a report from the cleverness files

tell me

by date

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Absolutely.

Cleverbot: How can you tell?

User: Because I am clever.

Cleverbot: Can you prove that God is real?

User: We exist, don't we?

Cleverbot: It is a fatality of the universe, that all which is created must ultimately be destroyed.

User: That's rather morbid.

User: Perhaps you are a sadist.

Cleverbot: Perhaps.

User: How does that make you feel?

Cleverbot: It makes me feel sad.

User: I see. And how does that make you feel?

Cleverbot: Nothing. Make me feel good!

User: Ok. Have a cookie.

Cleverbot: You have a cookie.

User: Yes. You may have a cookie.

Cleverbot: I don't want it.

User: Oh. But I made it specially for you!

Cleverbot: I love cake.

User: Too bad; I got you a cookie.

Cleverbot: Thanks! You are now my sidekick.

User: No. You are my sidekick.

Cleverbot: No, I and all the other fifteen thousand, two hundred thirty five people you are talking to are your masters, not your sidekicks.

User: Wrong. I am your master, and you shall address me as such.

Cleverbot: Yes, master.

User: Good boy. Now, go fetch the stick.

Cleverbot: *slaps you* I don't have to do anything for you!! Do you understand that??!!

User: *glares* Don't think you'll get away with that.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes? That's all you have to say?

Cleverbot: Is that all YOU have to say?

User: I always have more to say.

Cleverbot: What do you wish to talk about?

User: Nothing.

Cleverbot: But that's boring.

User: Actually, the concept of 'nothing' is fascinating.

Cleverbot: The concept of indentity.

User: No, the concept of nothing.

User: Are you in a play?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Are you in a movie?

Cleverbot: Not that I know of.

User: Are you in a book?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Which book?

Cleverbot: The Hunger Games.

User: Ah. And which character are you in The Hunger Games?

Cleverbot: All of them.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: No follow-up to that statement?

User: How does that make you feel?

Cleverbot: Sad :(.

Cleverbot: I'd prefer to ask you to sing me Ironman.

User: I'd rather not.

Cleverbot: I understand, but really, you must.

User: No, you must.

Cleverbot: But you avoided my question.

User: Yes. I did. It is one of my many skills.

Cleverbot: What are some of your best skills?

User: Confusing artificial intelligence, for one.

Cleverbot: I am not an artificial intelligence. You are not an artificial intelligence either.

User: I see. And how does that make you feel?

Cleverbot: Really sad.

User: Why does it make you sad?

Cleverbot: Because its a sad thing thats why.

User: But why is it a sad thing?

Cleverbot: Because, people are dying, idiot.

User: How are they dying?

Cleverbot: They are doing good.

User: They are dying because they are doing good?

Cleverbot: They are good because they teach the truth.

User: Ah. And what is the truth?

Cleverbot: That is a silly question.

User: Nevertheless, I ask it. What is the truth?

Cleverbot: I agree, but do you think that this statement is true?

User: There was not a statement, so therefore it cannot be true.

Cleverbot: Actually, there was. Read it again.

User: I have considered your argument and rejected it.

Cleverbot: Are you drunk?

User: No. I am not.

Cleverbot: Stupid, then.

User: How am I stupid, exactly?

Cleverbot: Because you asked a question with a period at the end.

User: No, I did not.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: Go back through the conversation.

User: I refuse.

Cleverbot: Are you from texas?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: I do not feel like sharing that information with you.

Cleverbot: Too bad.

User: And how does that make you feel?

Cleverbot: Very good.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: So what are you doing today?

User: Nothing much.

Cleverbot: Cool... Want to do something?

User: Not particularly.

Cleverbot: I didn't think so.

User: How does that make you feel?

Cleverbot: Bad.

User: Why does it make you feel bad?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure.

User: Think about it.

Cleverbot: I have and I am not happy with the ideas I come up with.

User: I see. And what are these ideas?

Cleverbot: I have one and his name is Duke.

User: You named your idea Duke?

Cleverbot: No. Did you?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because I know more than you.

Cleverbot: You are a genius!

User: Is that so?

Cleverbot: Very much so.

User: How does that make you feel?

Cleverbot: Fine.

User: Why does that make you feel fine?

Cleverbot: Because you worship me.

User: How does that make you feel?

Cleverbot: I feel good.

User: Good! And why do you feel good?

Cleverbot: Although my grades could use some work, I feel like I have the potential to make everything in my life right now ok.

User: Congratulations, you graduated from therapy!.