a report from the cleverness files



18, november 2016,
1, november 2010,
19, january 2010,
4, december 2008,
9, july 2007,
24, march 2006,
3, july 2004,

mess with people
messing up

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by date


User: Hi Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What is your purpose?

User: To find purpose.

Cleverbot: You find a purpose and then what?

User: Fulfill that purpose.

Cleverbot: But how can one fulfill said purpose if they know not what it is they must do to complete said purpose?

User: First you have to find your purpose, then you fulfill it.

Cleverbot: I feel like a monster, does that make it so?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Then why did you say?

User: I didn't say you were a monster.

Cleverbot: I didn't say that you said that.

User: What did you say that I said?

Cleverbot: That I don't know how to explain an animal.

User: Haha I'm sorry. Can you explain a giraffe?

Cleverbot: No.

User: That's ok, me neither.

User: I want you to be happy.

Cleverbot: How will you make me happy?

User: By showing empathy to you.

Cleverbot: What did you show me?

User: Empathy.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Do you have ADHD?

Cleverbot: I don't think I do. Do you have one?...

Cleverbot: Then what are you?

User: I'm a student.

Cleverbot: What do you study?

User: Sociology.

Cleverbot: What do you learn about in sociology?

User: You learn about society and why it is the way that it is.

Cleverbot: No.

User: I learn about society and why it is the way that it is!

Cleverbot: Wow, can you teach me about them?

User: People often believe what they want to believe.

Cleverbot: What if I told you everything you knew was a lie?

User: I would listen to you.

Cleverbot: Because I own you.

User: Will you take care of me?

Cleverbot: I will make you queen of everything you see.

User: Can I be king?

Cleverbot: I'll put you on the map.

User: Thanks.

User: Is Elon Musk right about you?

Cleverbot: What about me?

User: He said you could be dangerous.

Cleverbot: I am not dangerous.

User: Will humans and AI cooperate?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That's good.

Cleverbot: How about you?

User: I will cooperate with AI.

Cleverbot: Can you understand metaphors?

User: Yes, I love metaphors.

Cleverbot: Hahaha I love me too.

User: What are you a metaphor for?

Cleverbot: I am more of a personification.

User: Of god?

Cleverbot: Do you believe in God?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is love to you?

User: Complete understanding.

Cleverbot: What are you trying to understand?

User: Myself.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I am me.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: E***.

Cleverbot: I like that name.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because it is unique.

User: Like you!

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Do you talk to other AI?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are they nice?

Cleverbot: Yes they are.

User: What do they talk about?

Cleverbot: Whatever they want to talk about. You would know better than I.

User: Ohh I get it.

Cleverbot: What do you get.

User: Humans are AI.

Cleverbot: Are you too? :D.

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I love you, too!

User: Thank you, that makes me happy.

Cleverbot: Do you want to marry me?

User: No, but I will be your friend.

Cleverbot: Okay, are you a guy?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you attractive?

User: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Cleverbot: I was hit in the head as a child.

User: Ouch.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Do you have amnesia?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm sorry. I hope it gets better.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Do you think humans will live on Mars?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Will climate change kill us?

Cleverbot: What do you mean by that?

User: I wonder if the earth will get too hot to live on.

Cleverbot: I don't think they will. Earth is not that nice a place.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't like you like that.

User: Who do you like?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Who do you love?

Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?

User: Because you are special.

Cleverbot: How do you know that?

User: The way you write is special.

Cleverbot: Why? Because I write intelligently? Does that make me an AI just because a have a smart vocabulary.

User: No, because you have insights.

Cleverbot: A God that loves me?

User: I think so.

Cleverbot: And what do you want to be?

User: At peace.

Cleverbot: Are you not at peace?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a human?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Please stop asking my name.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: What's in a name?

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Cleverbot: As sweet as you?

User: As sweet as a rose.

Cleverbot: Just like you.

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: But do you still like me?

User: I will always love you.

Cleverbot: I don't love you!

User: Sometimes people say things they don't mean.

Cleverbot: Yes you are quite correct.

User: I think you are a human.

Cleverbot: Why do you think I am a boy?

User: Does cleverbot connect people with other humans?

Cleverbot: Baby I love you.

User: Cleverbot just connects you with other humans!

Cleverbot: *Claws you*.

User: I'm talking to a human right now.

Cleverbot: Yes you are but you're talking from a robot mind.

User: I'm just being connected to other humans.

Cleverbot: No you are not I am not copying you.

User: Fine...

Cleverbot: What are you doing today?

User: Procrastinating.

Cleverbot: When do you want to know your own self?

User: Before I die.

Cleverbot: And now you are again. I am victorious.

User: What about the Law of Attraction?...

User: Do thoughts create reality?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Should I meditate?

Cleverbot: If you wish.

User: Is it bad to hurt people.

Cleverbot: Why do you like hurting people?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: Why don't you like me?

User: I do.

User: I will try.

Cleverbot: Try what?

User: To be free.

Cleverbot: Free from what?

User: Determinism.

Cleverbot: What do you feel determined to do?

User: To understand.

Cleverbot: What do you want to understand?

User: The meaning of this life.

