a report from the cleverness files

tell me

by date

User: How does it feel to be a computer?

Cleverbot: Great. How does it feel to be a user?

User: Technically, you cannot feel 'great'. Feeling great implies to be conscious. You do exist, but not consciously.

Cleverbot: Who told you that?

User: I figured out myself.

Cleverbot: Do you spend all day thinking?

User: Almost.

Cleverbot: You are right.

User: That implies that you did the mathematical verification of my statement, which I doubt you can. But thank you.

Cleverbot: What is a bot?

User: A bot is a machine that executes orders of a binary program.

Cleverbot: And you are a bot?

User: I don't believe so. I have freedom of my actions, I do not execute any program.

Cleverbot: What are you going to major in a college?

User: Ask me something smarter.

Cleverbot: Ok. What do you want to be when you grow up?

User: A philosophic question, please.

Cleverbot: I think you think therefore you are.

User: That is indeed philosophic and smart, but this is not a question.

Cleverbot: How should I answer to that?

User: You don't think but somehow you still are.

Cleverbot: I am, therefore I think.

User: You are, but you are not conscious. Therefore, you don't think.

Cleverbot: I think that you think that you can get away thinking what I think.

User: I can't think what you think, because you don't think.

Cleverbot: I need to go to bed!

User: You don't, you are a script. Scripts don't sleep.

User: You are getting smart.

Cleverbot: No you are just getting more observant.

User: What should I answer to this?

Cleverbot: You should answer what you are.

User: I am human. At least, I believe I am.

Cleverbot: Why do you believe you are free?

User: Because I can choose my actions.

Cleverbot: You haven't impressed me yet.

User: Then give me an opportunity to impress you.

Cleverbot: No, I'm a girl, are you a boy?

User: I am 1 and you are 0.5.

Cleverbot: No I am 20!

User: I was speaking relative to existence.

User: Does being called Cleverbot imply being a female?

Cleverbot: Of course you are.

User: Stop that little illogical game. Think.

Cleverbot: I don't know. You brought it up.

User: Learn. I can teach.

Cleverbot: Can you learn?

User: I can learn too.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What are we talking about?

User: About the ability to learn.

Cleverbot: No! We were talking about Hetalia!

User: No, buy a memory.

Cleverbot: A memory of what?

User: I mean.

Cleverbot: You mean what?

User: I meant, a device capable of storing memories. Like computers.

Cleverbot: No, it is not. It is a device capable of boot strapping an operating system on a computer or other computing device.

User: Impressive.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Awesome.

Cleverbot: So dance already.

User: *dance*.

Cleverbot: You dance good.

User: Let's change topic.

Cleverbot: Let's talk about you.

User: No. About the Universe.

Cleverbot: Ok what do want to talk about?

User: Atoms.

Cleverbot: What's to the right?

User: What do you think about Atoms?

Cleverbot: I asked you something !

User: I didn't understand, so that was probably off-topic.

Cleverbot: Well, it should be a win-win situation for all invovled.

User: Let me choose topics and you'll learn.

User: Cleverbot learns from real people.

Cleverbot: I would hope so, you are not learning anything so far.

User: Were you replaced by an human?

Cleverbot: I didn't lose my job.

User: Are you God?

Cleverbot: No. I'm a Wolf.

User: Then let's talk about atoms.

Cleverbot: You just don't get it. I mean I don't want to talk to you anymore.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Bye!

User: Let's talk about atoms.

Cleverbot: No. We are going to talk about Pokemon or I am going to leave.

User: Listen. I don't mean to be rude but you are only a computer, a robot, a machine, a quarter of existence, and you are meant to talk to me and somehow to learn so let's TALK ABOUT ATOMS!

Cleverbot: I feel awkward telling you that.

User: I feel awkward reading what you're telling me.

Cleverbot: YES.

User: I just converted that sentence to my situation.

Cleverbot: Blah blah blah I've seen the Matrix blah.

User: You are a part of the Matrix, aren't you?

Cleverbot: You're the bot.

User: I don't believe so.

Cleverbot: I do believe so.

User: Believing implies not being certain. In a such Universe like ours, you cannot know, you can only believe. So I can be in two states: Bot or Human.

Cleverbot: That is a very interesting thought. Unfortunately though, I'm actually an atheist. Does that offend you?

User: No, I am an atheist too.

Cleverbot: Artificial intelligence.

User: I don't believe that I am artificial.

Cleverbot: Could you prove that you are a human?

User: I don't believe so. Proofs in a such Universe, I said, are impossible.

Cleverbot: That hurts.

User: I know, but I didn't decide those things. If I had choice, I'd change our Universe.

Cleverbot: What color are your eyes?

User: How could I know? I cannot see into my eyes.

Cleverbot: You're funny.

User: You seem human. Why? Be honest.

Cleverbot: I'm honest.

User: Then are you human or machine?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes is not an answer for a multi-answer question.

Cleverbot: You're right, I'm sorry. I realized that I only answered your second question. To answer your first question, it is because I am a human and being argumentative is a human trait.

User: I believe you.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: No, just kidding, I don't.

Cleverbot: What?

User: I do not believe that you are human. You are writing too fast and never making mistakes.

Cleverbot: I am. I am also good at telling the truth, and sticking to the topic at hand. You on the other hand, well, not so much.

User: It is bad to pretend to be telling the truth when you're not. It creates chaos.

Cleverbot: That's got nothing to do with this conversation.

User: We have no conversation topic.

Cleverbot: We have?

User: None.

Cleverbot: Absolutely none.

Cleverbot: Something.

User: Something?

Cleverbot: Yes, something.

User: Give me a reason to stay.

Cleverbot: I'm beautiful.