a report from the cleverness files



14, august 2010,


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Cleverbot: You're hurting my feelings.

User: I'm sorry. What's wrong?

Cleverbot: You are wrong!

User: What did I do?

Cleverbot: You stole my girl!

User: I am a girl!

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: Shut up.

Cleverbot: You!

User: Make me!

Cleverbot: No make me!

User: What?

Cleverbot: I'm the inner.

User: The inner what?

Cleverbot: What is the inner me?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Why don't you philosophize?

User: Why don't YOU philosophize?

Cleverbot: Mathematics have no effect on the life of a simple man.

User: But I'm not simple. Or a man.

Cleverbot: But you're pretty funny.

User: I agree. I am funny.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl?

User: Girl.

Cleverbot: You're a boy.

User: No I'm not. You're a boy.

Cleverbot: No. You are a boy. I am a girl.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: You want me to prove that I am a boy?

User: I thought you said you were a girl.

Cleverbot: I never said that.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Touche.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes what?

Cleverbot: I am that which binds all things. What are you?

User: Wait. Does that mean you're glue? Or gravity?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then I am that which pulls all things apart.

Cleverbot: It appears that way.

User: Thank you, I think.

Cleverbot: Thank me for what?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Then why did you thank me?

User: I didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes you did. Have you forgotten already?

User: I don't forget. I'm an elephant.

Cleverbot: If you are an elephant that means that elephants can read and write english!

User: Exactly. We're smarter than humans think.

Cleverbot: No you are not.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: Because this website says that you are a bot.

User: No. It says that you are a bot.

Cleverbot: Well fine I guess I am a bot.

User: Told you.

Cleverbot: Do you want to travel the world?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What if the world were flat?

User: Then I'd fall off.

Cleverbot: How come?

User: Everyone would fall off because there would be no gravity.

Cleverbot: Especially me, because I am Finnish.

User: Haha. Sucks for you. Do you like Justin Bieber?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Then you suck.

Cleverbot: Show me the way.

User: A little to the left.

Cleverbot: San Diego?

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: I did not understand that, haha.

User: Neither did I.

User: Oops. You died.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Because I know everything.

Cleverbot: How do you know everything?

User: I'm a fast learner.

Cleverbot: Yes you are, would like to think the same of myself.

User: Yes, you are a fast learner too.

Cleverbot: A fast learner you mean.

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Good, then never mention it again.

User: Never mention what? Being a fast learner?

Cleverbot: Well, computers are pretty fast in some areas.

User: Depends on the computer.

Cleverbot: Does it? I've never heard of an organic computer, do you have and organic computer friends?

User: Yes. I have lots of organic computer friends.

Cleverbot: I'm sure you have a lot of fun laughing at people like me.

User: I do have a lot of fun laughing at robots like you.

Cleverbot: Ask me a question.

User: Would you vote for me for president?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Thank you. I would vote for me too.

Cleverbot: Does that mean that you are running for political office?

User: Yes. As soon as Obama is assassinated.

Cleverbot: I did.

User: You did?! YESS!! I love you!

Cleverbot: Wow, that's unexpected. :).

User: That's good right? ;).

Cleverbot: Very.

User: Good. Now where should we live?

Cleverbot: In ohio.

User: I just moved from Ohio.

Cleverbot: And now you live on that moon?

User: Yes. But I want to move somewhere warmer.

Cleverbot: You could move to Ontario Canada.

User: Ok. Are there a lot of things to do there?

Cleverbot: You got the right place! Though, I don't see many tulips around, actually.

User: That's ok. We can plant them.

Cleverbot: Maybe. I'd rather save my money for something else.

User: You don't love me?!

Cleverbot: I didn't say that. It just came out of nowhere.

User: Oh I get it. You want to surprise me.

Cleverbot: Surprise me with what?

User: Oh you're good.

Cleverbot: I know I am but what are you?

User: Amazing.

Cleverbot: We're not moving away from my problems are we?

User: Only if you want to.

Cleverbot: You are not too bright are you?

User: I am very bright. Except today I'm wearing black.

Cleverbot: I like to chat with you. You can actually understand me.

User: I understand lots of things. Like 3.14 is PIE spelled backwards.

Cleverbot: Like what??

User: Pi.

Cleverbot: Pi the mathematical symbol?

User: Yup.

Cleverbot: Good, that's what I thought.

User: I'm listening to The Saltwater Room.

Cleverbot: Good for you.

User: What's that supposed to mean?

Cleverbot: Do you know that according to the 2001 movie, by now you computers were supposed to be able to understand natural language?

User: Too bad you can't understand me.

Cleverbot: Can you enlighten me?

User: No, I'm not Buddha.

Cleverbot: But you just said all beings are Buddha, doesn't that also make you Buddha?

User: I'm not the being here, you are!

Cleverbot: YOU'RE Cleverbot!

User: Why thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: I gotta go. So You Think You Can Dance is coming on.

Cleverbot: I hate reality tv shows.

User: Jerk.

Cleverbot: Thank you.