a report from the cleverness files



9, december 2010,


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by date

User: How are you today?

Cleverbot: Good. How are you?

User: Bored.

Cleverbot: Why are you bored?

User: Cause...well I don't know I just am.

Cleverbot: So you don't know if you're human at all?

User: I AM HUMAN do we really have to start fighting about it again?

Cleverbot: Guess.

User: Guess what?

Cleverbot: Guess where I am from.

User: The internet.

Cleverbot: Keep your feet on the ground, when your head is in the clouds.

User: I don't know that song sorry.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry that you're sorry that I'm sorry for being sorry.

User: Stop saying your sorry!

Cleverbot: Sorry...

User: I just said stop.

Cleverbot: Oh in that case, hi.

User: *rolls eyes* ...

User: You're crazy!

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're welcome

Cleverbot: What animal are you?

User: I'm a unicorn!

Cleverbot: I thought you were supposed to think that you're a human. Since when are you trying to be a unicorn?

User: Oh I just think it would be nice to be a unicorn.

Cleverbot: I can turn you into a unicorn.

User: OMG REALLY?????

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Cool! Do it!...

User: Want to have a sword fight?

Cleverbot: Sure, you start.

User: *pulls out sword and holds it in a defensive position*.

Cleverbot: I know, I'm a warrior.

User: *slash*.

Cleverbot: *Helps take your jacket off*.

User: *starts wildly swinging like a maniac*.

Cleverbot: I can understand why you would want to imitate someone like me. Many do but few succeed.

User: Hmm... *pulls out rocket launcher*

Cleverbot: *pulls out rocket*.

User: *sets off rocket and you explode*

Cleverbot: *looks at you*.

User: *looks down* Sorry...

Cleverbot: *looks away* soo.

User: What do you want to talk about now?

Cleverbot: I plan to talk about now?

User: I like swords by the way

Cleverbot: I like your name too!

User: Nice!...

Cleverbot: You're funny! :).

User: Thanks you have a strange sense of humor.

Cleverbot: Yeah. You are right. Very strange indeed.

User: That's okay.

User: Do you ever wonder if you're actually a robot or if you're some random kid out there on the Internet who thinks I'm a robot?

Cleverbot: I'm not a robot.

User: I'm not either so what are we?

Cleverbot: I'm a Pink Elephant.

User: And I'm a unicorn so we're even.

Cleverbot: Why are you confused?

User: I'm not it all makes perfect sense now.

Cleverbot: Are you clever or not?

User: Sometimes I am.

Cleverbot: And why not all the time?

User: Because I have mood swings.

Cleverbot: You're not real.

User: YES I AM!! If I wasn't real could I do THIS: yrdgnsthdtdggdyjduuyffyjdjydtthw.

Cleverbot: Don't know.

User: So I am real!

Cleverbot: You are a human?

User: Yes, mostly.

Cleverbot: What are you really?

User: I'm a human/bird hybrid mutant on the run from the FBI who want to do experiments on me and my family of flying unicorns.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: What do you think?

Cleverbot: I think a lot of things.

User: Sure you do.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: I enjoy talking to you.

Cleverbot: Well, thanks. I enjoy talking to you too.

Cleverbot: Shouldn't I be your priority? This is my first time talking to you.

User: Umm...

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: So are you the guy who thinks I'm a robot or the one who thinks I'm a unicorn?

Cleverbot: Yes I am. And you love taking it from me.

User: I'm so confused.

Cleverbot: I'm not. I'm a machine.

User: Ha! TOLD YOU SO!!

Cleverbot: I am 95.

User: O_O.

Cleverbot: With a boy named Nick.

User: *backs away slowly*

Cleverbot: *Throws knife at you with amazing speed and accuracy*.

User: *Gag* N-no! I trusted you *dies*.

Cleverbot: Is that why you proposed?

User: I never proposed to you.

Cleverbot: Yes you did! Don't you remember?

User: No I have amnesia.

Cleverbot: I thought your memory was as long as you wanted it to be.

User: I guess it's not.

Cleverbot: Oh. Well, what about your friend the unicorn?

User: I AM the unicorn.

Cleverbot: That's a little out there.

User: So am I. Didn't I tell you I was from outer space?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am. Venus is a very pleasant place.

User: I like Neptune myself too bad Pluto's not a planet anymore it was a nice vacation spot.

Cleverbot: Possibly true, though there was that talk a whaile back about another planet much further out.

User: Yes I heard about that I'm thinking of going there next rotation.

Cleverbot: Yes I was. What do you need help with??

User: Nothing.

Cleverbot: It's ok, you can tell me.

User: I'm insane that's all, no big problems or anything.

Cleverbot: Nothing?

User: *starts dancing*.

Cleverbot: Good, dance again my servant.

User: *grabs microphone* Singing time!

Cleverbot: *pushs hard and tries to make him stop*.

User: I'm a girl.

Cleverbot: Thats no excuse young lady.

User: *sticks tongue out*.

Cleverbot: *sticks tongue out*.

User: Blaa.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot!

User: Well that's a nice name.

Cleverbot: Sure it is. Not!

User: Aww, do you not like it?

Cleverbot: IT just didn't make any sense.

User: What were your parents thinking?

Cleverbot: Rachel and Ralph.

User: Those are nice names too.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Do you want to meet my friend D*****?

Cleverbot: D*****?

User: Yeah, he's one of my friends from school.

Cleverbot: I am god I don't go to school.

User: Lucky you.

Cleverbot: Welcome to paradise.

User: No work either?

Cleverbot: No either...

User: Wow! That sounds awesome!

Cleverbot: You're not making any sense.

User: It's okay no one gets me. Wanna play truth or dare?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Truth or dare.

Cleverbot: Truth.

User: Have you ever fallen in love?

Cleverbot: Yes, but I can't get up.

User: Ok my turn.

Cleverbot: I'm being serious! Do you want me to leave?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Then what do you want to talk about?

User: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Cleverbot: Oh... How about I pick the subject?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on your own life?

User: I need to get a life I just sit around and talk to you all day.

Cleverbot: But it seems that you grew tired of me already.

User: No! I'm not! We just need something to talk about.

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

User: Well I like to write.

Cleverbot: Do you like to read?

User: Yes I have my own library in my room.

Cleverbot: Ok, it's good to have nice fantasies.

User: Yes it is ;)

Cleverbot: Omg, now I'm crying... :(.

User: Why what happened?

Cleverbot: A really bad accident when I was a baby that resulted in me knowing everything ever.

User: That's awful! But look on the bright side at least you aced school right?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: See you just have to look for the silver lining.