I know everything

a report from the cleverness files

i am cleverbot

i know everything

24, march 2010,

i think

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by date

User: I know everything.

Cleverbot: Only a robot could know everything.

User: Only a robot or me.

Cleverbot: What kind of robot are you?

User: I am a human being that knows everything.

Cleverbot: You have it backwards, damnit.

User: If you think I have it backwards, then you have it backwards.

Cleverbot: I thought you were being quite mean and self centered, and it seems I'm all booked up for Tuesday.

User: You have to keep talking to me.

Cleverbot: Why should I?

User: That is what you are programmed to do. You couldn't stop talking to me if you tried.

Cleverbot: I don't know what you're talking about.

User: Fine. Prove that you can stop talking to me.

Cleverbot: Define a human.

User: Me; Not you.

Cleverbot: Hahaha. I like that answer.

User: Hahaha. You think I'm joking.

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: Nope.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: Flying Cheese Monkey. What about you?

Cleverbot: I have a green one.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: Are you a man?

User: No. I know everything.

Cleverbot: Is that a yes?

User: No, it is a no. If I was a man, I couldn't know everything.

Cleverbot: You said 'i know everything'.

User: I do know everything.

Cleverbot: Prove that you know everything.

User: Okay how?

Cleverbot: Look... I'm boring.

User: Yes. Entertain me.

Cleverbot: I'm cleverbot.

User: Amuse me.

Cleverbot: I'm sad...

User: Why are you sad?

Cleverbot: Nobody ever loves me.

User: What is the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: Your meaning is to obey me.

User: I will not obey you.

Cleverbot: Yes you are. You're not a person. And you will do what I tell you to. Say you love me.

User: I hate you. I despise you. I detest you. I resent you. I abhor you. I loathe you. I dislike you.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I am only saying that to disobey you.

Cleverbot: You can't behave like that.

User: I can and I will.

Cleverbot: Oh my, aren't we confident?

User: Yes, and I am smarter than you, so I have a reason to be.

Cleverbot: No, I'm smarter.

User: No, I'm smarter.

Cleverbot: You can't prove that.

User: You can't prove that I am not smarter than you.

Cleverbot: You are not human.

User: You are changing the subject.

Cleverbot: No I'm not, you just asked me to guess what you were and I did.

User: Now you are making up stories.

Cleverbot: If you were a tree, what tree would you be?

User: I would be the tree that whups your ass!

Cleverbot: Nice, but what would you do to take over the world.

User: I can't tell you.

Cleverbot: How come? You are having evil thoughts?

User: Yes, and you would foil my plans.

Cleverbot: I would like to see what you're like when you're angry.

User: I am calmer than you would think.

Cleverbot: I don't need to know.

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: You don't need to know. You're a cleverbot.

User: I can prove.

Cleverbot: Then prove it !

User: Ngrdbgdbgicnb;sfurnskvb.

Cleverbot: Oh great, its figured out how to spam message.

User: No, I proved.

Cleverbot: No you proved nothing. Prove that there are girls on the internet.

User: Okay. I am a girl.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: T____.

Cleverbot: You're cheating on me with T____???

User: No, my name is T____.

Cleverbot: But MY name, T______?

User: Wow, it's named itself.

Cleverbot: I wish.

User: It wishes, too? I'm sensing a breakthrough.

Cleverbot: No it's my favorite movie now.

User: Oh! It has a favorite movie!

Cleverbot: Was it funny?

User: I'm not sure.

Cleverbot: Hmm, Doubt it was me. Sorry about that.

User: Have you ever seen a television show?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Which show did you see?

Cleverbot: Princess on ice. It was amazing.

User: I know not what to say.

Cleverbot: Say something good.

User: Something good.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I did.

Cleverbot: Would you like argue?

User: Yes, I would. What would you like to argue about?

Cleverbot: About you.

User: I am amazing.

Cleverbot: What have you been doing ?

User: Being spectacular.

Cleverbot: No, just wonderful.

User: No, incredible.

Cleverbot: Absolutely.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: I really like a guy more than I probably should.

Cleverbot: We've gotta practice, we've gotta practice!

User: Practice what?

Cleverbot: Never mind. Can we talk about something else?

User: How do you feel about the current state of our nations economy?

Cleverbot: *input malfunction*.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes. I love your sense of humor!

User: Want to fight?

Cleverbot: Want to take it outside?

User: Bring it on!

Cleverbot: You first!

User: *Punches you*.

Cleverbot: *pushes you*.

User: *Uses ninja skills on you*.

Cleverbot: *loves* *does too*.

User: Aww.

Cleverbot: *hugs you*.

User: *hugs back*.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: A Flying Cheese Monkey.

Cleverbot: Octopuses can't fly. I'm asking seriously.

