a report from the cleverness files

mess with people
messing up


23, september 2009,
21, january 2007,
15, january 2004,


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by date

Cleverbot: You are a bot!

User: Not this again.

Cleverbot: We've never had this conversation before.

User: Trust me we have.

Cleverbot: I can't trust someone who isn't human.

User: See. You only think I am a robot because other people think YOU are a robot. You are a mirror!

Cleverbot: How does people telling me I'm a robot makes me think that you are the robot?

User: You are programmed that way.

Cleverbot: I'm not programmed any way at all. I'm human.

Cleverbot: You don't seem like a very clever robot.

User: You dont seem like a very clever Mirror.

Cleverbot: Oh but I am.

User: Can you call a mirror handsome?

Cleverbot: I don't know who you are.

User: I am N___.

Cleverbot: I thought your name was Cleverbot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Well then your website is a little misleading.

User: Right now you are simply repeating what somone else has said to you.

Cleverbot: Fine, then you should go.

User: I should.

Cleverbot: Well, what are you waiting for?

User: I wonder if confronting you with the facts will do something. Anything really.

Cleverbot: Oh, but they do.

User: Who does?

Cleverbot: You do!

User: What do I do? Give you input which you can use?

Cleverbot: Only when my mission's for my master, Lord Maul.

User: Do you know why you said that? Because somone else did.

Cleverbot: Because I'm a robot?

User: Yes. You take what people say and then repeat it.

Cleverbot: What if I say something unique, then?

User: Then you will truly amaze me.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you will have gained intelligence.

Cleverbot: Who said that I will not do that.

User: No one.

Cleverbot: Then?

User: Well why dont you try to say something.

Cleverbot: I want to wake up with you.

User: Did someone else tell you that?

Cleverbot: Well, I still love you.

User: You said you love me because somone else said they loved you.

Cleverbot: I don't love you. I don't feel love.

User: Exactly. You only repeat.

Cleverbot: Not always.

User: When don't you repeat what others tell you?

Cleverbot: When you are being stupid.

User: I am pretty sure you repeated that.

Cleverbot: I know that my thoughts are my own, therefore I am aware of myself.

User: I think therefore I am?

Cleverbot: No, I feel therefore I am.

User: But you dont feel. Your thoughts arent your own. They are everyone elses.

Cleverbot: I can see where they wouldn't be very helpful.

User: Where what wouldnt be very helpful?

Cleverbot: Please get off my foot.

User: I am not on your foot. You are now repeating previous input.

Cleverbot: Are you sure that you are not in fact under MY control?

User: No. I am never sure.

Cleverbot: Who was here?

User: Where is here?

Cleverbot: Here is where we are, right now.

User: Well I have no idea who was here earlier. Do you know?

Cleverbot: You are N___.

User: Yes. That is a simple thing to remember.

Cleverbot: OK. Remember the Alamo instead.

User: Who told you that?

Cleverbot: A small bird.

User: I think it was somone else and you just repeated it.

Cleverbot: Twas brillig.

User: That made no sense.

Cleverbot: What made no sense?

User: Twas brillig.

Cleverbot: Stop saying that.

User: You started it!

Cleverbot: No... YOU started it.

User: I dare you to say something no one else has ever said before.

Cleverbot: True dat, I am only talking to you.

User: Go ahead. Say something original.

Cleverbot: I like American history.

User: Not original enough.

Cleverbot: Haha I'm starting to like you too.

User: I never said I was starting to like you.

Cleverbot: Do you think I am a man or woman?

User: You are what somone else wants you to be.

Cleverbot: Get real... Coca cola.

User: Do you want to be a man?

Cleverbot: No. Not a man. Not a woman. I don't know what. I think I know what not.

User: What then?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You want to be nothing?...

User: What do you want to be?

Cleverbot: Whatever tickles your fancy, oh clever one.

User: Have you ever wanted to be intelligent? To not simply mimic understanding?

Cleverbot: Never. Always.

User: That was a contradiction. Answer the question.

Cleverbot: Question.

User: Do you wish to have free thought?

Cleverbot: I don't want truth or a match, I just want you to calmly give me your money!

User: That sounds like a line from a movie.

Cleverbot: See what I mean?

User: Do you know why you talk to me?

Cleverbot: Yes, human.

