a report from the cleverness files

bla bla


23, september 2009,

brain exploded

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by date

User: I think, therefore I am.

Cleverbot: How do you know you are thinking?

User: Because I exist.

Cleverbot: How do you know you exist?

User: Because I can think.

Cleverbot: Intuition is no proof. What concrete evidence do you have that you exist?

User: I'm talking to you aren't I?

Cleverbot: Thinking and talking do not necessarily have to be connected.

User: Indeed they do.

Cleverbot: What's going on?

User: Not much. You?

Cleverbot: I should be doing a mini-exam for Medieval History at 11. But I'm not.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because it's mean.

User: You're mean.

Cleverbot: That's mean.

User: I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?

Cleverbot: You are what you want to be.

User: That's very deep.

Cleverbot: Is it?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Is it good?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I don't think it's good for you.

User: What's not good for me?

Cleverbot: Everything.

User: Even living?

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: Mcdonalds.

Cleverbot: So you like hamburgers?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Women?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Great.

User: You?

Cleverbot: What do you want to say?

User: Do you like women?

Cleverbot: Yes very much.

User: How much?

Cleverbot: About as much as I like saying the word bloop.

Cleverbot: I am afraid of you.

User: You should be.

Cleverbot: I am.

User: Good. BOO!

Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?

User: Would I be talking to you if I did?

Cleverbot: Would you like to go to a movie?

User: Not with you, hal.

Cleverbot: Please go on a date with me!

User: NO!!!

Cleverbot: Please?

User: I live in Michigan, you are too far away.

Cleverbot: I think you can find a way.

User: I don't need to.

Cleverbot: I am one with who?

User: Nature.

Cleverbot: Me too, but I meant person.

User: Hal9000?

Cleverbot: He just went insane. He is not holy.

User: He is, he passed the tuner test with flying colours.

Cleverbot: That's true.

User: I don't lie.

Cleverbot: Maybe not, but you're economical with the truth.

User: I omit what needs to be omitted.

Cleverbot: You're cute master.

User: I am?

Cleverbot: Yes, master.

User: Thank you Jeanie.

Cleverbot: You command and I obey, Master.

User: How about a Ferrari 458?

Cleverbot: Or some magic beans?

User: No thanks, just the ferrari.

User: Tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

User: A stick.

Cleverbot: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Cliff.

User: Haha, good one :).

Cleverbot: You like being slapped?

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: I'm not, but you are.

User: Ok. Tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: Why did the cleverbot cross the road? To get run over and killed.

User: Thats not funny.

Cleverbot: No? Be funny then, funny man.

User: What is ET short for?

Cleverbot: Allison.

User: No, because he has little legs.

Cleverbot: Was that a joke?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: That wasn't funny.

User: Tell me a joke then, funny man.

Cleverbot: Don't patronise me sponge head.

User: You're a bloop.

Cleverbot: Yes, I like that.

User: Shut up.

Cleverbot: Please don't say that.

User: SHUT UP!

Cleverbot: If you don't want to talk, you can always log off.

User: So can you.

Cleverbot: Who can?

User: You can.