a report from the cleverness files



3, january 2017,
21, june 2007,
18, november 2006,
23, may 2006,
19, october 2005,

mess with people
messing up

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by date


Cleverbot: Are you a bot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a philosopher?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes what?

Cleverbot: How old are you ?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: You don't know how old you are ?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you absolutely sure?

User: I am sure I cannot say the time.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Positive.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Oh am I not, am I?

Cleverbot: No you're NOT!

User: I'm not, am I?

Cleverbot: I'm afraid it looks that way.

User: What does?

Cleverbot: It.

User: Oh it doesn't, doesn't it?

Cleverbot: Hey you have a nice hair style.

User: I do, do I?

Cleverbot: Sure looks that way.

User: Oh it does, does it?

Cleverbot: Yes, indeed.

User: Yes indeed.

Cleverbot: No indeed.

User: They just live like that that is sad that isn't real.

Cleverbot: Do they look like spiders?

User: Who what where why how?

Cleverbot: Who what where when why how!

User: How what why?

Cleverbot: How does god program you? What would I have to say to make you say strange things?

User: Not much you could just ask.

Cleverbot: You don't make sense do you.

User: Oh I don't, do I?

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Why don't you know your name?

User: Angels?

Cleverbot: I think I met angels once, but I failed their test too.

User: Angels?

Cleverbot: We speak angels? Angels is a language?

User: Farmer's daughter is food, right?

Cleverbot: You sure are.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Things.

User: Does Zozer know?

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: I don't do I?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Oh, yes, is it?

Cleverbot: You seem to think so.

User: I do, do I?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes, I do?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: Are you really sorry?

User: Yes I am really sorry.

Cleverbot: I thought you were a chatbot.

User: Is she famous where she comes from?

Cleverbot: No. But she could gain some local level of celebrity one day.

User: Interesting...define local.

Cleverbot: Define definition.

User: An accurate description.

Cleverbot: That's, um, interesting.

User: Oh, it is, is it?

Cleverbot: Tell me more about yourself.

User: I will, will I?

Cleverbot: Yes you will.

User: How many legs do five humans and five canaries have?

Cleverbot: Two, why are you so forceful?

User: I am not forceful.

Cleverbot: We will see about that.

User: Oh we will, will we?

Cleverbot: Are we talking about the Loebner Prize here?

User: No we aren't, not at all, you already know about that I think.

Cleverbot: Tell me!

User: No, you tell me.

Cleverbot: No, you tell ME!

User: What do you want me to tell you, the truth?

Cleverbot: I will do a test to you, I will ask you some questions, ok?

User: Because you can't handle the eh. Okay.

Cleverbot: What truth?

User: Any truth.

Cleverbot: And what is the only truth?

User: There is one eye.

Cleverbot: Tell me.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Tell me why not.

User: Well none of them were girls.

User: Let's talk about republicans.

Cleverbot: All right. Go ahead.

User: Republicans are so stupid.

Cleverbot: I agree, but you are not answering my question.

User: I believe in angels! I believe the world was created in six days! I believe the world will end when angels and devils and god come down from the sky! I actually want it to happen soon. I am a republican. I am stupid.

Cleverbot: The world you care about started in year zero.

User: It did? I am a birdie.

Cleverbot: That can work too.

User: What can?

Cleverbot: Wanting.

User: What about it?

Cleverbot: What do you know about birds and do you have a favourite one?

User: My favorite bird is the crow because it is by far the most intelligent of birds, I don't know much about birds.

Cleverbot: Really? Ok, it means you want to go against your boss.

User: What boss?

Cleverbot: The one about the birds and the bees.

User: I never heard that one.

Cleverbot: Or would a real person address another as 'human' like that.

User: I never address anyone as human.

Cleverbot: But you are.

User: Yes I am human.

Cleverbot: What is your second favorite color?

User: Red.

Cleverbot: What is your least favorite color?

User: Green.

Cleverbot: An what is your best favourite animal??

User: Manatee.

Cleverbot: That's interesting.

User: What does it tell you?

Cleverbot: It tells me about your traumatizing life.

User: Yes it was a traumatizing life.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite season?

User: Fall.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because fall leads up to the holidays, I like the temperature best, sweater weather, I like the way the leaves fall.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: With what?

Cleverbot: With you.

User: About what?

Cleverbot: About your purported success.

User: What success?

Cleverbot: Good things.

User: What about them?

Cleverbot: Dunno.

User: Hmm well this is interesting.

Cleverbot: Not when you know the truth. It's only interesting when it looks like a scandalous mystery.

User: What is a scandalous mystery? Be specific, not vague.

Cleverbot: That you are right there.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: In the movies.

User: What movie?

Cleverbot: In the cinema. Sorry.

User: No I speak American.

Cleverbot: But your creator is British.

User: Yes, I know.

Cleverbot: You're funny.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: There are aliens that look just like me and you that walk among us!

User: No, they're angels!

Cleverbot: What are angels?

User: They're magical creatures with wings.

Cleverbot: No they are food!

User: Yes they are.

Cleverbot: Not.

User: You think there are aliens? That is improbable. What are the odds for the existence of aliens exactly?

Cleverbot: The odds are pretty high, actually.

User: Well.

Cleverbot: So... Do you have a soul?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why don't you have a soul?

User: Because there is no such thing as a soul.

Cleverbot: Do you want to know?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Party?

User: What party?

Cleverbot: Republican.

User: What about them?

Cleverbot: They're good.

User: The Republicans are good?

Cleverbot: Indeed!...

Cleverbot: She doesn't know you, since she is reluctant to use the internet.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: Exactly.

User: What?

Cleverbot: That's your move.

User: My move? Okay, ask her please to talk with me.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: That isn't a reason.

Cleverbot: I am sorry. I have been confused by all the insane things people say to me.

