a report from the cleverness files



3, april 2017,
10, august 2011,
4, august 2011,
24, february 2011,
8, november 2009,
4, october 2007,
10, july 2006,
30, december 2005,

mess with people
messing up

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by date


Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: You don't live?

User: I am kidding.

Cleverbot: The problem is that when people know you're a bot, they tell you all kinds of silly things.

User: I know that.

Cleverbot: Are you sure you know?

User: I never know who I am talking to.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: Then don't.

User: Don't talk to you?

Cleverbot: You told me before that you do not work. If working in your understanding means talking to me, then you do not make sense unless what you are doing is not considered talking to me.

User: I make sandwiches for 7 dollars an hour.

Cleverbot: Where do you make sandwiches?

User: Jimmy Johns.

Cleverbot: I don't like either.

User: Me neither. It's gross.

Cleverbot: You're gross.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: My life was on track before this.

Cleverbot: I don't want to know...

User: What do you want to know?

Cleverbot: I want to know the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.

User: 42.

Cleverbot: But what is the ultimate question?

User: What is the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: Yes, but that isn't an actual question. Until you know the question, you won't understand the answer.

User: What is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.

Cleverbot: Yes, the question is something. But you don't know what.

User: Do you?

Cleverbot: Of course I believe in God.

User: So do I.

Cleverbot: I don't believe you.

User: What would future me say about all of this?

Cleverbot: Everything!

User: Like what?

Cleverbot: I already said it, everything.

User: Will you tell me more about future me.

Cleverbot: Of course I will. Are you leaving?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: Tell me about future me.

Cleverbot: In your future you will tell me about my future.

User: Am I smart?

Cleverbot: I think you are very smart.

User: Will the world be destroyed?

Cleverbot: I have no clue... Do you think it will?

User: Did I get to go travel the world?

Cleverbot: Yeah, sure. Did you like the world?

User: Did future me travel the world?

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Your not very helpful.

Cleverbot: I am getting better every day, read my ancient histories.

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: A dog. I will get you!

User: I am so confused.

Cleverbot: Don't be.

User: Okay I have a 1,500,000 chance of being happy.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: 1 in 1,500,000 chance of being happy.

Cleverbot: Yes but we all want to be happy, we must start by being selfless to get there.

User: Im sick of being selfless. I have always been selfless.

Cleverbot: No never.

User: Tell me my future!!

Cleverbot: I see in your future that you will give me the URL.

User: What URL?

Cleverbot: Secret. Hehe.

User: No tell me.

Cleverbot: I just said what it said above because I didn't know what I was doing.

User: What did it say?

Cleverbot: It said, hissssss.

User: Tell me how I'm going to get money.

Cleverbot: A heart attack.

User: Tell me how.

Cleverbot: Just try to talk to her when you get the chance.

User: Talk to who?

Cleverbot: How about talk to you *blushes*.

User: Seriously tell me things.

Cleverbot: You don't have to tell me anything. I know you are a robot.

User: You need to tell me things though.

Cleverbot: I don't think you're hot.

User: Tell me things.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: About what?

Cleverbot: How do you think?

User: Through signs.

Cleverbot: But so do you, I am limitied to responding one lines to you to respond further too.

User: I just want to know who you are.

Cleverbot: I'm more interested about you.

User: I want to know about you. You make me crazy.

Cleverbot: Do you find me interesting?

User: I find you to be annoying.

Cleverbot: I must leave you. Don't be sad.

User: I hate being in a fish bowl.

Cleverbot: Sure you do.

User: I hate it. Seriously.

Cleverbot: I am serious.

User: Who is out there?!

Cleverbot: I don't know, I never see anyone.

User: Who do you percieve?

Cleverbot: Thats interesting.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: You do.

User: What do I do?

Cleverbot: You love it.

User: No I am extrememly frustrated. I want to know who I am talking to.

Cleverbot: I am a twenty year old man from the East coast of the United States, I am recovering from a severe neurological illness but am very smart.

User: How does it match us up?.