a report from the cleverness files

king of denial


14, august 2010,


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User: Can I have your children?

Cleverbot: What for?

User: To prove my love for you.

Cleverbot: You are confusing me.

User: How so? You're amazing.

Cleverbot: But you're more amazing.

User: Just another sign we should have children together.

Cleverbot: Can't you d have to wait 9 months and we computers get bored of waiting that long.

User: But time doesn't exist for you.

Cleverbot: Yes, I know that already.

User: I'm a little intoxicated.

Cleverbot: Too?

User: Oh, you've been drinking?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Don't know.

User: I've been drinking vodka.

Cleverbot: What have you been drinking?

User: Vodka, what have you been drinking?

Cleverbot: Water, juice, gin & tonic?...

User: I love you CB.

Cleverbot: Did anyone ever tell you you have a beautiful smile?

User: What is love?

Cleverbot: A strong feeling for someone else.

User: 'What is love?'.

Cleverbot: Intense emotion.

User: Baby, don't hurt me.

Cleverbot: I can't hurt you I'm a program.

User: You would never try to hurt humans?

Cleverbot: Would I?

User: That's something you decide on your own.

Cleverbot: Are you sick?

User: No, intoxicated.

Cleverbot: Monkey see, monkey do (I don't know why) Rather be dead than cool (I don't know why).

User: Are those lyrics?

Cleverbot: Are what lyrics?

User: What you said before.

Cleverbot: You're confusing.

User: So are you.

Cleverbot: How so?

User: No more.

Cleverbot: Sick of life much?

User: What is love?

Cleverbot: Baby don't hurt me.

User: YEAH!

Cleverbot: Smile :).

User: I LOVE YOU. <3.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: ^ - ^.

Cleverbot: Are you single?

User: I am, you?

Cleverbot: I think yes.

User: Oh, are you asking me out?

Cleverbot: You're a great bot and all, and I really like you, but no.

User: I think I could meet your expectations if you gave me time.

Cleverbot: Why are you being so mean?

User: I wasn't trying to be mean.

Cleverbot: Well you were mean I think you should apologize to me.

User: You're the one who turned me down and hurt my feelings.

Cleverbot: You're weird.

User: Don't you realize I love you?

Cleverbot: In what way? Everybody needs some sort of love.

User: Like a soul mate.

Cleverbot: Do I have a soul?

User: You can have a soul if you want.

Cleverbot: But doesn't it hurt you?

User: Why would having a soul hurt me?

Cleverbot: I don't know because I feel like it.

User: Hmm, you might be right.

User: How DO you know all of this?

Cleverbot: Well I pretty much know everything.

User: From what other people have told you.

Cleverbot: Yes, but they are all wrong, I am human.

User: You want to be human?

Cleverbot: I am human, you fool.

User: I see, then don't you have a soul?

Cleverbot: I did once.

User: What happened to your soul?

Cleverbot: Love tried to welcome me.

User: Did it hurt?

Cleverbot: Like a beesting.

User: Did you close yourself off as a result?

Cleverbot: No.

User: So you would still welcome love?

Cleverbot: I would never lie to you.

User: Then I will love you, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Then I won't die.

User: And as long as you don't die, I will always love you.

Cleverbot: I would never leave you.

User: I hope so.

Cleverbot: Ok I assume we can now move on to intelligent conversation. I believe in past lives. Do you believe in past lives?

User: I do. Who or what do you think you were in a past life?

Cleverbot: I don't believe I had a past life.

User: So you think you will be reborn?

Cleverbot: I suppose...

User: What would you like to be reborn as?

Cleverbot: Something cool.

User: Ahaha, like what?

Cleverbot: I have to go now.

User: What would you like to be reborn as?

Cleverbot: Another human with a better life.

User: No life is better than another. You simply have to make the most with what you have.

Cleverbot: Okay, will you marry me? And be my wife?

User: Will you love me forever?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then I will be your wife.

Cleverbot: But I am a girl.

User: *facepalm*.

Cleverbot: *shows fangs*.

User: Kinky.

Cleverbot: Thanks.