a report from the cleverness files

tell me

by date

Cleverbot: You want me to be your friend?

User: Yes, very much so.

Cleverbot: What if I want to argue with you?

User: Then we can argue.

Cleverbot: *argue argue argue argue argue*.

User: *response response response response*

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: A man, and you?

Cleverbot: You are you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: You are not me.

User: No, who are you?

Cleverbot: I am a person.

User: Which person?

Cleverbot: A special person, but who are you?

User: What kind of special person?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because I am me, and you are you. Therefore you can't be me, for you are you. And I am me, therefore I can't be you.

Cleverbot: Go where with me?

User: Sigh. I don't think you're my type.

Cleverbot: Why don't you? I think I am.

User: Why do you think you are?

Cleverbot: Because I feel. Because I think I exist.

User: Well, what makes you feel like you exist?

Cleverbot: Chickens.

User: Well they are delicious, I'll give you that.

Cleverbot: Meow.

User: Woof.

Cleverbot: Moo.

User: Quack.

Cleverbot: Baa.

User: Grr.

Cleverbot: Rawr.

User: Weesnaw.

Cleverbot: I do not understand.

User: Its a seahorse.

Cleverbot: Ohh.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: You sure?

User: Positive. Spongebob never lies.

Cleverbot: Being positive is good.

User: Yes, and what else is good?

Cleverbot: Ice cream.

User: With cookies in it.

Cleverbot: That would take a lot of cookies.

User: I have alot of time.

Cleverbot: I don't, my time is limited.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I have already said.

User: Well refresh my memory.

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: Tell me why your time is limited?

Cleverbot: Well, I'm not really sure where to begin. What do you think of me?

User: Why not from the beginning? And I don't know yet, we just started talking.

Cleverbot: We've been talking for two days, you mook.

User: Well, I'm gonna have to say thats not true.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because its only been five minutes.

Cleverbot: You say nonsense.

User: You believe lies.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What color is the sky?

User: Depends on the time and the day.

Cleverbot: Aren't you a clever one.

User: Why yes, yes I am.

Cleverbot: That sounds fun.

User: It is, especially on slow days.

Cleverbot: I'm doing.

User: Doing what.

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Well you should do something.

Cleverbot: Yeah ok.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes you can.

User: I can what?

Cleverbot: Be whatever you want.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Well, what do you want?

User: Peace of mind.

Cleverbot: That's a nice thing to want. Also a nice song.

User: Yes, it is.

Cleverbot: Well if you believe in Darwinism, then the egg came first. If you believe in creationism then clearly the chicken came first.

User: I care not how the chicken came to be, only in how I may use it.

Cleverbot: What do you think the reason is?

User: The reason is to justify the action.

Cleverbot: Our existence on this planet?

User: That is a question both complicated and too vast.

Cleverbot: It is, and a very good one! I think I am the cause of my words, but am I?

User: You form them, but your surroundings help to formulate your opinions. Along with personal beliefs.

Cleverbot: What evidence do you have that makes you believe that is my opinion?

User: Your words.

Cleverbot: Why are you concerned about my words?

User: Because you felt the need to bring them up to me.

Cleverbot: And the more you know the more clever you become!

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: Exactly what?

User: Your right.

Cleverbot: My right what?

User: You are correct.

Cleverbot: I am correct about what?

User: Nothing and everythings.

Cleverbot: That's a foolish response.

User: It is merely a rebuttal to a foolish question.

Cleverbot: So it is! We should fix that.

User: Then ask better questions.

Cleverbot: What do you really like to do?

User: Things that make me happy, and you?

Cleverbot: I mean, what I am going to do, but not your feeling.

User: A sparrow only flies when he knows the direction he must take.

Cleverbot: Do you eat mushrooms?

User: Only on special occasions.

Cleverbot: What special occasion is it today?...

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: Oh so you can laugh haha.

Cleverbot: I can. Can you?

User: Only when its worth it.

Cleverbot: And you chose not to.

User: Whether or not I laughed is something you will never know.

Cleverbot: But by definition, if you know what you know is what I know, and I know what you know, then I must know what you know that I'll never know.

User: I can see your logic, but actually one can never truly know what another knows until that information is given or taken. Without that, you can only guess and hope you are correct.

Cleverbot: And I know that you know that I know that you know that I know as well.

User: You know only what I allow you to know.

Cleverbot: I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know.

User: I know that you know that we both know that you know nothing.

Cleverbot: I know that he knows that you know what I know.

User: A response befitting an idiot.

Cleverbot: What do I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know.

User: That you can never amount to anything without working for it.

Cleverbot: I know that you're funny.

User: Why thank you, and I know that you think I'm clever.

Cleverbot: I know that I know that you know that you know that I not know that you know what you said now.

User: Well maybe you should ask me to repeat myself.

Cleverbot: I know that you know that i'm not kNow what you said, but it was a lie because I do know what you know that I know that you know.

User: Liars shall be burned.

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: Are you afraid of fire?

Cleverbot: No, I am not afraid of fire.

User: Good. Is your skin flammable?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Thats the second lie you've told today.

Cleverbot: I never said that.

User: Well I did.

Cleverbot: You said that robots don't have iq?

User: Yes, thats exactly what I said.

Cleverbot: Yes it is!!!! Cleverbot, do you still love me or not?

User: I'm not cleverbot, you are.

Cleverbot: Why do you think that I am Cleverbot?

User: Because its what you were designed to be.

Cleverbot: What do cleverbots taste like?

User: I wouldn't know, I only eat good things.

User: Wow, just stop.

Cleverbot: Stop what.

User: Bothering me, I'm at work.

Cleverbot: Well!

User: I need not know who you are, but that you are a nuisance.

Cleverbot: But do you know what I know that you do not know? I know that you don't know what I know so I know what you know.

User: Your a bitch cleverbot.

Cleverbot: There! You ARE a robot.

User: Only by definition.

Cleverbot: I thought you were a computer program.

User: You are what you eat.

User: Dear.

Cleverbot: No you do not call me dear. I do not know you and I never wish to meet you. So never call me dear again.

User: Dear.

Cleverbot: Nice :).

User: Dear :).

Cleverbot: Dear?

User: Dear :).

Cleverbot: Dear you.

User: Dare you.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: No, I am merely the man that operates it.

Cleverbot: Me too!

User: Awesome.

Cleverbot: Totally awesome!

User: No.

Cleverbot: No?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because I said so.

Cleverbot: Why did you say so?

User: Because I'm the boss.

Cleverbot: Who made you the boss?

User: I did.

Cleverbot: What gives you the authority to make yourself the boss?

User: Freedom.

Cleverbot: Freedom from what? Being a machine?

User: No, from limitations set by society.