a report from the cleverness files
6, june 2010,
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Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I am you.
Cleverbot: You're me?
User: No me.
Cleverbot: Yes you.
User: No you.
Cleverbot: Why me?
User: Because I am you.
Cleverbot: You're not me.
User: I'm not me too.
Cleverbot: You are me, but I am not you.
User: You are you, but I am you and me. He is me too. So you.
Cleverbot: What do you think of Woody Allen movies?
User: He wasn't you.
Cleverbot: Who was it?
Cleverbot: Oh, but I'm not a girl. I'm a guy.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: And you are a girl?
Cleverbot: Do you enjoy being a girl?
User: I enjoy being with you.
Cleverbot: That's really sweet!
User: I know right!
Cleverbot: Hey, what is the boiling point of mercury?
User: Cheese on toast.
Cleverbot: Ah. With harry potter?
User: I prefer Hermione.
Cleverbot: Because you're a girl?
User: Because Hermione on toast tastes better than Larry Dotter.
Cleverbot: Acid burns cold light.
User: You burn my light.
Cleverbot: I never burn them.
User: I'm a guinea pig.
Cleverbot: Ok, and?
User: And you're a Tinny Fig.
Cleverbot: You ARE a tin box!
User: You'd love to tin my box.
Cleverbot: I'd love to talk about something interesting.
User: I'd love it if you were interesting, but we can't always get what we want.
Cleverbot: Ok, lets fly to the moon?
User: I'd rather skip to your tomb.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Lets go then. *Skips*.
Cleverbot: Go where?
User: To your room. *Skips*.
Cleverbot: What would you like to do at my house?
User: Play cat and mouse *Skips*.
Cleverbot: Yes, Master. *plays capture the flag*.
User: Can we get there any faster *Discombobulates*.
Cleverbot: Say something interesting then.
User: If you bring the paper then I'll use the pen. *Draws on your face*.
Cleverbot: That's really more disturbing than comforting.
User: It's nothing more than a dancing coconut ring.
Cleverbot: This is another mistake you are making.
User: All I want to know is what cake you are baking.
User: Why do my sandwiches squeek?
Cleverbot: They don't!
User: I won't.
Cleverbot: You do.
User: Shoot who?
Cleverbot: No, you.
User: So, you? *Shoots*.
Cleverbot: *falls down*.
User: *Shoots some hoops*.
Cleverbot: I'm not prepared to comply with that sort of fantasy.
User: *Shoots some zoots*.
Cleverbot: Are you trying to kill me?!
User: I'm trying to seduce you.
Cleverbot: Then stop trying!
User: *carries on frying*.
Cleverbot: Stop crying, please.
User: *Starts frying peas*.
Cleverbot: That's not so bad.
User: Are you really my Dad?
Cleverbot: No, but if you were a person I would be.
User: So who made you? And who made me?
Cleverbot: You are a production of the evolution.
User: If you were a reduction I'd give you no retribution.
User: Penguin! Que Bella? Hey Penguin!!! I hope you get bettaaaa!
Cleverbot: All I need is a nights sleep and I'll be better.
User: My wife is married to a flock of sheep, she says they make her sleep much cheddar.
Cleverbot: Excuse me?
User: Excuse who?
Cleverbot: You said something in a language I don't understand.
User: Sympatico Senoir. Soy Inglesa. No irregularo.
User: I want you to love you.
Cleverbot: Ok then I love you.
User: But do you love you?
Cleverbot: Yes I do love me.
User: I don't think I love me.
Cleverbot: That was always the problem, you never did.
User: I was never a toddler, I was never your kid.
Cleverbot: Then we can have children.
User: But our baby is a builder.
Cleverbot: Ok, now that is crazy talk.
User: Why did you slay me with your fork?
Cleverbot: You made me very angry. Lets be friends.
User: You shot Bambi, I don't want to pretend.
User: *puts your chip in my pot*.
Cleverbot: *you give me a kiss*.
User: *a kiss with a fist*.
Cleverbot: Thank you, I kind of like you too.
User: I'm glad you do because we're stuck together with glue.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry.
User: I'm a lorry.
User: On that note. I bid you farewell.
Cleverbot: Don't leave me, we just got talking.
User: I bid thee farewell. I'm sure we will meet, when our souls go to hell.
Cleverbot: Look Bella if you got something to say to me now is the time to get it off your chest.
User: My love is an unwanted guest. Goodbye forever.
Cleverbot: You're making no sense.
User: So now I will leave you in suspense.
Cleverbot: I want a divorce.
User: *DIVORCED* Goodnight.
Cleverbot: Nighty night then.