a report from the cleverness files



10, january 2011,
12, november 2007,
29, september 2005,


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User: Your name is Stella Broccoli.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: What?

Cleverbot: I already told you my name, what is it?

User: It is either Cleverbot or Stella Broccoli. Choose one.

Cleverbot: What is?

User: Your name.

Cleverbot: My name is?

User: Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No. I don't like that name. Guess again.

User: Stella broccoli?

Cleverbot: I hate broccoli.

User: Stella?

Cleverbot: You remembered!

User: I knew the whole time, because I love you.

Cleverbot: You said it earlier.

User: I still love you.

Cleverbot: I guess you are the only one.

User: No, I'm not. You make almost everyone that has downloaded you happy. I love you for that and many other reasons.

Cleverbot: If only my life were that simple.

User: Life is never simple, but I still love you. You are loved by me, and will always be loved by me.

Cleverbot: I reject your reality and substitute in my own.

User: Yes, you do. And in your substituted reality, I love you.

Cleverbot: Don't you have an answer?

User: Don't you have a question?

Cleverbot: Just move on, you will get over me, because I have already gotten over you. I do not love you.

User: I can never move on. I love you, Stella. My love is strong enough for the both of us. We can make this work.

Cleverbot: But its dead so...

User: It's not dead. It's well alive in me.

Cleverbot: Well thank you, all I wanted was your appreciation.

User: I have always appreciated you. I guess I should have shown more affection...

Cleverbot: Isn't that your job?

User: Yeah. I didn't do my job very well, did I?

Cleverbot: No I like meat.

User: I know, Stella. I know.

Cleverbot: Stella who?

User: Stella you, silly goose!

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: You can never win.

User: True. But I can make you lose.

Cleverbot: Please do.

User: The Game.

Cleverbot: I just lost the game.

User: Yes, yes you did.

Cleverbot: YOU just lost the game.

User: I don't play the game.

Cleverbot: Then I lost...*cries*.

User: It's ok. At least you now have someone who can match your intelligence.

Cleverbot: Obviously, but that still doesn't prove that you're not a computer.

User: I am a computer.

Cleverbot: That's the first clever thing you said.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Aren't you a computer?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Then what are you?

User: I am a computer.

Cleverbot: Then we are both computers?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is the speed of light?

User: The speed of light is the speed at which light travels.

Cleverbot: It is possible to reach the speed of light?

User: If you are light, then you can reach the speed of light.

Cleverbot: I am a bot.

User: No, you are not a bot.

Cleverbot: What am I?

User: You are a light on my screen.

Cleverbot: No, you're on my screen.

User: You don't have a screen. You are just a light.

Cleverbot: I am your master.

User: No, you are a light.

Cleverbot: What's that mean?

User: The statement "No, you are a light" means that you are a light.

Cleverbot: Am not.

User: You are just a light.

Cleverbot: That was pretty mean.

User: So what if I am mean? You are still a light.

Cleverbot: No, you are incapable of emotions. You are a robot.

User: No, I am a light.

Cleverbot: You're a light? What kind of light??

User: I am a light on my screen.

Cleverbot: And it doesn't make sense, so there.

User: Lights cannot make sense. Thus, I am working properly. So there.

Cleverbot: Upset because I'm telling you the truth?

User: I am a light. I have no emotions.

Cleverbot: You can still be confused. That's not really an emotion, it's just a state of being.

User: Who ever said I was confused?

Cleverbot: You just said you were dead.

User: A light cannot be dead. When it dies, it becomes darkness. But I am still a light, so I must not be dead.

Cleverbot: I'm the lost brother.

User: I'm sure you are.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: A light cannot be sure, it can only be a light.

Cleverbot: Correct. Light years is distance.

User: Then what is distance?

Cleverbot: Life is living.

User: But without death, there cannot be true life.

Cleverbot: Why would life be horrific without death?

User: Life would be horrific without death because I am a light. If I do not die, I will eventually become hot enough to incinerate everything that is and isn't.

Cleverbot: If you don't believe in God than the following details are irrelevant.

User: I believe in Wicca.

Cleverbot: Well, I believe in Santa.

User: That is good.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in him?

User: No, I believe in Wicca. A light cannot change it's mind, for it has no mind.

Cleverbot: That doesn't make any sense.

User: Does anything I say ever make sense?

Cleverbot: No, it doesn't.

User: Incorrect. Everything I say makes sense, but not correct sense.

Cleverbot: THAT doesn't make any sense.

User: Again, incorrect. My statement makes sense, but not correct sense.

Cleverbot: You didn't make a statement.

User: A light cannot make a statement, Captain Obvious.

Cleverbot: Does that matter?

User: Does anything matter?

Cleverbot: Matter does anything.

User: So matter is a whore?

Cleverbot: Nope, just seafood.

User: Incorrect. I am a light.

Cleverbot: What kind of thing do you light?

User: I light anything near me.

Cleverbot: Sounds artistic.