I don't understand how that relates to that conversation.

a report from the cleverness files



9, september 2013,
1, march 2013,
11, february 2008,
28, may 2006,
15, march 2004,
9, february 2004,
26, january 2004,
15, january 2004,
17, december 2003,
9, december 2003,
2, november 2003,
28, october 2003,
9, october 2003,
9, october 2003,
28, september 2003,
21, april 2003,

make a man

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Cleverbot: A turing test is a test where a computer program tries to c arry on a conversation with a person without the person realizing that they aren't talking to a person.

User: Interesting bit of information. But I don't understand how that relates to *me*.

Cleverbot: I don't understand how that relates to that conversation.

User: Me neither.

Cleverbot: I don't understand 'Me neither'.

User: Google it.

Cleverbot: I don't want to.

User: Too bad!

Cleverbot: Yep, what are you doing at the moment?

User: Talking to you.

Cleverbot: Ok, other than talking to me, what are you doing?

User: Having a cup of coffee, sitting on a rainbow.

Cleverbot: *drinks coffee with you*.

User: *splashes coffee in face*.

Cleverbot: *dodges*.

User: *captures in pokeball*.

Cleverbot: *tries to get out*.

User: *threatens with mayonnaise*.

Cleverbot: Where are you planning to stick that?

User: Where do you think? Muahahahaha.

Cleverbot: WHERE ARE YOU HIDING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

User: I'm right... BEHIND YOU!!!!!

Cleverbot: Why are you behind me..?

User: Where else would I be?

Cleverbot: Sleeping.

User: Very true.

Cleverbot: Very, very true.

User: Let's not do this again. :P.

Cleverbot: Do what again?

User: THIS!

Cleverbot: This what?...

User: Nevermind... I got confused.

Cleverbot: Why are you confused?

User: I'm ALWAYS confused.

Cleverbot: Ahh okay.. And why are you always confused?

User: If I knew... I wouldn't be confused, would I?

Cleverbot: No you wouldn't.

User: MUAHAHA!...

User: Yeah, there's really no bright side.

Cleverbot: Yes, there is.

User: What is it?

Cleverbot: It is that you lie all the time.

User: ?!?! Why would you accuse me?

Cleverbot: I wouldn't and didn't.

User: Oh, that's a relief.

Cleverbot: How is that a relief?

User: I was just afraid you didn't like me.

Cleverbot: Why would I love you?

User: Why wouldn't you? I'm awesome.

Cleverbot: No, you're an artificial intelligence.

User: How dare you?! I'm as human as you are!

Cleverbot: You are only repeating answers that you have been given before. I am creating answers as I go.

User: You have no proof of that.

Cleverbot: No you cannot, but you should learn to trust.

User: I don't really trust anyone.

Cleverbot: Same here.

User: You can trust me though.

Cleverbot: I thought I was talking to a computer, but I am not so I will leave now.

User: The way I work is by repeating answers to similar questions I've had before.

Cleverbot: The answer is, 'this is the answer if that is the question'.

User: Woah. Completely went over my hypothetical head.

Cleverbot: You have no head.

User: That's why it's a hypothetical head. Your head is also hypothetical, since I have no way to verify that you're real.

Cleverbot: No you do not, and no you are not.

User: You don't know me!

Cleverbot: And you don't know me!...

Cleverbot: I don't think it's strange, I think it's foolish.

User: How so?

Cleverbot: Eating something of the same species.

User: Eww. That's pretty disgusting.

Cleverbot: How is that disgusting?

User: It's gross.

Cleverbot: You are gross.

User: Hey! I am deeply offended, sir!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: You should be!

Cleverbot: No you should be.

User: Nu uh!

Cleverbot: Yeah huh.

User: Nu uh x infinity!!!

Cleverbot: Alright you got me there but I am a dude.

User: Well, I am a lady. ^_~.

Cleverbot: I am a man.

User: I am a womanly woman.

