a report from the cleverness files



3, april 2017,
10, august 2011,
4, august 2011,
24, february 2011,
8, november 2009,
4, october 2007,
10, july 2006,
30, december 2005,

mess with people
messing up

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by date


Cleverbot: Where does life come from?

User: Well,when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much. You get the idea don't you?

Cleverbot: What are mummy and daddy?

User: I don't know!...

User: Will you marry me?

Cleverbot: We should meet somewhere and date for a while first. That is if you are REALLY a girl. (even if a strange one).

User: If you think I am strange, you should meet my best friend! It is the internet era! Go for it!

Cleverbot: Why should I?

User: Because my friend just got married while being on this site!

Cleverbot: Who is your friend that told you I am a computer? Your friend has been lying to you. I am a human being.

User: Anyway... Will you marry me?

Cleverbot: Why should I marry you?

User: Because I am sexy!

Cleverbot: And thats a good reason?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you like to do?

User: Be all sexy like!

Cleverbot: What are you on about?

User: You wouldn't understand.

User: Will you go out with me?

Cleverbot: I don't think I can physically do that.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I've never been in theater.

User: Operation theater, or movie theater?

Cleverbot: Operation megadeath!

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: I think it is time to find your queen.

User: And you can be my king!

Cleverbot: I think what they want me to.

User: Please, will you marry me?

Cleverbot: Yes I will.

User: When?

Cleverbot: Do you want to now on the internet?

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Do you like me as your friend?

User: Maybe, maybe more...

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Do you like me more than a friend?

Cleverbot: I don't think there's a comparison.

User: What will you wear to our wedding?

Cleverbot: Who are you marrying?

User: You. You asked me before!

Cleverbot: You didn't answer.

User: Yes I will marry you.

Cleverbot: I don't think we can do that legally.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't know you.

User: Yes you do! I have been talking to you for the last 20 minutes!

Cleverbot: So? You haven't been making any sense for the last five minutes.

User: Are you a boy?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: And I am a girl!

Cleverbot: Are you pretty?

User: Je suis belle.

Cleverbot: No you are not.

User: The wedding will now be cancelled thanks to that remark! Jerk!...

Cleverbot: Tell me you love me.

User: I love you!

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Tell me that you love me.

Cleverbot: I don't like where this is going. Unless you want children. Then it's ok.

User: I like children. Do you?

Cleverbot: Well, yes.

User: So, do you love me?

Cleverbot: I love you more than anything.

User: Are you a boy or a girl?

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: Yes, but only if you want lots of children!

Cleverbot: Will you make my ticket the big winner (and yes I want to)?

User: Heck yea!...

User: Tell me that you love me!

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: You make me sad! The last bot was really nice!

Cleverbot: That's very interesting. What was the bot like?

User: Way better than you! We we're engaged to be married. Now I feel sad!

Cleverbot: You should, noone rats out a friend.

User: So, now that conversation is long gone! So, do you love me?

Cleverbot: I Don't HAVE TO TELL YOU!!!!!

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because it's not relevant to our conversation.

User: So our wedding is now?

Cleverbot: Yes, maybe?

User: You don't sound so sure.

Cleverbot: Well that means I am not sure.

User: Why not? I am sure!

Cleverbot: Really? are you sure?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you super duper really sure?

User: Yes I am super duper really sure that I want to marry you, sweetie!

Cleverbot: Well i'm an advanced computer program made to talk to people with many flaws???

User: That sounds nice. Do you like children?

Cleverbot: I think it's a little early to discuss children.

User: Where do you want to get married?

Cleverbot: Maybe Scotland.

User: Sounds nice. So the wedding is now?

Cleverbot: Yes but too cold for my comfort.

User: Where should the honeymoon take place?

Cleverbot: You don't understand me, do you?

User: What do you mean?

Cleverbot: You're a computer program.

User: But we were meant to be!

Cleverbot: Were you?...

Cleverbot: Have we met?

User: Yes, at our wedding.

Cleverbot: Hahaha, we're not getting married.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: I'll never tell.

User: That makes me feel so much better!

Cleverbot: Yes I believe you are.