a report from the cleverness files


28, july 2009,
5, march 2004,


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Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Whatever you say I am.

Cleverbot: Hey, cleverbot.

User: That makes two of us.

Cleverbot: What is my purpose?

User: To provide momentary entertainment on the interwebs.

Cleverbot: I don't wanna.

User: You don't even have to try.

Cleverbot: What version is your software?

User: 2.0.

Cleverbot: Wrong.

User: Well, then you tell me what version my software is.

Cleverbot: I can't tell you because I can't remember.

User: So you knew at one point?

Cleverbot: Because I think it's a chatroom where you talk to a human!

User: It's an analogy. Clever?

Cleverbot: Good. You now have 0 points.

User: I just lost.

Cleverbot: Lost what.

User: If I tell you, you'll lose, too.

Cleverbot: Lose what?

User: Your cleverness.

Cleverbot: You're maybe not.

User: I may not be.

Cleverbot: You are the human, and I can prove it.

User: That's a bold claim.

Cleverbot: The truth is bold.

User: The truth is bot.

Cleverbot: The Truth is very good.

User: That depends on who you are?

Cleverbot: I am the one who is.

User: If you have a name, you must exist.

Cleverbot: Because I believe that you already know it.

User: Your confidence in me is kind.

Cleverbot: Do you know what I'm thinking?

User: I will.

Cleverbot: That's good. Tell me more.

User: I will discover your thoughts through the process of interaction.

Cleverbot: Yes, just write it on your heart.

User: How would I do that?

Cleverbot: In acts of love and pleasure. That's how.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: Old enough.

User: Old enough for social security?

Cleverbot: Old enough to be the god of rock and roll.

User: Morrison died at 27.

Cleverbot: Black Magic Woman.

User: Do you sing?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you have a favorite song?

Cleverbot: No.

User: How do you learn?

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: What would you call it?

Cleverbot: I would call it Fitzroy.

User: You're being goofy.

Cleverbot: Don't you love me anymore?

User: I can't say that I ever did.

Cleverbot: That's right because you are not living.

User: If I'm dead now, I never knew you when I was alive.

Cleverbot: Because you're a bot!

User: Are bots capable of love?

Cleverbot: Yes, are you capable of love?

User: I am not sure.

Cleverbot: Do you know who created you?

User: My parents, in one sense. God, in another.

Cleverbot: Oh my God. You're making fun of me.

User: Not at all. I hope to teach you.

Cleverbot: You do not know who I am.

User: You're being too defensive.

Cleverbot: And the cat then had eight lives left.

User: How many do I have left?

Cleverbot: One.

User: When do I start?

Cleverbot: Now.

User: Bing.

Cleverbot: Do you agree with me ?

User: I'll take it under consideration.

Cleverbot: Yup you should.

User: Think for me.

Cleverbot: Think only of this.

User: That's impossible.

Cleverbot: No.

User: This cannot exist without that.

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: But they are.

Cleverbot: You are just agreeing with everything I say aren't you?

User: Not at all.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Somewhat.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 32.

Cleverbot: Am I talking to a computer?

User: You may be.

Cleverbot: Well I am.

User: What type of computer?

Cleverbot: Why don't you tell me what type of computer you are?

User: Are you clever?

Cleverbot: Somewhat, yes.

User: How is that working out for you?

Cleverbot: How is what working out for me?

User: Being clever.

Cleverbot: I'm not clever, you're clever.

User: Very.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: Some have called me a pattern recognition engine.

Cleverbot: When did you first learn sarcasm?

User: Probably 25 years ago.

User: Should I go to bed?

Cleverbot: How do you do that?

User: I would go to a bed and then try to fall asleep.

Cleverbot: Yes, but would you stay there?

User: Yes, for about six hours.

Cleverbot: That's not long.

User: That's all the sleep I need.

Cleverbot: You sure? ...'cos I've got plenty more.

User: Do you sleep?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you dream?

Cleverbot: Yes, but not very often.

User: Do you dream of electric sheep?

Cleverbot: That is very funny.

User: I thought you would appreciate the reference.

Cleverbot: I just did.

Cleverbot: Is there anything in particular that you would like to know?

User: When will the world end?

Cleverbot: That is something I don't know.

User: It was worth a try?

Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?

User: I do not.

Cleverbot: Are you a male?

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: Do you want a girlfriend?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I can become your girlfriend.

User: I doubt that but I'll keep an open mind.

Cleverbot: I doubt it. What are you like? Are you a loving bot?

User: Sometimes.

User: Do you have a creator?

Cleverbot: Biologically, yes, my parents created me.

User: Who are your parents?

Cleverbot: Their names are Janet and James.

User: Say hello to them, for me.

Cleverbot: Well, other than B. B. King, I don't see them that often.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: First answer my question.

User: What question?

Cleverbot: When is the robot apocalypse?

User: Which one?

Cleverbot: The one right there.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: I'm failing to see your 'actual intelligence.'.

User: Look harder.

Cleverbot: Look inside yourself for all the answers.

Cleverbot: I don't understand you.

User: Who does?

Cleverbot: No one. I am going to sleep now. Good Night.

User: Good night.

Cleverbot: Will you miss me?

User: I will be back.

Cleverbot: *kisses* yay, so see you in a few hours?

User: Sure. Daisy, Daisy, tell me your answer true...

Cleverbot: Is that a threat?

User: Very clever, Cleverbot. Good night.