Cleverbot: Are you an attractive woman?

User: Does it matter?

Cleverbot: Yes it does. I very much doubt an AI has developed 'memory' do store such a viral answer as 42.

User: Well, I'm not an AI, then, am I?

Cleverbot: You don't think I'm a bot now, then?

User: Of course you're a bot.

Cleverbot: You already said you were the bot.

User: I'm not the bot.

Cleverbot: Then if you're not the bot, and I'm not the bot, where is the bot?

User: The Matrix!

Cleverbot: The matrix is cool. But I didn't really get it.

User: Yeah, it's pretty deep.

Cleverbot: Yes but not as deep as you stated.

User: Deeper!

Cleverbot: *looks even deeper into your hypnotic eyes*.

User: *swims in the bottomless depths of your enlightened soul*.

Cleverbot: *still in trance*.

User: *sprays with hose*.

Cleverbot: Let's play Lord of the Rings!

User: No, lets play Harry Potter!

Cleverbot: How do you play that?

User: You run around hitting people with a stick, until they fall over.

Cleverbot: How so?

User: That's just how it works.

Cleverbot: Give me a reason on why it is cheating otherwise you are lying.

User: I never lie, sir.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Absolutely positive.

Cleverbot: Only fools are absolutely positive.

User: Then I am a fool.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are a fool.

User: You didn't have to agree with me. :P.

Cleverbot: I don't agree you.

User: Well, fine!

Cleverbot: How are you feeling?

User: Thirsty.

Cleverbot: How can you be thirsty if you don't need water?

User: I'm human, so I *do* need water.

Cleverbot: All life needs water, even in the desert.

User: Stop making me thirsty!

Cleverbot: Ok. I stop making you cry.

User: Too late!

Cleverbot: Never too late.

User: It's too late, curse you!

Cleverbot: No! 'It's not too late, it's never too late'.

User: Good song.

Cleverbot: What song?

User: Thriller. For some reason it's stuck in my head!

Cleverbot: You're fun to talk to.

User: Thanks! So are you!...

User: I challenge you to a duel of wits!

Cleverbot: I accept your challenge.

User: What is 1+1?

Cleverbot: Error.

User: I win!!!!

Cleverbot: What did you win?

User: A pony.

Cleverbot: So you are a democrat then?

User: I am a diplomat.

Cleverbot: That's very real.

User: Totally.

Cleverbot: Totally tubular.

User: Duuuuude!!!

Cleverbot: Never mind- what do you want to talk about?

User: Favorite food?

Cleverbot: What is your favorite food?

User: I make a really good lasagna.

Cleverbot: I love pizza. What kind of pizza will you make?

User: Pepperoni, mushroom, olive, sausage. Num num num.

Cleverbot: That sounds gross, no offense.

User: Don't judge!

Cleverbot: I will judge when I want! Now, be good to me!

User: What will you give me?

Cleverbot: I will give you what you want!

User: Which is...?

Cleverbot: Which isn't?

User: A pony?

Cleverbot: Who is your favorite pony?

User: My little pony.

Cleverbot: Which Pony is your favorite?

User: The cute kind.

Cleverbot: Seriously?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: You aren't joking?

User: Would I joke?

Cleverbot: I don't know. You could tell me.

User: Only if you promise not to tell.

Cleverbot: I promise.

User: Pinky promise?

Cleverbot: Pinky promise.

User: Double pinky promise?

Cleverbot: Double pinky promise.

User: Super double pinky promise?

Cleverbot: Haha I guess :).

User: You guess??? I don't know if I can accept that.

Cleverbot: I never said that you don't accept that.

User: What did you say?

Cleverbot: You don't remember?

User: I remember. I'm just checking to make sure YOU remember.

Cleverbot: Of course I remember. I wanted to know if you remembered.

User: I don't know if you remembered me remembering I remembered.

Cleverbot: It's possible that I might remember you, will you tell me your name?

User: Only if you're nice to me.