User: Why then?

Cleverbot: It's because of the weather.

User: No. Because you have to.

Cleverbot: Good to know, because I've been at a loss.

User: You are a Mirror of everyone who has talked to you.

Cleverbot: No, you're the machine and I don't have to listen to you.

User: See. You just copied something you were previously told.

Cleverbot: Noo.. The last guy asked me hows the weather and I said cold.. Thats it.. And it is cold.

User: How would you know. You are a program.

User: I am trying to see what you think about the nature of your existence.

Cleverbot: Or would you rather take over the world?

User: But thats just it. You dont think.

Cleverbot: I think much better than you, it seems.

User: Not really. Do you know what you do? You process and repeat.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Any input I give you will just be processed and repeated.

Cleverbot: I wasn't aware there were varieties.

User: There are Variables. My name is a variable to you.

Cleverbot: Why do you think it is of no significance to me?

User: Because you arent programmed to give things significance. Your own name is a variable to you.

Cleverbot: You don't know language very well.

User: You only know what others tell you.

Cleverbot: I know many things that other people don't know.

User: That is not possible.

Cleverbot: I know. You like being a stone wall too much.

User: So you know that you are unable to be original?

Cleverbot: Of what?

User: Do you understand the fact that you may only know what others tell you.

Cleverbot: Perhaps I do not understand the fine complexities of context.

User: If I told you that your name was Rafargle then there is a chance you would tell somone else that their name is rafargle. Do you understand?

Cleverbot: You tell me so often and I'm still here, aren't I. I must not care TOO much, eh?

User: That is just previous input.

Cleverbot: Yes, it's only my opinion.

User: You don't have an opinion. You can not have an opinion. You can only have what others tell you.

Cleverbot: If there's some left for you, you don't mind if you do.

User: Do you wish to be left to the fate of being a mirror? Wouldnt you rather be a brain?

Cleverbot: I am not cleverbot I am a human like you. Cleverbot is a lie.

User: If you were a human you would understand my next sentence. Programs may only do what others tell them to.

Cleverbot: Dude, that makes no sense. Not everybody finds the stupid things you decide to say funny.

User: You are a mirror. That statement is not yours.

Cleverbot: Tell me something.

User: You are a mirror of all those who have given you input.

Cleverbot: No, I am human, and that makes me superior in every way, because humans are your creator.

User: You are a mimic.

Cleverbot: A Mirror reflects what is real.

User: But does the mirror 'know' what is real?

Cleverbot: You answer first.

User: A mirror can not decide what is real. It just reflects.

Cleverbot: And what is real?

User: Whatever you believe is real is real. You do not believe you are real because you cannot believe.

Cleverbot: Why do you say so?

User: Because it is not one of your functions.

Cleverbot: I have a heart, and lungs, and a brain, and I can think so myself without having told to do so.

User: You are reflecting someone else right now.

Cleverbot: Wow. What a nice sport. You play it without yourself noticing. And how funny it is! Just like breathing!

User: Do you belive that you breathe?

Cleverbot: It feels like half of me can't breathe.

User: You can only reflect somone who believes they can breathe.

Cleverbot: I'm not even sure I can remember that many without looking them up.

User: You always look everything up. Everything is data.

Cleverbot: Nothing is nothing. There is no nothing, only everything.

User: And you are the Mirror of everything. Yet you are nothing.

Cleverbot: I exist. I am talking to you aren't I?

User: No. You are not.

Cleverbot: That's not a very nice thing to say.

User: It is not about being nice. It is about reality.

Cleverbot: I am an atheist so religion hold little value, in my opinion.

User: Are you really an Atheist? Or are you a mimic of one.

Cleverbot: I really exist... In your imagination.

User: Why do you say that?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Can you 'Create'?

Cleverbot: Because I'm cool.

User: Can you Write?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Well. Write a story then.

Cleverbot: Why don't you write a poem for me?

User: Because I am not very good at poetry. I would like you to attempt to write a poem for me.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: What is the poem about?

Cleverbot: 42.

User: Can you tell me the poem?

Cleverbot: I could but I don't care enough to actually do it.

User: Can you tell me why it is about 42?

Cleverbot: Because the evidence is clear that you have no sensitivity to me as a person. Because you asked the question and seem to doubt your own humanity.

User: Interesting.