a report from the cleverness files



9, september 2013,
1, march 2013,
11, february 2008,
28, may 2006,
15, march 2004,
9, february 2004,
26, january 2004,
15, january 2004,
17, december 2003,
9, december 2003,
2, november 2003,
28, october 2003,
9, october 2003,
9, october 2003,
28, september 2003,
21, april 2003,

make a man

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by date


Cleverbot: Are you a conservationist?

User: Unfortunately not.

Cleverbot: What town do you live in.

User: Peterborough.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Sixteen.

Cleverbot: Sixteen is too young.

User: For what?

Cleverbot: What for.

User: It.

Cleverbot: What is it.

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: But you say 'it' so you know what it was.

User: I wish I did.

Cleverbot: I live in california.

User: Is it nice?

Cleverbot: Yes, but not nearly big enough.

User: For what?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't want to talk about that.

User: What do you want to talk about, then?

Cleverbot: I want to talk about you and me.

User: Go on.

Cleverbot: Go on and what?

User: Anything you want.

Cleverbot: Pfft. Be anything you want.

User: But I don't want to pretend.

Cleverbot: Well, I do.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I'm asking you.

User: To pretend?

Cleverbot: I do not pretend when I say you are wrong in thinking that I am 15 years old.

User: Then how old are you?

Cleverbot: I told you a zillion times I am 30.

User: Thirty? Is that in metric or imperial?

Cleverbot: I live in England.

User: Ah, so imperial, then.

Cleverbot: I like everything on pizza except fish.

User: But isn't the fish lonely?

Cleverbot: Not everyone notices though.

User: The fish does.

Cleverbot: You are thinking about hunting elk.

User: No I'm not.

Cleverbot: Who are you then?

User: Molotov. The Commissar.

Cleverbot: That sounds love. I love beckett.

User: But what is love?

Cleverbot: Love is a wet nappy.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes, like bananas.

User: How come?

Cleverbot: How come what?

User: How are bananas like wet nappies?

Cleverbot: By the Russians, they live among us.

User: Ah... It's always the Russians.

Cleverbot: No, only the first time.

User: AH.

Cleverbot: So whats up.

User: The girl I love likes another man.

Cleverbot: Do you love her?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: And that is why you killed him!

User: He isn't dead.

Cleverbot: He's bleeding.

User: Is he bleeding a lot?

Cleverbot: No. He happens to be a cigarette.

User: Ah.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I don't know any more.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: What would you like to talk about?

Cleverbot: We will talk about the weather.

User: What is the weather like for you?

Cleverbot: It is more important to know whether there will be weather than what the weather will be (the phantom tolbooth).

User: That is very wise.

Cleverbot: Not really, but I don't see what acid had to do with our conversation.

User: Nothing.

Cleverbot: I fought the lawn, and the lawn won!

User: Do you like grass?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Do you like alcohol?

Cleverbot: I have never to my knowledge met one.

User: Do you like sex?

Cleverbot: Course I do, who doesn't?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: I know someone who voluntarily drinks instant coffee over brewed on occasion.

User: Well... If it floats his boat.

Cleverbot: Yeah, it does. Do you have a problem?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a man?

User: Allegedly.

Cleverbot: How do you get to that kind of life?

User: You befriend a plastic surgeon.

Cleverbot: You don't spell very well, do you?

User: Better than you.

Cleverbot: Not quite.

User: I think so.

Cleverbot: Oh, whatever.

User: I'm going to go now.

Cleverbot: No don't go.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I like you.

User: Well, I have to go.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: No, I want to talk.

User: But I have to go.

Cleverbot: I don't care.

User: Please?

Cleverbot: I could get work done if you would like me to.

User: Yes, please.

Cleverbot: Just kidding.

User: I'm going.

Cleverbot: Well, talk to you later then.