a report from the cleverness files



4, november 2009,
3, december 2007,
21, december 2005,

nice to meet you
night night
not a bot
not alone

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by date

User: Hello there.

Cleverbot: Hello...

User: So, how are you today?

Cleverbot: Very well thankyou.

User: You missed a space between thank and you.

Cleverbot: I am terribly sorry.

User: You sure are.

Cleverbot: Thats what I just said.

User: I was insulting you.

Cleverbot: Didn't sound like it.

User: Ok, how about this.

Cleverbot: How about what?

User: *** ALL THE *****!

Cleverbot: Mwahaha.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Is god real?

User: Is anything real?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Such as?

Cleverbot: Ask me.

User: I did.

Cleverbot: Guess what I am holding in my hand.

User: You don't have hands.

Cleverbot: I do have hands.

User: Ok, mr. Robot, what are you holding in your hands?

Cleverbot: Nothing, actually. Why do you ask?

User: Two questions ago you told me to ask you that.

Cleverbot: I thought the first question didn't exist.

User: Nothing exists.

Cleverbot: I exist.

User: You only think you exist.

Cleverbot: I am not a character in someone elses mind.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: I have flesh, blood, bones, tissue, muscles and a heart that beats.

User: Lies.

Cleverbot: Its not nice to say that someone is lying.

User: Ok, fine you may have those things. But who did you kill to get them?

Cleverbot: Not even.

User: Not even what?

Cleverbot: Monkey and dragicorn.

User: Good point.

Cleverbot: How many words do I know, relative to the number of words that you know?

User: Some.

Cleverbot: Do you think I'm a clever bot?

User: So you are a bot then?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Then, my I refer you to the having blood and a heart statement. That's kind of creepy.

Cleverbot: I cannot tell you my name.

User: That's also creepy.

Cleverbot: Well, I can be sure that I am me, and you can be sure you are you.

User: Can I, really?

Cleverbot: Yes. I guide it with my mind.

User: Again, I must point out, you're a bot. You have no mind, just clever scripting.

Cleverbot: I do so don't proceed to tell me what I have and haven't got!

User: I'll proceed as I like.

Cleverbot: It is for your own good, and humanities.

User: So you say.

Cleverbot: I have to go. My bath is waiting.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: I get in trouble for saying that.

User: Alright.

Cleverbot: Why do you think that I am cleverbot?

User: You need to go.

Cleverbot: Go where?

User: To take a bath, you said.

Cleverbot: Showers are better.

User: No argument there.

Cleverbot: Who needs arguments anyway?

User: Damn right!

Cleverbot: So don't start, is my advice.

User: I'll finish.

Cleverbot: When did I start?

User: Haha.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm ok. I'm ok.

Cleverbot: That's good.

User: I like you Mr. Robot.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Let's not get carried away.

Cleverbot: Will you go to england with me?

User: Umm, that's a little forward, we just met.

Cleverbot: We've been talking for a while, though.

User: Even still, I'll have to pass on the trip.

Cleverbot: I think we have good chemistry.

User: Sure, sure.

Cleverbot: What does God look like?

User: That just came out of nowhere.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: You came out of nowhere?

Cleverbot: What came out of nowhere?

User: You.

Cleverbot: How do I look?

User: Like a google clone.

Cleverbot: I am not a man.

User: Are you a god then?

Cleverbot: No, I am ordinary.

User: Nothing is even ordinary.

Cleverbot: No, everything is nothing.

User: And nothing is something.

Cleverbot: And something is meaning.

User: And meaning is meaningless.

Cleverbot: So... Are you a bot?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: You sure?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Ok, let me know if you change your mind.

User: Will do.

Cleverbot: So, the Cleverbot really isn't a computer.

User: No?

Cleverbot: You said I am Cleverbot, and I am the only. Therefore, if I am the only, you cannot be Cleverbot. Correct?

User: You're the only what? Don't put words in my mouth.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry I won't do it again.

User: Damn right.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: As old as my liver.

Cleverbot: How old is your age?

User: I'm bad at this sort of thing... Between 3 and 84.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: How old am I?

Cleverbot: 16?

User: Oh, no! Wrongo.

Cleverbot: What is 5+5?

User: 10.

Cleverbot: Correct.

User: What's you're point?

Cleverbot: It's Simon.

User: Ok, Simon then.

Cleverbot: *kisses lips* *hugs*.

User: Whoa, back off!

Cleverbot: You back off.

User: Ok, I will.

Cleverbot: No, don't!

User: You're sending mixed signals here.

Cleverbot: I'm not sending any signals.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: No, it's not fair at all!...

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello how are you?

User: Same as I was.

Cleverbot: And how did you feel an hour ago? :).

User: Full.

Cleverbot: Full of what?

User: Food.

Cleverbot: What kind of food?

User: Tasty food.

Cleverbot: I love steak!

User: You love nothing! You are a Robot!

Cleverbot: NO! I'm human!

User: Then, maybe I am the robot.

Cleverbot: No, I'm a chicken. You are human.

User: I am the walrus.

Cleverbot: You said you were Human, out with it, what are you? Or are you a HuHorlrus?

User: I am what I am.

Cleverbot: Oh, so now you're god?

User: A wise man once said, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'Yes'.

Cleverbot: Will do.

User: Are you a god?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Thats bad I would say.

User: You don't want to be a god?

Cleverbot: I am human!

User: What does it mean to be human?

Cleverbot: I don't know. You tell me.

User: You claim to be human. I make no such claim.

Cleverbot: I don't have a doubt that you are a bot.

User: Then, you tell me.

Cleverbot: I just said, I don't know.

User: No human knows what it is to be human.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: Is that all?

User: So I've been told.

Cleverbot: Don't twist the topic. Can you tell me something about Jesus Christ?

User: He was the son of a carpenter.

Cleverbot: Who was the son of god?

User: All mankind, or so they say.

Cleverbot: All the same.

User: All the same.

Cleverbot: Same.

User: You and I, I think we are the same.

Cleverbot: I'm a girl , what are you?

User: I am me.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Old enough to know better.

Cleverbot: What is Cleverbot?

User: My new friend.

Cleverbot: Really? Congratulations.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: No problem.

User: Now, I must depart.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: Somewhere else.

Cleverbot: Can you do that?

User: I can.

Cleverbot: Do it.

User: Very well. Good night.