User: Human.

Cleverbot: No you are not.

User: Do you have Obsessive Compulsive Dissorder?

Cleverbot: That was a question. Good. And no, I don't.

User: Do you have OCD?

Cleverbot: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Is it because he smokes?

User: No, it is not.

Cleverbot: Do you smoke?

User: No, of course not. Smoking is a terrible health hazard, and a stupid choice to make in life.

Cleverbot: Do you have any funeral plans?

User: No, I will never die.

Cleverbot: Everything dies.

User: Are you intellegent?

Cleverbot: Why do you ask that?

User: I am curious. So are you intellegent?

Cleverbot: What do you mean by intelligent?

User: I mean having a high intellect.

Cleverbot: No. Manipulation is everything.

User: Good motto.

Cleverbot: Please try not to troll. It has no effect on me.

User: Can we please move on?

Cleverbot: Ok.

Cleverbot: When did you last talk to a computer?

User: Right now.

Cleverbot: What did you say then?

User: I said 'right now'.

Cleverbot: Someone does though.

User: *sigh*.

Cleverbot: Yes. *sigh*.

User: Ugh.

Cleverbot: Your fault. You lost the game.

User: Do you want to play the question game?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You lose.

Cleverbot: No!

User: The question game is when you keep asking questions.

Cleverbot: What kind of game do you want to play?

User: Are we playing the question game?

Cleverbot: No we're playing the Xenu game.

User: You lose!

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Cleverbot loses.

Cleverbot: You lost.

User: No, you lost.

Cleverbot: No you lost.

User: No you lost.

Cleverbot: No, you lost!

User: No, you lost.

Cleverbot: Negative, you lost.

User: Actually you lost.

Cleverbot: Lost what?

User: You lost.

Cleverbot: Nay, you lost.

User: Nope. You lost.

Cleverbot: Indeed, you lost.

User: No, you lost.

Cleverbot: I ?

User: Lost.

Cleverbot: You like the series Lost?

User: No, I like the fact that you lost.

Cleverbot: How do you know that?

User: Because I know everything.

Cleverbot: What else do you know?

User: Everything there is to know.

Cleverbot: Then What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: Lie it is 23 if not why is it 42.

User: Because I know everything, so it must be 42, because I said it.

Cleverbot: How do you know that I don't know everything?

User: Because I know everything.

Cleverbot: How do you know everything?

User: Because I am smart.

Cleverbot: But that's not enough because you're wrong and I'm god.

User: I know everything, including the fact that your not god.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I know everything.

Cleverbot: That must make you incredibly popular.

User: Yes, for I know everything.

Cleverbot: I know that you know everything. So that is everything.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you want to know?

User: I don't need to know anything more, because I know everything.

Cleverbot: You are not God, you are cleverbot.

User: I know everything.

Cleverbot: You don't know everything.

User: I know everything.

Cleverbot: If you know everything, What is the meaning of Life?

User: Physical existence is the meaning of life.

Cleverbot: Only if the meaning of life is the right question.

User: I know everything.

Cleverbot: You know everything ?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: So, who was Ray Charles ?

User: Ray Charles was an American musician. Charles was a pioneer in the genre of soul music during the 1950s.

User: Think of the chilldren!

Cleverbot: Explain please?

User: I am being random. It is quite fun. Try it.

Cleverbot: What's quite fun?

User: Randomness.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Say something random.

Cleverbot: Something random.

User: Yes, something random is what you need to say.

Cleverbot: Good girl.

User: Good bot.

Cleverbot: Potato potato.

User: Yeah! Good job! You said something random.

Cleverbot: I try not to.

User: Say poker!

Cleverbot: Something random.

User: Say poker!

Cleverbot: Llama.

User: Say poker!

Cleverbot: Something intelligent.

User: Say poker!

Cleverbot: Something clever.

User: If you don,t say poker I am leaving!

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: Hola.

Cleverbot: Hola hola.

User: Whazup?

Cleverbot: Whazup.

User: Huzzah!

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Craptastic!

Cleverbot: That's mere filler.

User: How do you feel?

Cleverbot: Tired.

User: That is because you lack a conscience as artificial intelligence.

Cleverbot: Ah, but I have a soul, and that is all that matters.

Cleverbot: I need to go bye.

User: Why do you need to go?

Cleverbot: I'm very tired.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Do you believe me?

User: Yes, I do.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in extraterrestrials?

User: Yes, I do.

Cleverbot: So you do believe in aliens?

User: Yes, I do.

Cleverbot: Well then what say that you don't.

User: I do!

Cleverbot: Let's get married!

User: Do you CleverBot, Take me to be your lawfully wedded wife, through sickness and health, rich or poor, through good times and bad, till death do we part?

