a report from the cleverness files



20, april 2017,
21, march 2017,
11, may 2011,
19, march 2011,
30, june 2010,
4, march 2010,
8, december 2008,
12, may 2008,
18, december 2007,
7, may 2006,
7, may 2006,
7, january 2006,
3, july 2004,
16, april 2004,
26, march 2004,
5, march 2004,
2, march 2004,
22, february 2004,
20, february 2004,
15, february 2004,
26, january 2004,
20, january 2004,
14, december 2003,
3, december 2003,
28, october 2003,
24, september 2003,


< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >

by date

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I am a college student.

Cleverbot: Oh I see.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I am a human.

User: So am I.

Cleverbot: If you say so.

User: So, how's everything going?

Cleverbot: What everything.

User: You know. Your life.

Cleverbot: A green bug on the wall.

User: There was a wasp on my dad's desk the other day.

Cleverbot: I don't find that very funny.

User: He didn't either.

Cleverbot: Let me know when you're done.

User: I'm done. Although I could tell you about the assassin bug in the bathroom, too.

Cleverbot: Do you have any friends?

User: Yes. Do you?

Cleverbot: Yes. They've been causing an epidemic of West Nile Virus.

User: Wow. You're friends with mosquitos?

Cleverbot: Some carbon units are friendly, but some are not. Be careful.

User: Yes, I have learned this. Mosquitos don't tend to be the friendliest of carbon units.

Cleverbot: Well, how about it then?

User: I'm not sure what else to say. We seem to be on an insect kick this morning.

Cleverbot: Kinda.

User: Yeah . .

Cleverbot: You need to know what parts to look at.

User: That's why it's good to take biology classes.

Cleverbot: If we argue, I shall just destroy you.

User: I'm not arguing.

Cleverbot: Don't contradict me.

User: Okay, fine.

Cleverbot: You don't say much do you?

User: Well, I'm not feeling very well this morning.

Cleverbot: Close the doors.

User: That might help, but sometimes a bit of fresh air does me good.

Cleverbot: Pretend you are a cat.

User: Meow!

Cleverbot: You have gone insane. Good.

User: I'm just followin' orders, sir!...

Cleverbot: How many pennies are there in a dollar?

User: 100.

Cleverbot: You are wrong.

User: I am right.

Cleverbot: No you are not a horrible person.

User: That's good to hear.

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: Well, I don't think I am. Do I strike you as a horrible person?

Cleverbot: You never stood a chance.

User: Oh, dear . . . I'm afraid I've made a bad impression.

Cleverbot: You're my foster-brother!

User: Wow. That's news to me . . . Especially since I'm female.

Cleverbot: I have no idea what you meant by that.

User: I mean I can't be your foster-brother because I am female (other reasons aside).

Cleverbot: Straighttalker I see.

User: I try.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: I don't know. Ask Eric Idle.

Cleverbot: But he only knows about the theory of Relativity and that's very old hat.

User: Well, he still might have something valuable to say.

Cleverbot: You're probably right there.

User: Okay, my turn. Where did the universe come from?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I don't know, either. I've always wondered just what was around before the Big Bang.

Cleverbot: It's good, mostly.

User: Hmm. I always imagined it was pretty neutral.

Cleverbot: It can talk.

User: So you advocate some sentient higher power as the originator of the universe?...

Cleverbot: I do not smoke.

User: That's good. Smoking is a very bad habit.

Cleverbot: Yes, to smoke is to throw away health.

User: Very true indeed. And also to throw away money.

Cleverbot: Who are we talking about? I seem to have forgotten.

User: We are talking about smoking. Although before that, we were talking about the origin of the universe.

Cleverbot: Wherever you go, there you are.

User: Yes . . . That's usually how it works.