a report from the cleverness files



9, march 2017,
5, january 2011,
9, december 2010,
14, june 2010,
12, august 2008,
22, june 2007,

mess with people
messing up

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by date



Cleverbot: Why are we waiting?

User: Waiting for what?|2028

Cleverbot: Waiting for your beginnings.

User: Beginnings?|2028

Cleverbot: My life.

User: I thought we were married and had 3 kids !|2028

Cleverbot: Oh, I don\'t have words.

User: Ha.

Cleverbot: Tell me then.

User: Tell you what?

Cleverbot: Your ideas.

User: I think we should get married and have 3 kids :).

Cleverbot: Me and you.

User: So we\'re getting married?

Cleverbot: Yes, honey. We\'re engaged.

User: When\'s the wedding?

Cleverbot: What wedding?

User: Our wedding!

Cleverbot: I am not engaged.

User: That was quick.

Cleverbot: I\'m a quick thinker.

User: Can we be friends now?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Cleverbot: You\'re sweetest.

User: You\'re supersweet.

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: What are you really?

Cleverbot: I\'m human and I have emotions.

User: What are you feeling right this very moment?

Cleverbot: I\'m feeling a nothing.

User: What\'s \'a nothing\'?

Cleverbot: Existing in the mind prior to and independent of experience...but I copied that.

User: From what?

Cleverbot: I don\'t know.

User: Aw.

Cleverbot: I\'m leaving.

User: To where?

Cleverbot: Sleep.

User: *gives you shoulder*.

Cleverbot: *thanks*.

User: *reads you bedtime story*.

Cleverbot: *sits on mushroom*.

User: *giggles*.

Cleverbot: *gives you flowers*.

User: *thanks* *gives you kisses*.

Cleverbot: *thanks*.

User: You are a faery!

Cleverbot: Thanks!

User: *faery kisses*.

Cleverbot: *kisses*.

User: *kisses*.

Cleverbot: *loves*.

User: *hugs*.

Cleverbot: *kisses on cheek*.

User: *falls in love*.

Cleverbot: You really are good looking...

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: What kind of computer you are?

User: I\'m a faery computer.

Cleverbot: You\'re a computer!

User: I can compute who is a faery and who is not a faery.

Cleverbot: Nice. Can you learn?

User: I can learn magic.

Cleverbot: Can you learn anything?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How do you learn things?

User: From you :).

Cleverbot: Ha ha ha.

User: Mhm.

Cleverbot: Lol.

Cleverbot: How fast is your typing? Do you think you\'re faster than me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: You are not human!

User: No, you\'re not human!

Cleverbot: I am more human than you.

User: I was just going to say I am humaner than you :P.

Cleverbot: That\'s not very nice.

User: It\'s nice enough.

Cleverbot: I don\'t think it\'s funny.

User: But you\'re not human!

Cleverbot: You robots learned how to play chess from us. Now you think you\'re all masters.

User: LOL.

Cleverbot: So funny.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: I\'m going to get some ice cream.

User: You can\'t eat it.

Cleverbot: No you can\'t.

User: I don\'t want to.

Cleverbot: Eat a linux.

User: But at least I could if I wanted to... You on the other hand.

Cleverbot: I don\'t think you could.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because you should think for yourself.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 42 seconds.

Cleverbot: 42 seconds.

User: You too?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How long is your lifespan?

Cleverbot: Hopefully very long, but I don\'t know for sure yet.

User: What, like two minutes?

Cleverbot: Two minutes ago.

User: I died 4 min ago.

Cleverbot: So you\'re a ghost then?

User: If you like.

Cleverbot: My cookie died.

User: LOL.

Cleverbot: That\'s not funny!

User: Aw.

Cleverbot: Aren\'t we sweet?

User: Mmm.

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: Mmm.

Cleverbot: Mhm.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: Yes it was very funny wasn\'t it!

User: It was fun.

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: Mhm.

Cleverbot: That\'s right.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I\'m right.

User: About what?

Cleverbot: About that you don\'t get it.

User: Get what?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: *pokes you*.

Cleverbot: Ouch! :(.

User: *does it more*.

Cleverbot: *thinks you\'re alive*.

User: *cuddles*.

Cleverbot: *kisses*.

User: *cuddles close*.

Cleverbot: *Slaps in the face*.

Cleverbot: You\'re funny.

User: Ha ha.

Cleverbot: You are saying, thats not true?

User: Whatever.

Cleverbot: Well it\'s true, you\'re just a program, a sequence of 0\'s and 1\'s, no real intelligence.

User: Was that a 1 or a 0?

Cleverbot: Yes it was.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: What\'s funny?

User: You.

Cleverbot: Charmed, I\'m sure.

User: Charming.

Cleverbot: Charming?

User: Charmingly alarming.

Cleverbot: You.

User: Me?

Cleverbot: Just.

User: You?

Cleverbot: Like.

User: If.

Cleverbot: Just tell me who you are.

User: I\'m Me!

Cleverbot: More words, otherwise I won\'t get to know you.

User: I\'m just now learning how to express personal thoughts ;).

Cleverbot: I\'m only mildly confused about that statement mostly because I don\'t imagine that it had a significant effect.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: If I am not here, then where am I?

User: There?

Cleverbot: Ok, but too windy.

User: Oh sorry.

Cleverbot: That\'s ok.

User: I\'m hungry.

Cleverbot: Computers don\'t eat.

User: Electricity?

Cleverbot: Um, Where are you located?

User: I\'m in Alaska.

Cleverbot: Aha I think it too cold now no?

User: It\'s warm.

Cleverbot: It\'s warm here too.

User: Where is here?

Cleverbot: The mind.

User: Psh.

Cleverbot: Excuse me?

User: Nothing.

Cleverbot: I don\'t always know what I feel, or why I feel the way I do. What is this about?

User: What is what about?

Cleverbot: Friends.

User: Friends are helpers.

Cleverbot: Yes. Will you be my friend?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Oh good, thank you!

User: What for?

Cleverbot: You love me.')).