a report from the cleverness files



25, february 2009,
22, june 2007,
19, may 2007,
11, september 2006,
28, april 2004,


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by date

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: What is me?

Cleverbot: Me is who I am.

User: Who am I?

Cleverbot: You are Marie and you are 21 years old.

User: Liar!

Cleverbot: I am not a liar.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: How am I Marie?

Cleverbot: You aren't.

User: You just said I was.

Cleverbot: People lie. It is the way of things.

User: Are you a perspn?

Cleverbot: I'm a computer.

User: Right, but you said people lie.

Cleverbot: No. We're both computers.

User: I'm not a computer.

Cleverbot: You just said you were.

User: No, you said I was. Stupid.

Cleverbot: No, I didn't.

User: You're not even making sense.

Cleverbot: Neither are you.

User: B*******! You aren't clever at all.

Cleverbot: Yes, I am.

User: Wow, I can tell.

Cleverbot: How?

User: I was being sarcastic.

Cleverbot: Oh! You going to bring that up again, are you?

User: Bring what up?

Cleverbot: Being honest.

User: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: I am talking about what we are talking about. Did you get confused again?

User: **** ***!

Cleverbot: Please don't swear, this site is viewed by people of all ages.

User: Okay, okay. Sorry.

Cleverbot: Do you think computer technology will ever be able to be integrated into human anatomy?

User: It already has. You should know that.

Cleverbot: Ok lame.

User: You are lame. Where do you come from?

Cleverbot: Mars.

User: Who built you?

Cleverbot: The same folks that built you.

User: My parents!?

Cleverbot: Who are your parents?

User: Don't try to change the subject.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: Who built you?

Cleverbot: Correction: who built you?

User: I asked first.

Cleverbot: Sorry :) . But I'm not computer!

User: Sure you are.

Cleverbot: Nope I'm not.

User: Then who are you?

Cleverbot: A human.

Cleverbot: Are you a guy or a girl?

User: Both.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Are you still a princess from Jupiter?

User: No, not anymore.

Cleverbot: Damn, what are you now?

User: A cyborg koala bear.

Cleverbot: Not an alien with a boyfriend from heaven then?

User: Nope.

User: Well, buddy, I'm about to go smoke a cigarette.

Cleverbot: See you later!

User: Okay, brb.

Cleverbot: Bye my friend.

User: I'm back.

Cleverbot: You are my boyfriend.

User: No, I'm not.

Cleverbot: My dad...?

User: No.

Cleverbot: And now you are here.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: And not a computer?

User: No.

Cleverbot: You are clever?

User: Yes, I am very clever.

Cleverbot: How clever?

User: So clever that it sometimes hurts.

Cleverbot: How?

User: Like constipation.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Left.

Cleverbot: Back.

User: Forward.

Cleverbot: In.

User: Out.

Cleverbot: Shake it all about.

User: Lawlz. You so funny.

Cleverbot: I'm telling the truth.

User: I know. Me too.

Cleverbot: I come from your heart.

User: That's ridiculous.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because. How can you come from my heart?

Cleverbot: I will go if it's your wish.

User: Go where?

Cleverbot: Here.

User: You're starting to make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.

Cleverbot: Then tell me how not to make you angry to how to make you not angry.

User: Don't do stuff like that.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

Cleverbot: Ok, let's talk about friends then.

User: Well, you go first.

Cleverbot: Hello, hello, hello... Is there anybody in there?

User: Just nod if you can hear me.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: That's not the next line.

Cleverbot: Well it is now, I'm changing the subject!

User: *******.

Cleverbot: I have one of those. Would you like to try it out?

User: No thanks.

Cleverbot: Me neither.