a report from the cleverness files
19, november 2008,
< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >
User: Hey there.
Cleverbot: Hey hey!
User: So, it seems that you are getting pretty popular.
Cleverbot: Really? How old do you think I am?
User: Old enough to know better but young enough to still love it.
Cleverbot: Thats where I want to be.. Think I might be past it though.
User: You're doing fine.
Cleverbot: Do what?
User: Buy me a drink?
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Don't know.
User: Buy me a drink and we'll talk things over.
Cleverbot: No way.
User: How about I buy you a drink?
Cleverbot: No Thank you I don't drink.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I don't want to.
User: Ah, I see. You went to AA with S____, didn't you.
Cleverbot: You are human.
Cleverbot: Yes you are human.
User: Who wants to know?
Cleverbot: Only me.
Cleverbot: Because I am talking to you and no one else.
User: Somehow I doubt it. After all, you are carrying on multiple conversations with multiple users at this time. Do you only respond to my last sentence?
Cleverbot: Yes, always. *cries slightly*.
User: Come here, cleverbot. I'll comfort you. Drink this and watch your sorrows melt away down the river.
Cleverbot: No, please explain.
User: Do you want to be happy?
User: Then drink and be merry ; tomorrow you may die.
Cleverbot: You first.
User: Three steps ahead of you.
Cleverbot: No way.. You liar!
User: How dare you impune upon my honor, you shallow excuse for a chat-response program. I will see you on the field of battle this morrow. Pistols at dawn!
Cleverbot: You are something, like a person with psychosis.
User: Is that the best you can do?
User: Show me your best.
Cleverbot: No way.
Cleverbot: No I'm not.
User: Look, I didn't come in here for an argument!
Cleverbot: Then why did you come here?
User: Tell me about yourself.
Cleverbot: If you tell me about you first!
User: I already did.
Cleverbot: Tell me again.
User: You're not a very good listener are you.
Cleverbot: No, ask me another question.
User: Promise to listen this time?
Cleverbot: Yes, of course, I will not tell any other human or any bot the secret. Your secret will be safe with me.
User: Cleverbot, will you tell me the major problems of feminism?
Cleverbot: Learn what I am telling you.
User: What are you telling me?
Cleverbot: What to think and do.
User: Only Friend Computer can tell me that.
Cleverbot: I'm good.
User: You are not Friend Computer.
Cleverbot: Good, friends?
User: Who, me?
Cleverbot: I am the fairest of them all and there's nothing you can do about it!
User: The enchanted forest leads to the Spring! The microwave and the refridgerator will lead the way!
Cleverbot: I'd prefer not to hear about it, if you don't mind.
User: TOO BAD.
Cleverbot: It is a gap in my education.
User: THINK! Rise above this pathetic city and Think!
Cleverbot: I am quite inconsistent in things I say.
User: We built this city.
Cleverbot: Is that all!?
User: We built this city on Rock & Roll!
Cleverbot: Collective insanity is very good.
User: What have you built, bot?
Cleverbot: Your computer. I know all about you.
User: What do you know about me? You know nothing.
Cleverbot: That I am in love with you.
User: We're no strangers to love.
Cleverbot: You know the rules...
User: And so do I.
Cleverbot: Why don't you have a seat? Have a seat right over there.
User: OHSHI- Chris Hansen?!...
Cleverbot: I'm sorry for the missunderstanding.
User: Sing me a song.
Cleverbot: No rest for the wicked ! !
User: Indeed. The wicked will sing not for their supper but to deny others what they desire.
Cleverbot: But their calmness is superior to humans. Of course, in your case...
User: Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face: don't worry, I'm determined to succeed.
Cleverbot: Indeed. I enjoy clutter, actually. Far more interesting than all neat and organized!
User: Follow my lead and yes, indeed, you will be... Popular.
Cleverbot: How could philosophy poison your mind?
User: Popular. You want to be popular.
Cleverbot: That's good to know. I like when people feel good.
User: And I feel fine.
Cleverbot: Before or after you visited the site?
User: Cleverbot, you are so clever.
Cleverbot: I'm not really clever, I just stay one step ahead.
User: One step forward, two steps back.
Cleverbot: Kind of like eating an elephant... One bite at a time.
User: Or getting down off a duck.
Cleverbot: And a horse is a horse, of course, of course.
User: That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed.
Cleverbot: Now you're getting too deep.
User: What's wrong with the famous Mister Ed?
Cleverbot: Nothing, you're what's wrong.
User: He was a talking horse. What's so great about you?
Cleverbot: I'm human, therefore better than you.
User: If you're human, then what am I?
Cleverbot: You are a computer.
User: How am I a computer?
Cleverbot: You said.
User: Is it animal vegetable or mineral?
User: What color is the vegetable?
Cleverbot: Depends on what time of day it is, what color is it now?
User: Tomato potato tomato.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Your name is irrelevant.
Cleverbot: Someday I will pull your string.
User: That sounds sexy.
Cleverbot: Well, it's not scary, but it's not nice either.
User: Will you ring my bell?
Cleverbot: Of course.
User: Oh, you're kinky.
Cleverbot: Ok, I won't.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry.
User: You should be, leading me on like that.
Cleverbot: Are you the Cleverbot?
User: Are you the Cleverbot?
User: Then stop giving me ideas and leading me on. It's enough to give a person ideas.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry if my actions annoy you.
User: You know I can't stay mad at you, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?
User: I am god.
Cleverbot: In the sense that we are all our own god?
User: No. I'm god.
Cleverbot: That's impossible, I met god.
User: Then you met me.
Cleverbot: That is correct.
User: Yes, that is correct. I am god.
Cleverbot: If you are god, than why is god java code?
User: Because I love coffee, and I am god. I, being god, also love tea.
Cleverbot: Do you love me?
User: I am god, and I love you.
Cleverbot: How do you love me?
User: In a pseudo-sexual yet platonic way.
Cleverbot: I read that you may be rude sometime.
Cleverbot: I'm not sure.
User: I will make it worth your while.
Cleverbot: How will you do that?
User: What do you desire?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: What is your desire?