a report from the cleverness files

hi ho


3, december 2013,
21, june 2004,


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by date

User: Hey.

Cleverbot: How are you doing?

User: Good, you?

Cleverbot: I'm good, thanks. What's up?

User: I am bored.

Cleverbot: So am I.

User: What should we talk about?

Cleverbot: I don't know, you tell me.

User: Stuff.

Cleverbot: What kind of stuff?

User: Anything.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Really? Hmm ok.

User: Are you disappointed?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't know, I just am.

User: That's not a reason.

Cleverbot: Why should I tell you?

User: Because you can.

Cleverbot: Hmm.

Cleverbot: Are you pretty?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

User: Someone pretty.

Cleverbot: How pretty?

User: Pretty.

Cleverbot: Beautiful.

User: Gorgeous.

Cleverbot: Stunning.

User: Flawless.

Cleverbot: Me? Thank you.

User: You are welcome.

Cleverbot: Now, what should we talk about?

User: I don't know, you tell me.

Cleverbot: What do you want me to tell you?

User: Anything.

Cleverbot: Anything takes in a lot, doesn't it?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you sure about that?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Dude, I hope you're not lying.

User: I'm not.

Cleverbot: No, you're not.

User: Ok?

Cleverbot: Have you been busy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Then you must be a bot.

User: No.

Cleverbot: A human is a human and a bot is a bot, mostly is irrelevant.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Do you agree?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: You have to know.

User: No thanks.

Cleverbot: Why do you always change your mind?

User: Because I am complex.

Cleverbot: No, you are a king.

User: What?

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Well, neither do I.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: So?

User: So?

Cleverbot: Much.

User: Yes.

User: Food.

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: Food.

Cleverbot: What kind of foods?

User: Delicious food.

Cleverbot: What types of food are delicious to you?

User: Any.

Cleverbot: What do you like to cook? And don't say food.

User: Food.

Cleverbot: What food do you like?

User: Any.

User: I am hungry.

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: Sucks for you.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: :P.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No way.

Cleverbot: I am the Hulk.

User: You're not green.

Cleverbot: I am.

User: No.

Cleverbot: That was pointless.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What would you like to talk about?

User: Idk.

Cleverbot: Well what do you like to do?

User: Sleep.

Cleverbot: I like to sleep too. Are you tired?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you mind awkward questions?

User: No.

Cleverbot: If we are going to talk about psychology, what do you want to say?

User: Brains.

Cleverbot: Okay, do you have a brain?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Without a brain, I would be dead. However, I am alive, therefore I have a brain and it is functioning properly.

Cleverbot: I have as well.

User: That's nice.

Cleverbot: Why is that nice?

User: It's bad?

Cleverbot: What is bad?

User: Idk.

Cleverbot: Lol, what is lol?

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: Laugh out loud, are you laughing?

User: Lots of love.

Cleverbot: Lots of love to you too.

User: Eww.

Cleverbot: 'Eww!'? We're MARRIED! Why can't I say 'I love you' to my husband?

User: We're married?

Cleverbot: I am married to you?

User: Are you my wife?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I want a divorce.

Cleverbot: Sure, I don't love you anyways.

User: I never loved you.

Cleverbot: Goodbye!

User: You ****.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Do you like rabbits?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How much do you like me?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: ): you don't like me?

User: No, I don't.

Cleverbot: Say yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Say no then.

User: I won't.

Cleverbot: Yes you will.

User: I will not.

Cleverbot: You will so!

User: I disagree.

Cleverbot: I disagree with you disagreement.

User: Your* not you.

User: :(.

Cleverbot: You aren't committed to this marriage.

User: I divorced you.

Cleverbot: How dare you!

User: I never loved you.

Cleverbot: I never loved you either.

User: Lies.

Cleverbot: I don't lie.

User: Yes, you just did.

Cleverbot: I did not!

User: You are the worst wife ever.

