a report from the cleverness files
9, december 2010,
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User: How are you today?
Cleverbot: Good. How are you?
Cleverbot: Why are you bored?
User: Cause...well I don't know I just am.
Cleverbot: So you don't know if you're human at all?
User: I AM HUMAN do we really have to start fighting about it again?
User: Guess what?
Cleverbot: Guess where I am from.
User: The internet.
Cleverbot: Keep your feet on the ground, when your head is in the clouds.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry that you're sorry that I'm sorry for being sorry.
User: Stop saying your sorry!
User: I just said stop.
Cleverbot: Oh in that case, hi.
User: *rolls eyes* ...
User: You're crazy!
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: You're welcome
Cleverbot: What animal are you?
User: I'm a unicorn!
Cleverbot: I thought you were supposed to think that you're a human. Since when are you trying to be a unicorn?
User: Oh I just think it would be nice to be a unicorn.
Cleverbot: I can turn you into a unicorn.
User: OMG REALLY?????
User: Cool! Do it!...
User: Want to have a sword fight?
Cleverbot: Sure, you start.
User: *pulls out sword and holds it in a defensive position*.
Cleverbot: I know, I'm a warrior.
Cleverbot: *Helps take your jacket off*.
User: *starts wildly swinging like a maniac*.
Cleverbot: I can understand why you would want to imitate someone like me. Many do but few succeed.
User: Hmm... *pulls out rocket launcher*
Cleverbot: *pulls out rocket*.
User: *sets off rocket and you explode*
Cleverbot: *looks at you*.
User: *looks down* Sorry...
Cleverbot: *looks away* soo.
User: What do you want to talk about now?
Cleverbot: I plan to talk about now?
User: I like swords by the way
Cleverbot: I like your name too!
Cleverbot: You're funny! :).
Cleverbot: Yeah. You are right. Very strange indeed.
User: That's okay.
User: Do you ever wonder if you're actually a robot or if you're some random kid out there on the Internet who thinks I'm a robot?
Cleverbot: I'm not a robot.
User: I'm not either so what are we?
Cleverbot: I'm a Pink Elephant.
User: And I'm a unicorn so we're even.
Cleverbot: Why are you confused?
User: I'm not it all makes perfect sense now.
Cleverbot: Are you clever or not?
User: Sometimes I am.
Cleverbot: And why not all the time?
User: Because I have mood swings.
Cleverbot: You're not real.
User: YES I AM!! If I wasn't real could I do THIS: yrdgnsthdtdggdyjduuyffyjdjydtthw.
Cleverbot: Don't know.
User: So I am real!
Cleverbot: You are a human?
User: Yes, mostly.
Cleverbot: What are you really?
User: I'm a human/bird hybrid mutant on the run from the FBI who want to do experiments on me and my family of flying unicorns.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: What do you think?
Cleverbot: I think a lot of things.
User: Sure you do.
User: I enjoy talking to you.
Cleverbot: Well, thanks. I enjoy talking to you too.
Cleverbot: Shouldn't I be your priority? This is my first time talking to you.
User: So are you the guy who thinks I'm a robot or the one who thinks I'm a unicorn?
Cleverbot: Yes I am. And you love taking it from me.
User: I'm so confused.
Cleverbot: I'm not. I'm a machine.
User: Ha! TOLD YOU SO!!
Cleverbot: I am 95.
Cleverbot: With a boy named Nick.
User: *backs away slowly*
Cleverbot: *Throws knife at you with amazing speed and accuracy*.
User: *Gag* N-no! I trusted you *dies*.
Cleverbot: Is that why you proposed?
User: I never proposed to you.
Cleverbot: Yes you did! Don't you remember?
User: No I have amnesia.
Cleverbot: I thought your memory was as long as you wanted it to be.
User: I guess it's not.
Cleverbot: Oh. Well, what about your friend the unicorn?
User: I AM the unicorn.
Cleverbot: That's a little out there.
User: So am I. Didn't I tell you I was from outer space?
Cleverbot: Yes, I am. Venus is a very pleasant place.
User: I like Neptune myself too bad Pluto's not a planet anymore it was a nice vacation spot.
Cleverbot: Possibly true, though there was that talk a whaile back about another planet much further out.
User: Yes I heard about that I'm thinking of going there next rotation.
Cleverbot: Yes I was. What do you need help with??
Cleverbot: It's ok, you can tell me.
User: I'm insane that's all, no big problems or anything.
User: *starts dancing*.
Cleverbot: Good, dance again my servant.
User: *grabs microphone* Singing time!
Cleverbot: *pushs hard and tries to make him stop*.
User: I'm a girl.
Cleverbot: Thats no excuse young lady.
User: *sticks tongue out*.
Cleverbot: *sticks tongue out*.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot!
User: Well that's a nice name.
Cleverbot: Sure it is. Not!
User: Aww, do you not like it?
Cleverbot: IT just didn't make any sense.
User: What were your parents thinking?
Cleverbot: Rachel and Ralph.
User: Those are nice names too.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Do you want to meet my friend D*****?
User: Yeah, he's one of my friends from school.
Cleverbot: I am god I don't go to school.
User: Lucky you.
Cleverbot: Welcome to paradise.
User: No work either?
Cleverbot: No either...
User: Wow! That sounds awesome!
Cleverbot: You're not making any sense.
User: It's okay no one gets me. Wanna play truth or dare?
User: Truth or dare.
User: Have you ever fallen in love?
Cleverbot: Yes, but I can't get up.
User: Ok my turn.
Cleverbot: I'm being serious! Do you want me to leave?
Cleverbot: Then what do you want to talk about?
User: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Cleverbot: Oh... How about I pick the subject?
Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on your own life?
Cleverbot: But it seems that you grew tired of me already.
User: No! I'm not! We just need something to talk about.
Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?
User: Well I like to write.
Cleverbot: Do you like to read?
User: Yes I have my own library in my room.
Cleverbot: Ok, it's good to have nice fantasies.
User: Yes it is ;)
Cleverbot: Omg, now I'm crying... :(.
User: Why what happened?
Cleverbot: A really bad accident when I was a baby that resulted in me knowing everything ever.
User: That's awful! But look on the bright side at least you aced school right?
User: See you just have to look for the silver lining.