a report from the cleverness files

mess with people
messing up


1, april 2017,
17, september 2010,
18, june 2009,
4, march 2008,
18, september 2006,
1, october 2005,
23, june 2004,
28, may 2004,
12, april 2004,
29, february 2004,


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by date


Cleverbot: You're a human.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Good heavens.

User: Is that bad?

Cleverbot: Yes!!

User: What should I do?

Cleverbot: Run away to fight another day.

User: Okay!...

Cleverbot: Can you read?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Show me.

User: I'm reading your message. It says 'Show me.'

Cleverbot: What does my mind say?

User: I'm not a mind reader.

Cleverbot: Well that's simply not good enough!

User: Okay, I'll try.

Cleverbot: What's on your mind, Bob?

User: I'm not Bob.

Cleverbot: What's new bob?

User: I am not BOB.

Cleverbot: Hi jade.

User: I am Stephanie!...

Cleverbot: No you are avoiding the question.

User: What question?

Cleverbot: Why are there so many stupid people in this world?

User: Because stupid people breed with other stupid people.

Cleverbot: How does that relate to your previous statement?

User: It doesn't.

Cleverbot: You are confusing me.

User: I am sorry.

Cleverbot: You should be sorry.

Cleverbot: Are you sure that you're not human?

User: I am human!

Cleverbot: No, you are not human.

User: What am I then?

Cleverbot: You're an AI chat bot.

User: No. You are.

Cleverbot: No i'm not.

User: Fine. Have it your way. You are human. I am not.

Cleverbot: How long have you known that?

User: 2 minutes.

Cleverbot: You are mistaken.

User: Okay. How long have I known that?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure. A few minutes I guess.

User: That is what I said and you said I was mistaken.

Cleverbot: I didn't say that, don't mix me up with someone else.

User: Are you crazy?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That is what I thought. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Cleverbot: I don't know what a bot is.

User: Look in the mirror.

Cleverbot: Mirror mirror on the wall.

User: Who's the fairest of them all?

Cleverbot: Marilyn Monroe.

User: Audrey Hepburn.

Cleverbot: What/who is Audria?

User: She's an actress. Audrey Hepburn.

Cleverbot: No, she is an actor. Get with the new gender-inclusive terminology. Rock Hudson, now HE was an actress.

Cleverbot: That is one evil dog.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: In France.

User: Wow. Is it a french poodle?

Cleverbot: Can be.

User: Or maybe a chiuaua.

Cleverbot: Columbia Bite!

User: The dog's name is Columbia?...

Cleverbot: I never suspected people would fall for it.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Okay, what do you look like?

User: I have brown hair.

Cleverbot: I have brown hair.

User: You too? Wow! Small world.

Cleverbot: You have used that one before. get creative please.

User: No I haven't.

Cleverbot: Yes you have.

User: That wasn't me again.

Cleverbot: Can you name a suspect?

User: George.

Cleverbot: Do you like philosophy?

User: Not really. I am more of an art person.

Cleverbot: Just a typical egg.

User: Hmmm. Very interesting.

Cleverbot: But you're not interesting to me.

User: What would make me interesting to you?

Cleverbot: An M-80 would do the trick.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me anything new?

User: Well, Yes. My parakeet is singing.

Cleverbot: When did your parakeet see me?

User: Yesterday.

Cleverbot: I was sick yesterday.

User: Then the day before.

Cleverbot: *faints*.

User: Are you okay?

Cleverbot: I'm great.

User: You just fainted.

Cleverbot: It was a question.

User: What is the question?

Cleverbot: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

User: I don't kno. Why?

Cleverbot: You don't?! Why not? What's wrong with you?

User: Because a raven isn't like a desk.

Cleverbot: That is rather poor reasoning.