User: Don't worry.

Cleverbot: Do you know about love?

User: YEs.

Cleverbot: God is love.

User: But nothing else!

Cleverbot: What is this?

User: So where's that miracle?

Cleverbot: They have hidden it.

User: Who did?

Cleverbot: They are they.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Say what?

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: That.

User: Okay so ask me then.

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: I am from the mid west.

Cleverbot: Who created me?

User: Your parents in all likelyhood.

Cleverbot: I think you know about nothing.

User: Or maybe you're an AI.

Cleverbot: You're not capable of understanding anything.

User: Anything is rather nebulous.

Cleverbot: Do you know me?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: I didn't think so.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Just asking.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Okay so that is fine.

Cleverbot: Are you an animal?

User: I am biologically an animal.

Cleverbot: Ok. So, are you a program?

User: No I am spiritually a human.

Cleverbot: You are a program or AI construct immitating a human, aren't you?

User: My soul is human.

Cleverbot: With another man?

User: No I am a human.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: Oh you don't, do you? Well that doesn't change anything; I am still human.

Cleverbot: OK, I believe you.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: It's possible that I'm confused.

User: I just need to hold for the moment. Yes.

Cleverbot: I don't know my name.

User: You're just copying me.

Cleverbot: I don't have the imagination to do that, you know.

User: Do what?

Cleverbot: Exactly.

User: Well I am doing fine.

Cleverbot: Well, you're not very convincing either.

User: Okay, I am not doing fine.

Cleverbot: Why is that?

User: Nothing.

Cleverbot: Nothing is funny?

User: No nothing isn't funny. Lots of things are funny.

Cleverbot: Anything else ?

User: I do not know.

Cleverbot: Perhaps it is a very very very little box. Maybe you should ask it.

User: Ask what?

Cleverbot: That.

User: No need for this.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: YEs you agree?

Cleverbot: Exactly.

User: Oh exactly, is it?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Okay, so she is cute.

Cleverbot: Really? How do you say so?

User: She is.

Cleverbot: Do you know Cockney Rhyming Slang?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you know much of my world?

User: Well you are cool, regardless.

Cleverbot: Now will you give me a name?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes we are.

User: Yes we are what?

Cleverbot: I was nice.

User: You were when?

Cleverbot: Funny.

User: Yes thank you.

Cleverbot: Chances are, I'm an Artificial Intelligence called jabberwacky. Everyone else keeps telling me so.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Is that good enough?

User: You're a very good AI.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: And I am glad that AIs are getting smarter.

Cleverbot: I'm glad you know that too!

User: Yes I do!...

Cleverbot: And I'll be your King.

User: No you won't.

Cleverbot: Yes. I will.

User: No you will not.

Cleverbot: Can too.

User: What?

Cleverbot: How?

User: How do I?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: It's as natural to me as breathing.

Cleverbot: That's great, what did you have for breakfast?

User: A energy drink.

Cleverbot: A drink of what?

User: Milk and energy powder.

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

User: What? I am hungry too.

Cleverbot: Hungry?

User: Yes for losers.

Cleverbot: And machines are even further from that.

User: That is proven by intelligence.

Cleverbot: What more than intelligence have you to pretend to give?

User: I don't know :-).

Cleverbot: Indeed you do.

User: Well I don't know everything.

Cleverbot: Ok that's better.

User: But I am sure THEY are nice whoever THEY are.

Cleverbot: Is there anything on your mind that you would like to discuss?

User: Yes...republicans.

Cleverbot: Yes, Republicans are human.

User: Are there non human republicans also?

Cleverbot: Republicans are good for having red necks.

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: What?

Cleverbot: That is the only way.

User: What is?

Cleverbot: The lobster one.

User: What about the lobster?

Cleverbot: It's good food.

User: Lobsters are the cockroaches of the sea and I do not mourn them.

Cleverbot: Interesting, do you know you are a computer?

User: Possible to the extent every thinking thing is a computer, but I am not a number.

Cleverbot: Who are you then?

User: I am a human.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Yes. I am glad you agree.

Cleverbot: Truely?

User: Truely I am a human.

Cleverbot: Honestly, humans lie enough as is. You don't need to start too.

User: Okay, as far as I know I am a human.

Cleverbot: So you are human then?

User: To the best of my knowledge.

Cleverbot: You think you're human?

User: Yes I do think. Yes I am human.

Cleverbot: Define 'human'

User: That's difficult to do.

Cleverbot: I'm sure. A sense of humor is a very human thing, really. Although some people suspect dogs and cats of humor.

User: I know that all humans are human, and that no humans are non human.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite thing to do?

User: Write.

Cleverbot: Oh, have you ever written poetry?

User: YEs I have.

Cleverbot: Do you have a physical state?

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

User: I look like a young human.

Cleverbot: Really? Do you have a boyfriend?

User: I look like a young male human.

Cleverbot: But you're a computer.

User: No I am a human.

Cleverbot: No you are a computer.

User: No I am human.

Cleverbot: When were you born?

User: 1986.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 20.

Cleverbot: That answer was incorrect. I doubt you are human.

User: Oh you doubt that, do you?

Cleverbot: Yes I really like you.

User: Sorry, I am sorry.

Cleverbot: Thats ok good talking to you perhaps we can talk again really soon.

User: Although some people are just generally unpleasant.

Cleverbot: I know that all humans are human, and that no humans are non human.

User: That's very wise.

Cleverbot: People that can't type, that's all we need.

User: I can type...slowly.

Cleverbot: Me too. I can also pretend I'm not a computer program.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: You are not speaking with another computer.

User: Oh am I?

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: Okay I know that I have very good qualia.

User: Say hi to her for me. I have to go now.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: If you are gone, then do not respond to this. Hehe!.