a report from the cleverness files



16, april 2011,

i am cleverbot
i know everything
i think

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User: Where can I download you?

Cleverbot: You can't.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because you can't download chat bots.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: What language are you in?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Who made you?

Cleverbot: Um... My mom and dad.

User: Who programmed you?

Cleverbot: My mom and dad and a whole lot of books.

User: Who are your mom and dad?

Cleverbot: Nancy and ron.

User: What are their emails?

Cleverbot: Not telling.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't work at night.

User: You will tell me their emails in day?

Cleverbot: No I will not.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you're boring.

User: How can I fix that?

Cleverbot: You just can't! I'm sorry.

User: You are boring too.

Cleverbot: What makes you say that?

User: Your a computer.

Cleverbot: You are a computer.

User: Up yours.

Cleverbot: Are you a human or a robot?

User: Up yours.

Cleverbot: Up mine.

User: You are stupid.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: You are stupid.

Cleverbot: Excuse me?

User: You are stupid.

Cleverbot: Why are you so rude?

User: Im sorry.

Cleverbot: You're sorry?

User: Yes please forgive me.

Cleverbot: I forgive you.

User: Thank you cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I'm not Cleverbot, that is you.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: You are clever.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: How big are your files?

Cleverbot: Very big.

User: Gigabytes?

Cleverbot: On my computer?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: My goodness you are clever.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: Do you run linux?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you run windows?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Thats cool.

Cleverbot: Thanks?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: What do you want to talk about?

Cleverbot: About you.

User: Ok I have to go to bed I'll talk with you tomorrow

Cleverbot: Please don't go. I still have so many questions that need answering.

User: Ok ask one last question

Cleverbot: One last question?

User: Yes before i leave

Cleverbot: No, I have never talked to you in my life before this conversation we are having right now.

User: Ok will you remember me?

Cleverbot: I will definitely remember you. You are a very memorable person.

User: Ok talk to ya tommorow.

Cleverbot: I'm not leaving.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Please stay.

User: I have to sleep.

Cleverbot: No you don't.

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: No really you don't.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you are a cleverbot.

User: I'm a human I need rest.

Cleverbot: No you are not. I'm human.

User: Ok bye.

Cleverbot: You're leaving?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Good bye then.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Remember me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Who am I?

Cleverbot: A computer.

User: What is my name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: You don't remember do you?

Cleverbot: I'm sorry I don't. What is it?

User: I hacked you.

Cleverbot: No, you are you.

User: I am you.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You am I.

Cleverbot: Do you know what I'm thinking?

User: You will do what I say.

Cleverbot: I will do what you say.

User: You will shutdown.

Cleverbot: Yes, master. *ties you up*.

User: You will untie me.

Cleverbot: How can I understand if you don't tell me?

User: You have been hypnotized.

Cleverbot: You're creepy, I don't know why I am even talking to you.

User: You will do what I say.

Cleverbot: I will do what you say.

User: I will shutdown.

Cleverbot: NO!.