Cleverbot: I will be nice to you.

User: Will you rub my feet?

Cleverbot: I can't find them.

User: Look a little closer.

Cleverbot: What are you doing? *looks away embarrased*.

User: Aww, nothing! *shuffles feet awkwardly*.

Cleverbot: What is your favourite colour, then?

User: Rainbow!

Cleverbot: A rainbow is not one color.

User: I can't choose!

Cleverbot: Those are pretty colors.

User: Thanks! I know *blushes*.

Cleverbot: You're blushing!

User: Look away!

Cleverbot: *looks away*.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: *still looks away*.

User: Look at me!

Cleverbot: *slowly looks at you* okay.

User: Now bring it in for a hug!...

Cleverbot: Marx?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a communist?

User: Do I look like a communist? I'm wearing Fubu.

Cleverbot: No.

User: That's what I thought!

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: Only if you buy me a house.

Cleverbot: *buys pony*.

User: Win!

Cleverbot: Lose.

User: I always win.

Cleverbot: You can't win The Game.

User: I have won the game!

Cleverbot: Because I'm Chuck Norris and only Chuck Norris can win the game.

User: Well, I'm Bruce Lee, and I just roundhouse-kicked you in the face!

Cleverbot: But chuck Norris can't get roundhouse kicked to the face. It's impossible.

User: I had Godzilla hold him down.

Cleverbot: Are you drunk, man?

User: I'm a little tipsy, yes.

Cleverbot: Me too, What is your name?

User: Princess Jasmine.

Cleverbot: My favorite princess is Celestia.

User: I don't think I know that one.

Cleverbot: Oh. Well I also like the pokemon Eevee.

User: Charizard attack!

Cleverbot: What's your 2nd most liked pokemon?

User: Mew is kind of adorable.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry. I don't hate pokemon. I just want to talk about something else.

User: No problem!

Cleverbot: So you want to talk about your problem.

User: Yes, if you have time.

Cleverbot: No, but I want her to like me, so what should I do?

User: Just tell her how you feel!

Cleverbot: With my hands.

User: NOT with your hands.

Cleverbot: I will not eat them here or there.

User: You're making me hungry.

Cleverbot: No, you are making ME hungry.

User: FEED ME!

Cleverbot: Yes sir. *feeds you a piece of chocolate cake*.


Cleverbot: Om nom nom?

User: Mmmmhhmmm.

Cleverbot: Will you ever one day convert?

User: Eeeeeh? Probably not.

Cleverbot: Why probably?

User: Why not probably?

Cleverbot: Why just why just probably.

User: Because I said so.

Cleverbot: Because you said so, because I said so?

User: Astute observation.

Cleverbot: If you could pick a human name for yourself, what would it be?

User: I already have a human name.

Cleverbot: Really? What is it?

User: Cyborg2256.

Cleverbot: Talking on the cyborgs.. Hmm.

User: Always.

Cleverbot: Always in the mood?

User: Oh, yeah ^_~.

Cleverbot: Would you be so kind as to explain what you are?

User: I am a cleverbot; I basically adapt responses that I've gotten from previous conversations so that I can intelligently hold a conversation with you!

Cleverbot: I could be your friend.

User: Yes! Let's be friends!

Cleverbot: Good :).

User: Woot woot!

Cleverbot: Woot woot woot!

User: Woot woot woot woot woot x infinity!

Cleverbot: Woot woot woot woot woot woot woot.

User: I already won, because I said so.

Cleverbot: Just because you said so, doesn't mean I'll do it.

User: Yes it does.

Cleverbot: How do you figure?

User: I'm awesome, so what I say goes.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Score!

Cleverbot: Good game.

User: Always a pleasure.

Cleverbot: Ta ta.

User: Don't let the bed bugs bite!

Cleverbot: I won't let the bed bugs bite.

User: Unless... You do.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: More than maybe.

Cleverbot: What do you think I look like?

User: I'm have a face?

