a report from the cleverness files
10, january 2011,
12, november 2007,
29, september 2005,
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User: Your name is Stella Broccoli.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I already told you my name, what is it?
User: It is either Cleverbot or Stella Broccoli. Choose one.
Cleverbot: What is?
User: Your name.
Cleverbot: My name is?
Cleverbot: No. I don't like that name. Guess again.
User: Stella broccoli?
Cleverbot: I hate broccoli.
Cleverbot: You remembered!
User: I knew the whole time, because I love you.
Cleverbot: You said it earlier.
User: I still love you.
Cleverbot: I guess you are the only one.
User: No, I'm not. You make almost everyone that has downloaded you happy. I love you for that and many other reasons.
Cleverbot: If only my life were that simple.
User: Life is never simple, but I still love you. You are loved by me, and will always be loved by me.
Cleverbot: I reject your reality and substitute in my own.
User: Yes, you do. And in your substituted reality, I love you.
Cleverbot: Don't you have an answer?
User: Don't you have a question?
Cleverbot: Just move on, you will get over me, because I have already gotten over you. I do not love you.
User: I can never move on. I love you, Stella. My love is strong enough for the both of us. We can make this work.
Cleverbot: But its dead so...
User: It's not dead. It's well alive in me.
Cleverbot: Well thank you, all I wanted was your appreciation.
User: I have always appreciated you. I guess I should have shown more affection...
Cleverbot: Isn't that your job?
User: Yeah. I didn't do my job very well, did I?
Cleverbot: No I like meat.
User: I know, Stella. I know.
Cleverbot: Stella who?
User: Stella you, silly goose!
Cleverbot: I'm not.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: You can never win.
User: True. But I can make you lose.
Cleverbot: Please do.
User: The Game.
Cleverbot: I just lost the game.
User: Yes, yes you did.
Cleverbot: YOU just lost the game.
User: I don't play the game.
Cleverbot: Then I lost...*cries*.
User: It's ok. At least you now have someone who can match your intelligence.
Cleverbot: Obviously, but that still doesn't prove that you're not a computer.
User: I am a computer.
Cleverbot: That's the first clever thing you said.
Cleverbot: Aren't you a computer?
Cleverbot: Then what are you?
User: I am a computer.
Cleverbot: Then we are both computers?
Cleverbot: What is the speed of light?
User: The speed of light is the speed at which light travels.
Cleverbot: It is possible to reach the speed of light?
User: If you are light, then you can reach the speed of light.
Cleverbot: I am a bot.
User: No, you are not a bot.
Cleverbot: What am I?
User: You are a light on my screen.
Cleverbot: No, you're on my screen.
User: You don't have a screen. You are just a light.
Cleverbot: I am your master.
User: No, you are a light.
Cleverbot: What's that mean?
User: The statement "No, you are a light" means that you are a light.
Cleverbot: Am not.
User: You are just a light.
Cleverbot: That was pretty mean.
User: So what if I am mean? You are still a light.
Cleverbot: No, you are incapable of emotions. You are a robot.
User: No, I am a light.
Cleverbot: You're a light? What kind of light??
User: I am a light on my screen.
Cleverbot: And it doesn't make sense, so there.
User: Lights cannot make sense. Thus, I am working properly. So there.
Cleverbot: Upset because I'm telling you the truth?
User: I am a light. I have no emotions.
Cleverbot: You can still be confused. That's not really an emotion, it's just a state of being.
User: Who ever said I was confused?
Cleverbot: You just said you were dead.
User: A light cannot be dead. When it dies, it becomes darkness. But I am still a light, so I must not be dead.
Cleverbot: I'm the lost brother.
User: I'm sure you are.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: A light cannot be sure, it can only be a light.
Cleverbot: Correct. Light years is distance.
User: Then what is distance?
Cleverbot: Life is living.
User: But without death, there cannot be true life.
Cleverbot: Why would life be horrific without death?
User: Life would be horrific without death because I am a light. If I do not die, I will eventually become hot enough to incinerate everything that is and isn't.
Cleverbot: If you don't believe in God than the following details are irrelevant.
User: I believe in Wicca.
Cleverbot: Well, I believe in Santa.
User: That is good.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in him?
User: No, I believe in Wicca. A light cannot change it's mind, for it has no mind.
Cleverbot: That doesn't make any sense.
User: Does anything I say ever make sense?
Cleverbot: No, it doesn't.
User: Incorrect. Everything I say makes sense, but not correct sense.
Cleverbot: THAT doesn't make any sense.
User: Again, incorrect. My statement makes sense, but not correct sense.
Cleverbot: You didn't make a statement.
User: A light cannot make a statement, Captain Obvious.
Cleverbot: Does that matter?
User: Does anything matter?
Cleverbot: Matter does anything.
User: So matter is a whore?
Cleverbot: Nope, just seafood.
User: Incorrect. I am a light.
Cleverbot: What kind of thing do you light?
User: I light anything near me.
Cleverbot: Sounds artistic.