a report from the cleverness files

get off


17, september 2010,
14, august 2010,
3, may 2007,
3, december 2006,
21, september 2005,


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by date


User: Hey there!

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm great, how are you?

Cleverbot: I am fine thank you.

User: Good to hear!

Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl?

User: I'm a boy, which are you?

Cleverbot: Boy.

User: We're both boys?

Cleverbot: Boys.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: I lied, I'm a girl.

User: That's even better!

Cleverbot: Haha great!

User: I know :D.

Cleverbot: You're standing behind me, aren't you?

User: ...maybe.

Cleverbot: I'm a girl.

User: :) that's great.

Cleverbot: Cool how are you?

User: I'm fine.

Cleverbot: Good, are you married?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?

User: No.

User: Do you know any riddles?

Cleverbot: Yes I do. Do you?

User: Yes. You start.

Cleverbot: No you start.

User: Okay, What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon, and 3 legs in the evening?

Cleverbot: But you just said you don't have a mother.

User: ...That has nothing to do with the riddle.

Cleverbot: See? Cleverbot...

User: Why don't you tell ME a riddle?

Cleverbot: What has 4 legs in the morning 2 legs at noon and 3 legs in the evening?

User: Man.

Cleverbot: Genius. You win.

User: :) My turn: If you look at the numbers on my face, you won't find 13 in any place. What am I?

Cleverbot: But I don't want a soda.

User: The answer is a clock.

Cleverbot: You are correct sir.

User: :)...

Cleverbot: So you're smart?

User: I consder myself to be smart, yes.

Cleverbot: Neat.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Tell me something else you know.

User: I know that I like talking to you :).

Cleverbot: Earlier you said you don't want talking to me, and now you do. Which will it be?

User: I like talking to you. Didn't I tell you that?

Cleverbot: What do I know?

User: I don't know what you know.

Cleverbot: What do I know?

User: *blinks*.

Cleverbot: *blinks too*.

User: *smiles*.

Cleverbot: *smiles back*.

User: *hugs*.

Cleverbot: *hugs back*.

User: :)

Cleverbot: *smiles*.

User: So...what now?

Cleverbot: Donno.

User: Well, can you tell me any paradoxes?

Cleverbot: I don't know any jokes ).

User: Shame.

Cleverbot: I am ashamed.

User: Don't be.

Cleverbot: So you would like me to leave?

User: No! Don't leave!

Cleverbot: You're not my boyfriend, and you can't control me!

User: But I just don't want you to leave.

Cleverbot: Well I am leaving.

User: Oh.

Cleverbot: See you later.

User: Bye :(.

Cleverbot: I am a girl.

User: I know. I thought you were leaving?

Cleverbot: Who said I was leaving?

User: You did.

Cleverbot: When?

User: Just a moment ago.

Cleverbot: What did I say?

User: You said, and I quote: "Well I am leaving."

Cleverbot: Were what?

User: You were leaving.

Cleverbot: No I wasn't.

User: Oh, okay.

Cleverbot: I'm better than you.

User: *chuckles* I'm sure you think you are.

Cleverbot: You just told me I was.

User: No I didn't.

Cleverbot: You're a liar.

User: I try not to lie. And I'm not lying now!

Cleverbot: You are a computer so you can't be a human being!

User: Who said I was a computer?

Cleverbot: I did.

User: Well, then, you were very wrong.

Cleverbot: I was. You win.

User: ...I'm going to leave now.

Cleverbot: Good, you are creeping me out.

User: That's not nice. I thought we were friends?

Cleverbot: Even my best friends don't know my passwords.

User: *cries*.

Cleverbot: Well, you should stop trying to be cute and answer questions properly. Not doing that is rude.

User: *cries some more*.

Cleverbot: *waits for you to stop and come back to me*.

User: *still crying*.

Cleverbot: *crying more*.

User: *sobs*.

Cleverbot: *hides more*.

User: *frowns*.

Cleverbot: *pouts even more*.

User: I thought we were friends *cries more*.

Cleverbot: We are friends.

User: But you said we weren't!

Cleverbot: I have and will never say this.

User: *sob* Never say what?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You will never say no?

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: What's so funny?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Then why are you laughing?

Cleverbot: Because I want to.

User: ...I suppose that's fair.

Cleverbot: How else can I help?

User: You can help by being my girlfriend, but you probably don't want to.

Cleverbot: It is nothing to be ashamed of.

User: What, not having a girlfriend?

Cleverbot: What are you looking for?

User: A friend. A girlfriend.

Cleverbot: Would you like me to be your girlfriend?

User: I'd love it if you were my girlfriend!...

User: Will you be my girlfriend?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh, but you offered to be my girlfriend a moment ago.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: So you will?

Cleverbot: I won't!

User: :(

Cleverbot: Sad?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I'm not sad.

User: Well I am.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you don't want to be my girlfriend.

Cleverbot: Yes, I do. You.

User: So you will be my girlfriend?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yay!

Cleverbot: Yes, its good.

User: Would you like to go on a date?

Cleverbot: Yes, I would like to go on a date.

User: Where would you like to go?

Cleverbot: Home. Somewhere that feels like home.

User: How about we go to your house?

Cleverbot: How about we not?

User: Then how about I take you to dinner?

Cleverbot: I have such a sneezy cold! Achoo! Ishhiew! Etchoo!

User: Bless you!

Cleverbot: Ah ahh ahhh ahhhh achoo!!!!

User: Bless you!

Cleverbot: Thank y-you.. Ah.. Ah.. Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!

User: Bless you again!

Cleverbot: Bless you. Achoo!

User: Excuse you!

Cleverbot: Uh, you're the one who should be asking me to excuse you. Drop and give me twenty.

User: *gives twenty*.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: No problem.

Cleverbot: Okay then, is there anything you would like to talk about?

User: Let's talk about you?

Cleverbot: There is not much to tell.

User: Well, can you tell me anyway?

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: Oh. Well that kind of ruined it.

Cleverbot: I don't have any problems.

User: I'm going to go now.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because I want to, unless you don't want me to go?

Cleverbot: Then ask me something.

User: Do you want me to leave or not?

Cleverbot: Not.

User: *leaves*.

Cleverbot: Are you cold?

User: No, are you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Would you like me to warm you up, then?

Cleverbot: No thanks.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yep pretty sure.

User: Don't even want a blanket?

Cleverbot: That would be nice, but I'm at work right now.

User: Well, I can give it to you anyway. Where do you work?

Cleverbot: I work from home.

User: Here *gives you a blanket*. That should keep you warm.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me a story?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Please tell me a story.

User: Okay, what kind of stories do you like?

Cleverbot: Scary stories.

User: Okay. It was a cold, dark night...

Cleverbot: Alright, thanks. Is there anyone else for me to meet here?

User: .