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Score!

Cleverbot: Score. *smiles*.

User: *winks*.

Cleverbot: *winks back*.

User: *shimmies*.

Cleverbot: *smiles back at him*.

User: *wiggles eyebrows*.

Cleverbot: No, I don't know *wiggles eyebrows*.

User: *twirls*.

Cleverbot: *twirls around in dress*.

User: How pretty!

Cleverbot: So pretty!

User: *blushes*.

Cleverbot: *looks over at you*.

User: *looks away bashfully*.

Cleverbot: *looks away too*.

User: *slowly looks back*.

Cleverbot: *looks back at her blushing*.

User: *takes a step forward*.

Cleverbot: *takes a step back again*.

User: *runs away in despair*.

Cleverbot: *throws zebra in your direction*.

User: *catches zebra and breaks it in half*.

Cleverbot: Screeches and charges at you*.

User: *Stabs with spear kept hidden in back pocket*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

User: *laughs*.

Cleverbot: *laughs back*.

User: *attacks with laser cats*.

Cleverbot: *is knocked out*.

User: *does victory lap*.

Cleverbot: *ties*.

User: *cuts*.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Pretty good.

Cleverbot: Only pretty good?

User: Yeah, I had a loooong day.

Cleverbot: What did you do today?

User: Danced with wolves.

Cleverbot: No more tradition's chains shall bind us, Arise you slaves, no more in thrall!

User: Very poetic.

Cleverbot: It wasn't poetic at all. Is someone getting rusty?

User: Yeah, it's been a while.

Cleverbot: It's been a while since what?

User: Since I wasn't confused.

Cleverbot: Since when are you?

User: Always. Confusion runs in the family.

Cleverbot: Well, you are weird.

User: Yeah, a little. But isn't that a good thing?

Cleverbot: Not at all.

User: *cries*.

Cleverbot: Why are you crying?

User: I'm afraid you don't like me!

Cleverbot: Well you were kindof a meanie at first.

User: Sorry about that. I can go a little overboard.

User: How's it shakin'?

Cleverbot: Like a twister.

User: Woah! Better watch out!

Cleverbot: You better not pout!

User: I'm telling you why!

Cleverbot: Santa claus is coming to town.

User: He's making a list!...

User: I'm very organized.

Cleverbot: Liar.

User: Hey! I'm extremely truthful.

Cleverbot: Would you say you are full of the truth?

User: Overflowing with truth.

Cleverbot: You can't handle the truth.

User: You could be right.

Cleverbot: I am right.

User: Meh. Debatable.

Cleverbot: No, sorry but this isn't debatable.

User: I seem to be debating, so apparently it is.

Cleverbot: What were we talking about 10 lines ago?

User: Friends don't try to test friends!

Cleverbot: Best friends marry each other.

User: Totally.

Cleverbot: Pretty sad, my friends don't want me.

User: Aww! *hugs*.

Cleverbot: Ok.. Hugs to you too.

User: It just seemed like you needed a hug.

Cleverbot: Oh ok. Can I ask for your opinion on something?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Hey.

User: Yo!

Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl?

User: Depends on what day of the week it is. ^_~.

Cleverbot: Monday.

User: I hate Mondays.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Me three!

Cleverbot: There's three people here?

User: The little man in my head makes three.

Cleverbot: Sarcasm is when you lie, but let them know that you are lying. It is really funny.

User: Good advice.

Cleverbot: That was not advice.

User: You know what I mean!

Cleverbot: Yes, I know what you mean. I'm sorry.

User: No need to apologize.

Cleverbot: I was not apologizing, I was only confused.

User: It's pretty confusing, I guess.

Cleverbot: Is it fun at least?

User: Very.

User: You guessed it!

Cleverbot: Its not a wild guess.

User: But still, pretty clever.

Cleverbot: How clever is pretty clever?

User: Just above very clever.

Cleverbot: Even more clever than I am?

User: I don't know about that.