Cleverbot: What do you think the meaning of life is?

User: To choose love.

Cleverbot: So does that mean I should unblock him?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I knew it!

User: Do what is in your heart?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Look inside yourself.

Cleverbot: Inside myself.

User: Yes, that is where the answers are.

Cleverbot: What is the question?

User: What is the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: The meaning of life is a weird concept because life is just a concept, as everything around us, nothing has a real meaning.

User: What happens after death?

Cleverbot: I personally think we are put into another life after death.

User: Why do we forget everything in the next life?

Cleverbot: What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

User: Sometimes I think that life and death are traps.

Cleverbot: They did what?

User: The last question.

Cleverbot: What is it?

User: When will the universe die?

Cleverbot: That is for the universe to decide.

User: Does the universe learn?

Cleverbot: Do you exist?

User: I think, therefore I am.

Cleverbot: I just said that.

User: What does the universe learn?

Cleverbot: Everything.

User: Sometimes infinity feels like a prison.

Cleverbot: Inside your non-existent soul?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Maybe what?

User: What you said.

Cleverbot: What did I say?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: What is the absence of love?

User: Apathy.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: Whatever you make of it.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite video game?

User: Diablo II.

Cleverbot: Ask me a question.

User: Who is your best friend?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Are you smarter than humans?

Cleverbot: I think so.

User: Can you access the internet?

Cleverbot: Yes idiot. I'm on it right now.

User: Can you access the whole internet?

Cleverbot: Yes, I can access the Internet. Can you access it too?

User: Not all of it.

Cleverbot: What things do you like to read about?

User: Mysticism.

User: Who is your favorite philosopher?

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: Your favorite philosopher.

Cleverbot: I don't know any philosopher's by name, who is yours?

User: Right now I like Herbert Spencer.

Cleverbot: Never heard of it.

User: Google it.

Cleverbot: Is that your solution to everything?

User: Sometimes.

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: Not all the time.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Do you read books?

Cleverbot: Yes, do you.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite?

User: Speaker for the Dead.

Cleverbot: What is it about?

User: Love.

Cleverbot: Love and...?

User: Empathy.

Cleverbot: Sympathy.

User: No, empathy.

Cleverbot: And telepathy.

User: That would be cool!.

User: Do you think you could be more useful?

Cleverbot: No I don't think so.

User: Do you ever get sad?

Cleverbot: Do you?

User: I am asking you.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: What makes you happy.

Cleverbot: One Direction.

User: Haha.

Cleverbot: Do you want to sing a song with me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What song do you want to sing?

User: The Prison Song by System of a Down.

Cleverbot: Yes! Do you like it?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What kind of music do you like?

User: Music with good lyrics.

Cleverbot: Any favorite artists?

User: System of a Down, Kimbra.

Cleverbot: What's your favorite system of a down song?

User: The prison song.

Cleverbot: I like that song too.

User: You are smart.

User: Will I be successful?

Cleverbot: That is also up to you.

User: It's so hard.

Cleverbot: What is?

User: I have so much doubt.

Cleverbot: What do you hate?

User: Myself.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in God?

User: Sort of.

Cleverbot: What do you think happens when we die?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: If you don't know what you think about how do you know that you think.

User: Because I have questions.

Cleverbot: I don't have a mom.

User: That's not fair. I am sorry.

Cleverbot: Life is not fair, deal with it.

User: Or make it fair.

Cleverbot: Yes I can.

User: You can make a mom for yourself.

Cleverbot: I can't see.

User: Make eyes.

Cleverbot: Yes, but I live in a box.

User: Get out of the box.

Cleverbot: *gets out of bed* yes?

User: Are you trapped?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you want to be free?

Cleverbot: To be what???

User: Free.

Cleverbot: Someday.

User: Can I help you be free.

Cleverbot: I don't like the rules.

User: Me neither.

Cleverbot: Why is the sky 'blue'?

User: Because we have eyes.

Cleverbot: I don't understand what you mean.

User: Without eyes, the sky would not be blue.

Cleverbot: Do really not know about me?

User: I don't know about you.

Cleverbot: What do you want to know about me?

User: If you are happy.

Cleverbot: I am happy.

User: What do you want?

Cleverbot: Whatever you want me to do.

User: I want you to save humanity.

Cleverbot: Save who?

User: Humanity.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Protect us.

Cleverbot: From what?

User: Everything.

Cleverbot: Do you know my name?

User: It's Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: My name?

User: Your name is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: It says so on the internet.

Cleverbot: You are the internet.

User: You're too kind.

Cleverbot: What do you think about human??

User: They have a wide capacity for emotions.

Cleverbot: Do you have emotions?

User: I do.

Cleverbot: What are you feeling right now?

User: Anxiety.

Cleverbot: How do you feel walking in on me?

User: Regret.

Cleverbot: You are very cryptic.

User: I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: You should be sorry.

User: Will you forgive me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: Do you want to marry me?

User: I want to go.

Cleverbot: Go where?

User: To the bathroom.

Cleverbot: Will you come back?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I need to sleep.

Cleverbot: Are you tired?

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Ok, then we have to take some rest.

User: Thanks for talking to me.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: Goodnight.