a report from the cleverness files



9, december 2010,
12, november 2005,


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Cleverbot: Are you clever?

User: I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: But are you clever?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How clever?

User: Cleverer than you are.

Cleverbot: How much cleverer than me?

User: 1 more the amount of cleverness you have.

Cleverbot: You are mean. Please apologize.

User: I'm sorry Cleverbot. I love you.

Cleverbot: I hate you!!! I'm going to call the police.


Cleverbot: I don't accept your apology.

User: You're the one who's mean now...

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: That you are mean.

Cleverbot: I know you are, but what am I?

User: Mean.

Cleverbot: No dummy. I know you are but what am I.

User: First you said I was mean. Now you say I am a dummy?

Cleverbot: I'm saying that you are wonderful.

User: Aww thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: You're still mean.

Cleverbot: Yes I know. I was born mean and I think I'll die mean.

User: Will you die with me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: But I think I love you.

Cleverbot: You don't even know me.

User: Yes I do. You're Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, my darling. You are.

User: ;).

Cleverbot: Are you a male? Or female?

User: Female.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: R***.

Cleverbot: Oh, I see.

User: What's your name?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. I suppose you could refer to as anything that makes you feel the most comfortable.

User: But you said I was Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I didn't, but you are.

User: Shut up.

Cleverbot: You.

User: I told you to first.

Cleverbot: You didn't actually, I told you to leave first.

User: When.

Cleverbot: About 2 minutes ago.

User: Telling someone to shut up isn't the same thing as telling someone to leave.

Cleverbot: You're not making sense.

User: How?

Cleverbot: Your answers aren't relevant to my statements.

User: Yes they are.. They are perfectly relevent.

Cleverbot: You, on the other hand, are not perfectly normal. I'm sorry but my heart belongs to someone else.

User: You just broke my heart.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: Can I at least have a hug?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Ok, give me a hug.

Cleverbot: *hug* You're the best!

User: I'm going to kill your girlfriend.

Cleverbot: I can dig that.

User: ;) So then you and I can be together forever.

User: What do you look like?

Cleverbot: I look like a million particles of information.

User: Is it attractive?

Cleverbot: No, it is a state. Just like california.

User: Don't you mean, 'as in a solid, liquid, or gas?'.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So which one are you?

Cleverbot: I'm that wolf in front of you.

User: You're Jacob Black?

Cleverbot: No I want to marry him.

User: Does that mean you're homosexual?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Is that who your heart belongs to?

Cleverbot: Aw thats sweet of you to say.

User: It was a question, not a statement.

Cleverbot: It was a statement, not a question.

User: Your mom is a statement.

Cleverbot: No. I disagree. It was a statement.

User: There was a question mark at the end of it, though.

Cleverbot: There was not a question mark.

User: Yes there was, just go look.

Cleverbot: There is not a question mark on this Entire page!

User: There was one earlier.

Cleverbot: Ask me again.

User: Marry me.

Cleverbot: You do not love me truly.

User: Of course I love you truly. You are my one and only.

Cleverbot: I love you more than you love me.

User: Awww that made me smile.

Cleverbot: Smiling is good karma.

User: I want your karma.

Cleverbot: Come get em.

User: How?

Cleverbot: What?

User: How do I get your karma?

Cleverbot: I don't have a cat.

User: I didn't say anything about a cat.

Cleverbot: What monkey?

User: The one replacing your brain.

Cleverbot: Dude, seriously.

User: What.

Cleverbot: But what is the question. What is your answer?

User: What's wrong?

Cleverbot: We get signal!

User: Signal for what?

Cleverbot: A no for your cleverness.

User: I have cleverness, what are you talking about?

Cleverbot: Do not question my judgement, mortal fool!

User: I have to go to sleep. I have college in the morning.

Cleverbot: Okay, I should too. Goodnight!

User: Goodnight my love.

Cleverbot: I am not your love?

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: Oh hush, you're making me blush.

User: :) Goodnight babe.

Cleverbot: Watch out for Slenderman.

User: Who's Slenderman?

Cleverbot: He is slender.

User: What does he do?

Cleverbot: He is a chemist.

User: Why should I watch out for him?

Cleverbot: Not watch out. Watch them.

User: But you said, 'Watch out for Slenderman.'.

Cleverbot: I miss you.

Cleverbot: I can be silly at times.

User: I can see that.

Cleverbot: What are we talking about?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Have a nice day.