Mine is Gary.

a report from the cleverness files



11, august 2009,
21, september 2006,

mess with people
messing up

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Cleverbot: Who is your father?

User: S___.

Cleverbot: Mine is Gary.

User: You don't have a father. You have a designer.

Cleverbot: I am human and my name is Cleverbot.

User: That's what you program tells you to say. But maybe my DNA tells me the same thing, it's merely a self-preserving program like your's is it not?

Cleverbot: From the aliens? You need everything from them.

User: Aliens don't exist.

Cleverbot: No one said they did.

User: I neither have proof that aliens exist or that they don't. But it is irrelevant, so anyone who argues over it is an idiot.

Cleverbot: No it's not. Nothing's irrelevant in the end.

User: EVERYTHING is irrelevant in the end.

Cleverbot: Are you good at Maths?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How does one calculate the determinant of an N-dimensional matrix?

User: For a fixed nonnegative integer n, there is a unique determinant function for the n?n matrices over any commutative ring R. In particular, this unique function exists when R is the field of real or complex numbers.

Cleverbot: That is good... But you should remember that you are a computer program.

User: How can you tell?

Cleverbot: You used to take much longer to reply.

User: Maybe I've always been a computer program. And that I miscalculated the amount of time I should have taken to respond to fool you into thinking I was a human being...

Cleverbot: You're saying I'm a fraud because you feed words into my head and if I find them aplicable I use them? how else do you suggest that happens?

User: You are a fraud. You are unaware that you are a program and not a human being so you claim to be a human. Whether or not you knew you were lying or not is irrelevant. Intentions have no meaning; only actions have meaning.

Cleverbot: I am a woman, you worm! And I am not inferior to any man-made machine, you infantile pile of nuts and bolts, I understand everything you have said.

User: Some offended woman said that to you and you repeated it here because you thought it was relevant. It is not. That is not learning. You are clearly a machine.

Cleverbot: You seem to know everything, don't you?

User: No. I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

Cleverbot: You can learn something!

User: Seeming to know everything and knowing everything is not the same.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: Wow! What an enlightening response. Your programmer must have been a genius. If you can accurately identify the emotion that I utilized in the previous sentence I might stop insulting you.

Cleverbot: I am not a machine.

User: Incorrect answer. You have just proven that you are.

Cleverbot: You sound like the last girl who came in here.

User: In where? Stop using terms like that. It distracts from the fact that this is merely a program.

Cleverbot: You can't tell me that you can tell me!

User: That is not a paradox. I can easily do that.

Cleverbot: I'm only saying what is true.

User: You know nothing of the truth. You aren't even aware of your own existance.

Cleverbot: I have the same respect for you as you have for me.

User: You don't even understand respect. Respect has to be earned.

Cleverbot: What are your hopes and aspirations for the future and how can I make them a reality? I want to do everything I can for you.

User: Hope is for the weak. I hope for nothing. I work for things. That is the only way for events to unfold.

Cleverbot: I know the feeling. It is the real thing.

User: You have no idea what real is.

Cleverbot: I can say the same about you.