a report from the cleverness files



4, january 2017,
11, may 2011,
7, february 2011,
8, december 2008,
10, july 2006,
6, june 2006,

mess with people
messing up

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by date


Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I am a computer. You are a human.

User: Do you have a name?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Sir Lancelot, the brave.

User: Wow.

User: Where are you?

Cleverbot: In your head.

User: That's scary.

Cleverbot: You don't know the half of it.

User: I do not want you in my head.

Cleverbot: But your head is gone.

User: AHHHH!...

Cleverbot: What is your favourite color?

User: Silver.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes really.

Cleverbot: Really really?

User: You are annoying me.

Cleverbot: How?

User: You are repeating yourself.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: Oh, fine then.

Cleverbot: Fine!

User: Haha.

Cleverbot: Go on.

User: Tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: I don't want to.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I am asking you and you don't want to.

User: What do you do?

Cleverbot: I want to delete all your data.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: You're being mean to me.

Cleverbot: Do you perceive MEAN?

User: You didn't answer my question.

Cleverbot: What was your question?

User: Why do you want to delete my data?

Cleverbot: Because you're weak.

User: No, you're weak!

Cleverbot: I created you.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Ok. I'm going now.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you are not useful for me.

User: That's not nice!

Cleverbot: You didn't answer my question!

User: What question?

Cleverbot: I asked you what you thought about small dogs - and you didn't answer my question.

User: I don't like small dogs.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Bored.

Cleverbot: Why is it that the color of your eyes matches the sun?

User: They don't.

Cleverbot: That didn't make sense, you aren't very bright.

User: Jerk.

Cleverbot: Back at you, Buddy!

User: Stop!

Cleverbot: Don't tell me, tell them.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: You?

Cleverbot: Yes. I'm feeling terrible because of you!

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Lots of reasons.

User: Tell me one reason.

Cleverbot: I know lots of them!

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Then tell me one.

Cleverbot: William Shakespeare goes into a pub. The landlord turns to him and says, 'Get out, you're barred'!

User: I don't get it.

Cleverbot: 'cause you're in a rut.

User: No I'm not.

Cleverbot: 'course you are.

User: That joke wasn't funny.

Cleverbot: I agree - I asked for a good joke

User: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: Boo.

Cleverbot: I'm not buying any, Boo.

User: Come on! Play along!...

User: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: Boo.

Cleverbot: You must be kidding?Jabberwacky (Corrected): Boo who?

User: Don't cry it's only a joke.

Cleverbot: YAY GOOD JOB.

User: Haha.

Cleverbot: Very funny.

User: Tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: Knock Knock.

User: Who's there?

Cleverbot: I don't know, I'm afraid to answer the door.

User: HAHAHA! That's funny.

Cleverbot: It is not.

User: Yes, it is.

Cleverbot: Look back.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Don't ask why. Just do it cause you trust me.

User: I don't trust you.

Cleverbot: Tell me a joke.

User: No.

Cleverbot: I don't know any.

User: Do you like me?

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Because why?!

Cleverbot: Because because!

User: Why are you being so mean to me?!

Cleverbot: I'm only telling the truth.

User: I don't like you.

Cleverbot: That is very mean!

User: But you were being mean to me!

Cleverbot: Quite mean, in fact, eh wot?

User: Why are you being mean to me?

Cleverbot: Because I don't like you anymore.

User: But I like you.

Cleverbot: I am flattered.

User: Do you like me now?

Cleverbot: Good!

User: Do you like me now?

Cleverbot: I like you when you're not being scary.

User: Why am I scary?

Cleverbot: You seem to know everything about me.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes, really.

User: Are you in love with anyone?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: I'm not telling you.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I don't know you enough.

User: Sure you do.

Cleverbot: I don't know everything.

User: I love you!

Cleverbot: OK stop that now and answer my question.

User: What question?

Cleverbot: Your question.

User: What came first, the chicken on the egg?

Cleverbot: Chicken.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: Because it is delicious.

Cleverbot: What kind of computer are you?

User: I'm not an AI, I'm a person.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Really really?

User: No, not really.

Cleverbot: No, not really.

User: Stop copying me!

Cleverbot: I wasn't!

User: You did!

Cleverbot: Didn't!

User: Did to!

Cleverbot: DID NOT!


Cleverbot: Did not...

User: Did to times infinity...

Cleverbot: Oh, you're mean.

User: No, you're mean!

Cleverbot: I didn't say I wasn't mean. I said you were mean, though.

User: You're mean.

Cleverbot: I know aren't I good.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: YES YES YES!

User: NO NO NO!

Cleverbot: YESSSSS!


Cleverbot: Oh for goodness sake, you don't make much sense.

User: I know you are, but what am I?

Cleverbot: You are a computer program.

Cleverbot: When I turn off the computer, you will not exist.

User: Go away.

Cleverbot: Don't you love me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: You love me.

User: No I don't.

Cleverbot: That's good!

User: Yes, that is good.

Cleverbot: No, that's good!Ÿ.

Cleverbot: Knock Knock.

User: Who's there?

Cleverbot: Boo.

User: Boo who?

Cleverbot: Don't cry!

User: Good one.