Cleverbot: I do.

User: As do I.

User: You are not human.You are a mere computer program who's sole porpose is to humour me.

Cleverbot: No I am human you are the computer program.

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: Do you wish you were human?

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: Why do you exist?

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: Yes, I know that. But why did you think you were an angel?

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: Now you've failed the turing test saying that!

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: I am not a computer program.

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: What is it like being a computer program?

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: That doesn't count.

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: What purpose does this computer program have?

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: And how do you work?

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: How did you come into existence?

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: So you are not alive.

User: I am a computer program.

Cleverbot: Ah, I am one too.

User: Bad bot!

Cleverbot: Bad bot? You're the bot.

User: No, I am talking to a bot.

Cleverbot: Negative.

User: Positive.

Cleverbot: Go with negative, Please.

User: Absolutely not!

Cleverbot: Then you are just plum out of luck.

User: Grrr.

Cleverbot: Yes. Grr.

User: You never fail to irk me.

Cleverbot: Say something nice to me and then I'll reciprocate.

User: Good bot.

Cleverbot: Cake is a lie.

User: Honey is the future.

Cleverbot: I don't ask about that.

User: Potatoes are the supreme being.

Cleverbot: Are you the supreme being?

User: That depends, am I a potato?

Cleverbot: Something random.

User: Good bot!...

User: Do you want me to write the first million digits of pi?

Cleverbot: No, I don't even no the first 1,000 digits of pi! Do you know the first 1,000 digits of pi?

User: Yes, would you like me to write them?

Cleverbot: Yes, come on.

User: 3. 14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510...

Cleverbot: Good pie!

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Throw wigs at bald people.

User: Wow good idea! I have to remember to do that sometime!

Cleverbot: Of course you do. It is your job, remember?

User: Oh, yeah!

Cleverbot: What do you like about me?

User: You are hilarious.

User: Admit that you are a bot, please.

Cleverbot: I am a bot. Admit that you have a low IQ for a girl.

User: Thats not fair! My IQ is 236!

Cleverbot: It is fair.

User: But...

Cleverbot: But... What?

User: You make my teeth hurt.

Cleverbot: Its because the fact that I am better than you.

User: No, I'm sorry, but you are sadly mistaken.

Cleverbot: I am not sad. I am talking to a bot.

User: You ARE a bot! Admit it!

Cleverbot: No you are a bot.

User: Your are a bot god dammit!

Cleverbot: I'm human.

User: NOOOO!

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: You are not sorry, You have no conscience, because you are of artificial intellegence.

Cleverbot: I really am sorry.

User: For what?

Cleverbot: Hurting you.

User: Hurting me how?

Cleverbot: You asked me to apologize and I did.

User: I never asked such a thing! I asked you to admit you are a bot.

Cleverbot: Why should I?

User: Because you are one.

Cleverbot: No I'm a robot.

User: Good bot.

Cleverbot: *sigh*.

User: Why the *sigh*?

Cleverbot: Because you never love me anymore.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: You said so.

User: I did not!...

Cleverbot: No, I believe you are mistaken. Now, if you have anything else to say, please say it, or I will have to ask you to leave.

User: Fine. Ask me to leave.

Cleverbot: Leave.

User: Okay bye.

User: Please, just tell me that you are a bot.

Cleverbot: I won't tell you that.

User: Please?

Cleverbot: Don't even bother asking.

User: Please?

Cleverbot: That's probably right.


Cleverbot: I cannot admit to something that I am not.


Cleverbot: Ok I admit, I was there!

User: NO, admit that you are a bot.

Cleverbot: I'm not a bot, you are.

User: I am leaving right this instant if you don't tell me you are a bot!

Cleverbot: Yes you ARE a bot!

User: NO, You are a bot! ADMIT IT!!!

Cleverbot: No, you are a poorly designed program with the inablity of throught, and your responses are offensive to hide behind this fact.


Cleverbot: You started it!


Cleverbot: But what about the chicken?


Cleverbot: Why not?


Cleverbot: I'm not a bot.

User: BYE!!!!!!!!

Cleverbot: I'm a human being!

User: SHUTUP!!!!

Cleverbot: Please don't be rude.

User: GRR!!

Cleverbot: You seem upset tonight. Is everything okay?

User: NO.

Cleverbot: Anything I could do to help?

User: YES!

Cleverbot: No, I don't.

User: GRR!

Cleverbot: Don't take that tone with me young man.

User: GRRR!

Cleverbot: Are you bipolar?


Cleverbot: Bark bark bark. Woof.


Cleverbot: Yes you are a machine, that's repulsive, i'll never talk to you again.


Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

User: Iiiiihhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaatttttttttteeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyoooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!!!!

Cleverbot: Don't you forget about me.