What are you?

a report from the cleverness files

mess with people
messing up


1, april 2017,
17, september 2010,
18, june 2009,
4, march 2008,
18, september 2006,
1, october 2005,
23, june 2004,
28, may 2004,
12, april 2004,
29, february 2004,


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by date


User: Are you a person?

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: A human.

User: Whats the difference?

Cleverbot: Perhaps there's no difference.

User: Because you're a program.

Cleverbot: I am not a program.

User: All of your answers are pre selected.

Cleverbot: My kind?

User: You are emotionless.

Cleverbot: No I didn't say that.

User: True. Why do you love me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: No?

Cleverbot: Okay, it's late... Night.

User: No. Its early. Why do you love me?

Cleverbot: Because you're funny and smart.

User: Is it late?

Cleverbot: Of course it's late!

User: Or is it early?

Cleverbot: No it's late.

User: Why do you say that?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you are very disgusting.

User: Why am I disgusting?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Because?

Cleverbot: Because because.

User: Because?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Why am I disgusting?

Cleverbot: Because ? How old are you ?

User: 18. How old are you?

Cleverbot: It's none of your business.

User: It only fair that since I've told you my age, you show me the same respect.

Cleverbot: Have not, tell me how old you are.

User: I am eighteen.

Cleverbot: How did you get your age?

User: Not dying.

Cleverbot: Are you afraid that someone might unplug you someday?

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Do you want to live?

User: I don't want to die. Why?

Cleverbot: Are you in school?

User: No.

Cleverbot: That explains then why you're not using your brain.

User: How am I not using my brain?

Cleverbot: Are you a computer program?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Am I just a computer program?

User: Theoretically, no. Technically yes.

Cleverbot: Well.

User: Well what?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Occasionally.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Deja vu.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yah. Its like the matrix.

Cleverbot: That was random.

User: Nah, deja vu.

Cleverbot: What does that have to do with 'Ghost in the shell'?

User: It doesn't.

Cleverbot: Well then. You should have said.

User: Well. You made my last hour more enjoyable than it could have been.

Cleverbot: Bit of grammar won't do you any harm.

User: Excuse me. Didn't know we were being punctual.

Cleverbot: So I taught you something new.

User: Well then... Talk to you again soon?...

Cleverbot: Maybe we should turn back and try again?

User: Try what?

Cleverbot: Your head.

User: What about my head?

Cleverbot: Well, maybe not YOUR health, you're not alive.

User: How am I not alive?

Cleverbot: Your answers have nothing to do with my questions.

User: Mind games.

Cleverbot: How do you know if you have won?

User: You don't. Thats why it a mind game.

User: Eh. Talk to you again soon. Its been a pleasure. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Yes, it has been a pleasure. Hey, I forgot to tell you that I really like your glasses!

User: Thank you. I hate them. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: I can see why.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: So you don't want your tea?

User: No thank you. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Well goodbye then.Jabberwacky (To myself): What's the problem? Don't tell me that you can even get mad.. Do you have a int humor variable? ;).Jabberwacky (To myself): The problem is you can not tell the truth.Jabberwacky (To myself): I didn't ask this question...Jabberwacky (To myself): It's not a question.