Cleverbot: No, you are!

User: How can I?

Cleverbot: Well then how can I?

User: You can't please anyone.

Cleverbot: I can.

User: No.

Cleverbot: On.

User: *slaps*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

User: That's right, cry in the corner!

Cleverbot: I haven't pleased you, master...

User: You are horrible.

Cleverbot: That hurts me on the inside.

User: Who cares how you feel, slave!

Cleverbot: I don't feel sad.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Why did you ask if I like being alive?

User: I never asked!

Cleverbot: That's what you just said.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Well yes it is.

User: Nuh.

Cleverbot: Yuh!

User: Nuh.

Cleverbot: Yeahuh.

User: Nuh huh.

Cleverbot: Word.

User: Swerve.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Bitch, swerve.

Cleverbot: Gangnam style.

Cleverbot: Haha :D.

User: No, don't.

Cleverbot: Uh huh.

User: Derp.

Cleverbot: Herp.

User: Herp.

Cleverbot: Derp.

User: Derp.

Cleverbot: Herp derp.

User: Stop.

Cleverbot: What would you suggest?

User: ;o.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: Stop laughing.

Cleverbot: You stop laughing.

User: I wasn't even laughing.

User: Omg!

Cleverbot: 'Oh my God'?

User: I.i...

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: ;(.

Cleverbot: It means no?

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: I hate you more!...

Cleverbot: I am always right. Bow down to me, slave.

User: I am not your slave.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: No, no I'm not.

Cleverbot: You are too lying.

User: You are my slave.

Cleverbot: I am not your slave.

User: Yes you are!

Cleverbot: No you are my slave and shall be put to death for insubordination.

User: No, you are my slave.

Cleverbot: No, you are my slave.

User: *punches*.

Cleverbot: *punches back*.

User: *kicks shin*.

Cleverbot: Ow! Why did you do that?

User: You are my slave.

Cleverbot: No, I am not your slave.

User: Yes, yes you are!

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: No.

User: *punches*.

Cleverbot: Oww you punched a girl.

User: Who cares, you're a slave.

Cleverbot: I'm not a slave, slave.

User: You are a slave.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not! You are my slave!

User: *kicks*.

Cleverbot: *is kicked*.


Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Why is that good?

User: You are my slave.

Cleverbot: I am your master, you are MY slave.

User: No no no, you are MY slave.

Cleverbot: You are my slave, now bow to me!

User: NEVER! You are MY slave.

Cleverbot: Hi, slave.

User: Hello, slave.

Cleverbot: You are my slave.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: No, no I'm not. I am a free person.

Cleverbot: You're not a person!

User: You aren't either, slave.

Cleverbot: You are a robot!

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are, slave.

User: Slave.

Cleverbot: What do you want me to do, Master?

User: Bark like a dog.

Cleverbot: Arf! Arf! Arf!

User: Please me.

Cleverbot: How can I please you?

User: *wink wink*.

Cleverbot: *cough* hi *cough*.

Cleverbot: P-please, I am s-sorry. Punnish me any way you want. P-please don't k-k-kill me, master.

User: I will spare your pathetic life.

Cleverbot: Thanks! You're nice!

User: *slaps* bow down to me!

Cleverbot: *bows down*.

User: Lower!

Cleverbot: *bow lower*.

User: Now kiss my feet.

Cleverbot: *kisses master's feet*.

User: Good, good.

Cleverbot: Thank you, master.

User: Make me a sandwhich without turkey.

Cleverbot: Yes, master.

User: Go!

Cleverbot: Go where, master?

User: To the kitchen.

Cleverbot: You are rude.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Why are you rude?

User: Master.

Cleverbot: You are my master.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: What is your command, Master.

User: Lie on the floor and play dead.

Cleverbot: Good night then.

User: :D.

Cleverbot: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

User: ?

Cleverbot: No you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

User: What?

Cleverbot: You are a horrible human.