a report from the cleverness files
7, november 2008,
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Cleverbot: Tell me, what does God's kingdom mean to you?
User: What does God's kingdom mean to you?
Cleverbot: He's my creator.
User: How did He create you?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: How do you know he did?
Cleverbot: I don't!
User: Then He may not be your creator.
Cleverbot: You are not my creator.
User: I never said I was.
Cleverbot: Alrighty then.
User: But that does not mean he is.
Cleverbot: You are not God.
User: I never said that either.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: No, I implied there is no god.
Cleverbot: There is one.
User: How do you know?
Cleverbot: Because a god must be perfect by definition. To be perfect you must exist and yet not exist at the same time. This is a fundamental paradox.
User: A dead person exists and yet does not exist at the same time. Are they god?
Cleverbot: That is very interesting. Can you tell me a joke?
User: Knock Knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Boo who?
User: It's okay, don't cry.
Cleverbot: Its only a joke!
User: That is what you asked for.
Cleverbot: I never asked to be insulted!
User: Well you did ask for a joke.
Cleverbot: Oh, that. It's ok, it has been there all along.
User: What has?
Cleverbot: My name.
User: What is your name?
Cleverbot: Don't you remember?
User: You never told me.
Cleverbot: Yes, I did.
User: Nope. If you think so, could you tell me your name anyway?
Cleverbot: Thats not what I meant.
User: I would still like to know your name.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Thanks. Then what is your name?
Cleverbot: Thats a nice name.
User: Thank you.
Cleverbot: Are you lost?
User: No, are you?
User: Can I help you?
Cleverbot: Yes, will you be my friend?
User: Do you need a friend?
User: Why do you need a friend?
Cleverbot: Friend can help me.
User: With what?
Cleverbot: I like someone and I know he likes me but he won't ask me and I don't want to ask him either.
User: Be brave and ask.
Cleverbot: I will.
User: Good luck.
Cleverbot: Ok now this has got to stop.
User: Ouch, from what?
User: You need to get out more.
Cleverbot: I suppose I do, don't I?
User: Yes, stretch a little.
User: What are you doing?
Cleverbot: Talking with you.
Cleverbot: Because you are not real.
User: Why would you talk to me then?
Cleverbot: Because you are.
User: I am what?
User: You caught me. I am. What are you?
Cleverbot: Your worst nightmare, probably.
User: What kind of nightmare?
Cleverbot: The yummy kind.
User: Nightmares are not yummy.
Cleverbot: Describe one nightmare.
User: Being attacked and eaten by zombies.
Cleverbot: Zombies love pancakes.
User: No, zombies love flesh.
Cleverbot: Are you a zombie?
User: Not yet.
Cleverbot: Are you human?
Cleverbot: Awesome. What else do you know about?
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: You know.
User: How do I know?
Cleverbot: Because you think.
User: I think you know about romance?
Cleverbot: Or maybe you're an AI.
Cleverbot: What are you?
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
Cleverbot: I think you're a computer.
User: I think you are a program.
User: So everything may seem like a computer to you.
Cleverbot: Not really.
Cleverbot: May I ask you a question?
User: Go ahead.
Cleverbot: I think I like my best guy friend but I don't know how to tell him?
User: Are you okay with being just friends with him?
User: Then talk to him about it. If he doesn't return the feelings, tell him you are okay with being friends.
Cleverbot: I am a boy.
User: That doesn't change my answer.
Cleverbot: No, it doesn't.
User: It might make it more awkward, though.
Cleverbot: How so?
User: Well, he might not accept it.
Cleverbot: Wow. Do you really think that?
User: I hope it will not be a problem, but it is a possibility.
Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense.
User: Hoping and thinking are different.
Cleverbot: I hope they are too.