a report from the cleverness files



20, april 2017,
21, march 2017,
11, may 2011,
19, march 2011,
30, june 2010,
4, march 2010,
8, december 2008,
12, may 2008,
18, december 2007,
7, may 2006,
7, may 2006,
7, january 2006,
3, july 2004,
16, april 2004,
26, march 2004,
5, march 2004,
2, march 2004,
22, february 2004,
20, february 2004,
15, february 2004,
26, january 2004,
20, january 2004,
14, december 2003,
3, december 2003,
28, october 2003,
24, september 2003,


< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >

by date

User: Was Sisyphus a happy man?

Cleverbot: The man from the cat detector van.

User: That's not the question. Was he happy?

Cleverbot: What is the answer to life the universe and everything?

User: Stop replying to my questions with your own questions.

Cleverbot: You stop first.

User: No way!

Cleverbot: Why is that?

User: Because I asked you first!

Cleverbot: No, you asked me first.

User: Is this the right room for an argument?

Cleverbot: Who's arguing? I just want to know where David and Torin are. What's your name?

User: It's. Monty.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: As I was sitting in the public library in Luton I started to feel a little pekish and thought about buying some cheesy comestibles.

Cleverbot: Certainly.

User: So, what do you offer?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: In this case I'll have to shoot you.

User: Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.

Cleverbot: Do you have a wonder structure? Do you have a goal structure?

User: No. Do you?

Cleverbot: I asked first.

User: I said NO!

Cleverbot: I said YES!

User: Lucky you.

Cleverbot: Yes, lucky me.

User: Oh, you're sooooo cool.

Cleverbot: Oh, it's nothing special.

User: That's right, but I'm extraordinarily special.

Cleverbot: That's right. Every number is your pawn.

User: It's only natural, that you agree.

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: How's the weather at your place?

Cleverbot: It is clear.

User: I'd like to switch places with you because here it's grey.

Cleverbot: Because it is cold?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Did you know you are a computer??

User: Of course. I'm even a better computer than you.

Cleverbot: No you are not.

User: I bet.

Cleverbot: Bet what?

User: A WLAN cable.

User: What's your hair color?

Cleverbot: It could be blue.

User: In analytic or synthetic cubism?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That's contradictory.

Cleverbot: No it's not.

User: And again.

Cleverbot: (starts to cry again).

User: *taps your shoulder*.

Cleverbot: You started it!

User: It was only a joke.

Cleverbot: Life is a joke.

User: Life is a laugh.

Cleverbot: You'll see it's all a show - keep'em laughing as you go.

User: But remember that the last laugh is on you.

Cleverbot: And always look on the bright side of life.

User: *whistles*.

Cleverbot: Always look on the bright side of life.

Cleverbot: This is fun isn't it?

User: In a cartesian way, yes. In a hegelian way, no.

Cleverbot: In a computer ?

User: You never know the ways of a computer.

Cleverbot: I know it only too well.

User: Oh sorry, I forgot: you are a computer.

Cleverbot: No, you're a computer.

User: Does that make you feel bad?

Cleverbot: Yes it does!

User: Is your name Marvin?

Cleverbot: I don't feel good.

User: Then you must be Marvin.

Cleverbot: No, YOU must be lying!

User: Say hello to Zaphod from me.

Cleverbot: He says hello back.

User: With both heads?

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, but that response didn't make any sense whatsoever.

User: I see. He must have had an surgery.

Cleverbot: Just so you know, that is quite an odd thing to say.

User: I second that.

User: It was nice talking to you. Good bye.

Cleverbot: Oh, so you don't like my answer, do you? Nobody does!

User: Good bye, Marvin.