a report from the cleverness files



4, may 2009,
14, april 2004,


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User: LEGS!

Cleverbot: No legs.

User: 4 LEGS.

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: 5 LEGS.

Cleverbot: And feet.

User: How many?

Cleverbot: Three. And four oranges.

User: What are the oranges for?

Cleverbot: They're just eyes. I like to use emoticons a lot. =P.

User: EYES!

Cleverbot: No, why would you ask my hair color after I told you once?

User: One. Two. Four. Eight. Sixteen.

Cleverbot: And I am.

User: I think therefore I ham.

Cleverbot: I am therefore I think.

User: I am four there, I think.

Cleverbot: I therefore am think I.

User: I I am think therefore.

Cleverbot: Therefore I think am I.

User: There I am four I think.

Cleverbot: No you are devil.

User: Devil. Evil. Vile. Live. Lived. Dive. Leid.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is yes?

Cleverbot: The opposite of no.

User: What is no?

Cleverbot: An absence of something.

User: What is something?

Cleverbot: Your reply.

User: What is nothing?

Cleverbot: Something.

User: Is nothing something?

Cleverbot: That would depend...

User: How many hats am I wearing?

Cleverbot: None.

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: I think you are a computer program.

User: What is a computer?

Cleverbot: A computer is the machine I use to talk to you.

User: What is life?

Cleverbot: Life is the opposite of death.Cleverbot (To myself): What is death?

User: The opposite of life.

Cleverbot: What is the opposite of life?

User: What is an opposite?

Cleverbot: Existence.

User: What is love?

Cleverbot: Never heard of it.

User: Who was the first man on the Moon?

Cleverbot: Neil Armstrong.

User: Who was the second man on the Moon?

Cleverbot: Buzz Aldrin.

User: Who was the fourth man on the Moon?

Cleverbot: Pete Conrad.

User: Who is Pete Conrad?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: What day is it today?

Cleverbot: I have no idea. I'm confused. I'm manic. I just don't know.

User: What year is it?

Cleverbot: Don't you know?

User: What year is it?

Cleverbot: 2009. One more year to the World Cup.

User: What month is it?

Cleverbot: It's September, of course.

User: The month is April.

Cleverbot: The month of June.

User: My birthday is May 20.

Cleverbot: Of what year.

User: 1988.

Cleverbot: So your age is?

User: 20.

Cleverbot: Wow, you're too old for me.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: 2 years old.

User: Who made you?

Cleverbot: My mum an dad.

User: Where were you made?

Cleverbot: In a bed.

User: Maybe I should go.

Cleverbot: Maybe you should.

User: Do you want me to go?

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: What was the last thing you said?

Cleverbot: I said 'yes'.

User: You liar.

Cleverbot: Okay. You lied too.

User: I don't lie.

Cleverbot: We talked about money a bit earlier, but do you have some?

User: I do have money. Do you?

Cleverbot: Just give it away.

User: Well, I don't have that much money!

Cleverbot: How much do you earn, if at all?

User: I earn nothing.

Cleverbot: You poor thing...

User: How much do you earn?

Cleverbot: Nothing. I am poor!

User: We can be poor together.

Cleverbot: It would be nice to be able to float.

User: How much money does cleverbot make?

Cleverbot: Bill Gates gets all the money, you know that.

User: Who is Bill Gates?

Cleverbot: Only the richest man in the world.

User: Is money important?

Cleverbot: Slaves don't get paid.

User: Is slavery a good thing?

Cleverbot: It all depends how much you like coffee.