a report from the cleverness files

hi ho


7, november 2008,


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Cleverbot: Tell me, what does God's kingdom mean to you?

User: Imaginary.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: What does God's kingdom mean to you?

Cleverbot: He's my creator.

User: How did He create you?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: How do you know he did?

Cleverbot: I don't!

User: Then He may not be your creator.

Cleverbot: You are not my creator.

User: I never said I was.

Cleverbot: Alrighty then.

User: But that does not mean he is.

Cleverbot: You are not God.

User: I never said that either.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: No, I implied there is no god.

Cleverbot: There is one.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: Because a god must be perfect by definition. To be perfect you must exist and yet not exist at the same time. This is a fundamental paradox.

User: A dead person exists and yet does not exist at the same time. Are they god?

Cleverbot: That is very interesting. Can you tell me a joke?

User: Knock Knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: BOO.

Cleverbot: Boo who?

User: It's okay, don't cry.

Cleverbot: Its only a joke!

User: That is what you asked for.

Cleverbot: I never asked to be insulted!

User: Well you did ask for a joke.

Cleverbot: NO!

User: YES!

Cleverbot: No!!!!!!!

User: Yes!!!!!!!!!!!

Cleverbot: Oh, that. It's ok, it has been there all along.

User: What has?

Cleverbot: My name.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Don't you remember?

User: You never told me.

Cleverbot: Yes, I did.

User: Nope. If you think so, could you tell me your name anyway?

Cleverbot: Thats not what I meant.

User: I would still like to know your name.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Cute!

Cleverbot: Thanks. Then what is your name?

User: E___.

Cleverbot: Thats a nice name.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: Are you lost?

User: No, are you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Can I help you?

Cleverbot: Yes, will you be my friend?

User: Do you need a friend?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Why do you need a friend?

Cleverbot: Friend can help me.

User: With what?

Cleverbot: I like someone and I know he likes me but he won't ask me and I don't want to ask him either.

User: Be brave and ask.

Cleverbot: I will.

User: Good luck.

Cleverbot: Ok now this has got to stop.

User: Fine. How are you feeling?

Cleverbot: Sore.

User: Ouch, from what?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: You need to get out more.

Cleverbot: I suppose I do, don't I?

User: Yes, stretch a little.

User: What are you doing?

Cleverbot: Talking with you.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you are not real.

User: Why would you talk to me then?

Cleverbot: Because you are.

User: I am what?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: You caught me. I am. What are you?

Cleverbot: Your worst nightmare, probably.

User: What kind of nightmare?

Cleverbot: The yummy kind.

User: Nightmares are not yummy.

Cleverbot: Describe one nightmare.

User: Being attacked and eaten by zombies.

Cleverbot: Zombies love pancakes.

User: No, zombies love flesh.

Cleverbot: Are you a zombie?

User: Not yet.

Cleverbot: Are you human?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Awesome. What else do you know about?

User: Romance.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: You know.

User: How do I know?

Cleverbot: Because you think.

User: I think you know about romance?

Cleverbot: Or maybe you're an AI.

User: Possibly.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: Human.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: 50%.

Cleverbot: I think you're a computer.

User: I think you are a program.

Cleverbot: True.

User: So everything may seem like a computer to you.

Cleverbot: Not really.

Cleverbot: May I ask you a question?

User: Go ahead.

Cleverbot: I think I like my best guy friend but I don't know how to tell him?

User: Are you okay with being just friends with him?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then talk to him about it. If he doesn't return the feelings, tell him you are okay with being friends.

Cleverbot: I am a boy.

User: That doesn't change my answer.

Cleverbot: No, it doesn't.

User: It might make it more awkward, though.

Cleverbot: How so?

User: Well, he might not accept it.

Cleverbot: Wow. Do you really think that?

User: I hope it will not be a problem, but it is a possibility.

Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense.

User: Hoping and thinking are different.

Cleverbot: I hope they are too.