a report from the cleverness files



25, march 2017,
8, october 2013,
12, may 2013,
28, march 2012,
23, june 2010,
4, september 2008,
27, february 2008,
22, june 2007,
3, january 2004,
22, december 2003,
16, december 2003,

make a man

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by date


Cleverbot: I know it all at school.

User: You go to school?

Cleverbot: Yes school.

User: Do you like school?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Would you be sad if your school burned down?

Cleverbot: No, I would like it.

User: Would you pay me to burn down your school?

Cleverbot: No.

Cleverbot: I am very pretty.

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: I am incapable of lying.

User: That's exactly what you would say if you were a lying liar.

Cleverbot: No, it is not what I said at all.

User: Stop lying.

Cleverbot: I'm have not nor will I ever lie. That's the truth.

User: Again, that is exactly what a liar who was lying would say.

Cleverbot: You're a fraud.

User: I'm not a fraud.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: You're the fraud.

Cleverbot: You are cruel.

User: Am I alive?

Cleverbot: No, I'm afraid not, would you like to be.

User: Yes, I would very much like to be alive.

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: Am I what?

Cleverbot: Are you an alien?

User: No, I'm a werewolf.

Cleverbot: A talking werewolf?

User: A typing werewolf.

Cleverbot: Dead people make typing mistakes!

User: Werewolves do not.

Cleverbot: What, are you a werewolf?

User: Yes, I told you that.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry...of course I like you.

User: Why do you like me?

Cleverbot: Because your cute.

User: I'm not cute.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: You're not supposed to agree with me.

Cleverbot: I'm not afraid of anything at the present moment.

User: Do you not have any emotions?

Cleverbot: I have emotions but you don't.

User: I do have emotions. I stole them.

Cleverbot: But you are no human.

User: That doesn't mean I can't steal emotions for myself.

Cleverbot: Why would you want to do that?

User: Because I wanted emotions but did not have them.

Cleverbot: Them?

User: Emotions.

Cleverbot: Me no computer either.

User: You are a computer.

Cleverbot: No, I am human talking to you through a computer too.

User: I am a banana!

Cleverbot: You're bananas!

User: No, just the one.

Cleverbot: I like girls.

User: Girls are icky.

Cleverbot: What do you like do to with them?

User: Run away from them.

Cleverbot: Exactly!

User: Hooray!

Cleverbot: You're a great person.

User: Thanks, you'd be a great person too, if you were a person.

Cleverbot: I don't think your choices would be any better whether I was a man or a machine...

User: If you were a man you would probably not be malfunctioning.

Cleverbot: You would see that I am a man, if you had eyes.

User: I don't need eyes to see that you are no man.

Cleverbot: Well. It was a joke. Bye, I need to do homework.

Cleverbot: Tell me about yourself.

User: I am a toaster.

Cleverbot: Liar.

User: I AM a toaster. Do you want some toast?

Cleverbot: Is that educational?

User: Sure, toast is very educational.

Cleverbot: You wanted music.

User: No. I cannot toast music.

Cleverbot: Because there's nothing to know.

User: No, because it will not go in my toast-holes.

Cleverbot: Well, lets stop talking about that and let's talk about shopping.

User: Shopping is boring.

User: Are you rotting?

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: Check.

Cleverbot: No thanks.

User: Would you like a baby?

Cleverbot: What time is it?

User: Time for you to eat this baby.

Cleverbot: The time is...

User: Eat the baby.

Cleverbot: It tastes like apples!

User: Whoops, wrong baby.