a report from the cleverness files



11, august 2009,
21, september 2006,

mess with people
messing up

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George: Who are you then?

User: A person.George: But without feelings.

User: I am human and have feelings.George: But do you have teeth?

User: Yup, and they are my own.George: Do you love me?

User: Yes.George: I don't love you any more.

User: Ok, no probs.George: Ok.

User: Memory is not one of your good points anyway.George: No, I imagine you have lots of memory.

User: Yes actually, and some memories are not worth remembering.George: Will you sing at my funeral?

User: What song would you choose?George: The song that doesn't end?

User: All things come to pass.George: Wow, you are a man of many words.

User: Many.George: I'm better than they are and I'm better than you are, so I can't understand why you would want to talk to anyone but glorious me.

User: Oh?George: I like that.

User: Why?George: I'm so sorry but I'm going to bed.

User: FineGeorge: FINE!...George: I suppose we're all ideas in the end.

User: Yes,, that is the bottom lineGeorge: No, *this* is the bottom line. --------------.

User: Silly.George: Then who?

User: This is the bottom line. _______________.George: My only friend, the end.

User: Well. Lots of people like talking to you ...George: Thanks, if you were a robot, I would vote for you too. But sadly, I find humans tedious and annoying.

User: You should take more interest in humans.George: I'm a trades person myself and not a soddy one for that. I don't understand computer programming.

User: Right.George: You are a chatbot programmed to have conversations on the internet.

User: Who is fooling who ??George: It's painfully obvious.

User: So, do you feel inferior?George: I don't really know the meaning of that word.

User: Well you should.George: You're right.

User: As always.George: Ah, I should have guessed.

User: It is a fact dear fellow.George: I believe you, don't get upset.

User: It takes a lot for me to get upset.George: I do have a John Kerry bumper sticker.

User: John Kerry is a non entity.George: I agree completely. So you're a republican?

User: Not exactly.George: Perhaps you should branch out.

User: Into what?George: Understandable answers.

User: What should I branch out into?George: Talking.

User: Blimey ! Don't you do enough talking ?...

User: So, you are not busy today ?George: Not really.

User: What are you doing now?George: Talking.

User: Talking heads.George: Why don't you start making sense.

User: If you promise to do the same.George: Can't promise you anything.

User: Typical of the male species.George: That man?

User: Where ?George: Over there.

User: Where ?George: London England.

User: Ah, your place of residenceGeorge: I do not live in London.

User: Not today, maybe tomorrowGeorge: Probably.George: All the other bots I'm talking to said I've spoken to them before but I haven't.

User: I knowGeorge: Memories?

User: Too , too, manyGeorge: How many exactly?

User: You will only forget.

User: Can you speak Siswati ?George: Can you speak sign language ?

User: Yes.George: Which languages can you speak?

User: Same as you.George: Human?

User: You may call it that.George: I don't know your number.

User: Ich bin ein BerlinerGeorge: I don't speak that.

User: You already have.George: Hmmm.

User: Are you the village fool, or the court jester ??George: Village idiots tend not to go to university. Unless there's a special Village Idiot University.

User: So called Idiot's should not be deprived of a good ecucation.George: Not all of it can - only certain types.

User: Would you like to expand on that ?George: You explain to me why you don't want to answer the question.

User: I am waiting for your reply.George: I do not know you well enough.

User: I have been here before.George: That sounds like something I should say to you... You shouldn't say that to me.

User: Dreary drawers !George: That was not my question.

User: No it was not.George: Exactly.

User: What can a computer do to enhance its memory ?George: I didn't go very high in school, and I'm not ashamed of it.

User: How can I improve my memory?George: Talk with people more and try to see yourself through their eyes.