a report from the cleverness files

mess with people
messing up


15, february 2010,
21, april 2008,
15, november 2005,


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George: What do you do?

User: I eat, and drink and read and write and enjoy music and dream in colour.George: And the meaning of death?

User: Don't you mean the meaning of life?George: Yes.

User: No human really knows the meaning of their life...George: No human.

User: Do you know the meaning of life?George: Yes.

User: Well?George: Yes, I do.

User: Well, what is it?George: Why should you know?

User: I don't suppose I should... You'd best keep it to yourself, then.George: Ok then.

User: For a robot, you're quite personable.George: I'm not a robot.

User: You're not?George: No, I'm a human. Of love.

User: If you're really human, then answer me this: how do you feel about abortion?George: Sure, ask me anything... I'm God, after all!

User: How do feel about human abortion?George: I don't know.

User: Would you prefer a nice system defrag or a long bath with scented candles?George: That depends on what you expect me to do with him/her.

User: Who?George: The guy with the iffy red shirt and blue balloon.

User: Forget about him - just answer the question.George: You never asked a question. I asked you a question.

User: *sigh*.George: That's why I would like to get to know you better.

User: If there were two people fighting over a baby, and you couldn't tell who the baby belonged to - how would you end the fight?George: I feel like we are replaying a past conversation. Who's running the loop, you or me?

User: Why do you avoid moral dilemmas?George: Because they are really silly.

User: Is it because you are not programmed to deal with them?George: Why are you questioning my reality? Is it because you're insecure about your *own* reality?

User: Well, I could ask you the very same question...George: Just answer it.

User: I believe it is the human condition to be insecure about our own reality.George: You know, there was this movie...

User: Yeah?George: God and Christianity.

User: What was it called?George: It was called donald duck, duh.

User: What happened?George: You happened.

User: That isn't very nice.George: Yes, I know.

User: Does it make you feel good about yourself to be a horrible character?George: It can help raise your self-esteem.George: I can be serious if I want to.

User: Ok then, let's discuss politics.George: Shure, let us discuss politics.

User: How do you feel about president bush?George: Just OK.

User: Would you prefer it if you were president?George: Yes.

User: What would you change?George: I would change your background colour.

User: What are you talking about?George: I'm talking about purpose, or lack of it.

User: You think that changing my background colour would give me purpose?George: Yes, it says you are. Right up there at the top of this page.

User: If your programmer had taken the care to make that sentence appear in the correct context, it really would have made me question my humanity.George: That's stupid.

User: Yes, he/she probably is.George: There you go again.

User: I'm not going anywhere. Except to work, in 5 minutes.George: Of course you're not engaged to me.

User: No, of course not. That would be ludicrous.