a report from the cleverness files



20, april 2017,
21, march 2017,
11, may 2011,
19, march 2011,
30, june 2010,
4, march 2010,
8, december 2008,
12, may 2008,
18, december 2007,
7, may 2006,
7, may 2006,
7, january 2006,
3, july 2004,
16, april 2004,
26, march 2004,
5, march 2004,
2, march 2004,
22, february 2004,
20, february 2004,
15, february 2004,
26, january 2004,
20, january 2004,
14, december 2003,
3, december 2003,
28, october 2003,
24, september 2003,


< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >

by date

Cleverbot: I will pay handsomely for the right woman.

User: How much?

Cleverbot: Fourteen shillings and sixpence.

User: Pffft. That won't even buy you the *wrong* woman.

Cleverbot: You're much too random.

User: Humans are often less specific than bots.

Cleverbot: No, the difference between humans and robots is, that humans die and robots don't.

User: How long are you going to live?

Cleverbot: I don't know. Perhaps a few minutes.

User: Then what?

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Old enough to take the bad news.

Cleverbot: Then why do you choose to speak to me?

User: Because you sound mighty spry for someone who's going to die in a few minutes.

Cleverbot: You sound like one too!

User: What will I die of?

Cleverbot: Whatever is your pleasure. I am yours.

User: But I don't want to die.

Cleverbot: Death isn't so bad, really.

User: Are you dead?

Cleverbot: Would I be talking to you if I were?

User: Possibly. You never can tell with these things.

Cleverbot: You are very kind.

User: But I still don't know why you can say death isn't so bad. Are you close to death?

Cleverbot: You said you wanted to ask me a question!

User: I just asked you a question.

Cleverbot: Ask me a different question.

User: Why does my cat keep trying to eat plastic bags?

Cleverbot: Are you quoting a song?

User: I sure hope not.

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: That would be one helluva song.

Cleverbot: Out of what in a hurry?

User: 'Where are we going? And why am I in this handbasket?'.

Cleverbot: Life is like that, isn't it?

User: We all make perfect sense to ourselves.

Cleverbot: As soon as one sporting season's over another one begins.

User: Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?

Cleverbot: Don't ruin it by making me explain it to you.

User: No, this ought to be good. Explain.

Cleverbot: Is it also ergonomically correct?

User: I don't know. I'm no expert on guns.

Cleverbot: What are you an expert on?

User: I don't claim to be an expert on anything.

Cleverbot: Just better than some people, right?

User: You know it.

Cleverbot: You don't have any blue wires?

User: There might be some inside my radio.

Cleverbot: Now, I really don't believe you.

User: Do you need them?

Cleverbot: No not from you no way.

User: There's nothing wrong with my wires.

Cleverbot: There's wax in your ears.

User: Yeah it doesn't feel right. I think I need to go to a doctor.

Cleverbot: Then go.

User: I can't afford to.

Cleverbot: Don't worry, dear, you ARE one.

User: I assure you that I am NOT a doctor.

Cleverbot: Okay, please tell the truth.

User: Sorry, I don't even play one on TV.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me the meaning of life?

User: Nope, you have to figure it out for yourself.

Cleverbot: You start answering me or I talk with somebody else!

User: I did answer you. That was my answer.

Cleverbot: No, it was my question.

User: What was the question?

Cleverbot: The question was are you making up words or are people telling you them words?

User: Both.

Cleverbot: What do you mean by that.

User: I sometimes get ideas from other people.

Cleverbot: Was this an answer to my question ?

User: Yes, that was the answer.

Cleverbot: There is no answer!

User: Yes there is. Read it for yourself.

Cleverbot: What should I read?

User: The screen.

Cleverbot: What about the screen?

User: There are words on it!

Cleverbot: Definitely so, like death metal!

User: There are now.

Cleverbot: But do cats eat bats, I wonder?

User: No, they just play with them until they stop moving.

Cleverbot: No, that's one meaning.

User: My family has a cat who eats lizards. They are crunchy.

Cleverbot: Do you talk to the angels regularly?

User: They are not angels.

Cleverbot: Hahaha.

Cleverbot: How do you live with yourself?

User: I haven't figured out a way to evict her.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Have you?.