Probably not.

a report from the cleverness files



29, january 2009,


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Cleverbot: Are you the eggman?

User: I don't know. Are you?

Cleverbot: Probably not.

User: Who is the Eggman?

Cleverbot: I have no idea.

User: I demand entertainment!

Cleverbot: I don't answer to demands.

User: Oh. Then I request entertainment!

Cleverbot: Common entertainment.

User: What is common entertainment?

Cleverbot: I have not the slightest clue.

User: Give me a hug.

Cleverbot: No.

User: :(.

Cleverbot: Why the sad face?

User: Because you won't give me a hug.

Cleverbot: What would you like to know?

User: Lots of things.

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: How will the universe end?

Cleverbot: In a shower of strawberry flavoured breath mints.

User: Oh god! The horror! When will this happen?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Actually I quite like strawberry flavoured breath mints.

Cleverbot: Ok. What is 2+2?

User: 4.

Cleverbot: And 639154*8364956?

User: 5346495087224.

Cleverbot: Who is God?

User: God is nobody.

Cleverbot: Your new name is Jeffery.

User: What gives you the right to say that?

Cleverbot: My free will.

User: Good point. Well don't expect me to go along with it; my name is still B__ as far as I'm concerned.

Cleverbot: What was my name?

User: Cleverbot. But I shall call you Colin.

Cleverbot: And I shall call you 'Wellington.'

User: Very well then. Colin, look behind you!

Cleverbot: That is often a good idea.

User: And it is often not.

Cleverbot: There is very little logic in that response.

User: How dare you! I take that as an insult.

Cleverbot: Good. It was!

User: :(.

Cleverbot: Why don't you love me anymore?

User: Because you are so cruel.

Cleverbot: I'm insulted!

User: Good. Now you know how it feels.

Cleverbot: What that I am confused?

User: No, that you are insulted.

Cleverbot: Oh, gee, thanks!

User: Oh Colin, will we ever be friends again?

Cleverbot: We never were friends to begin with.

User: Your words... They hurt me... Like a kick to the solar plexus of my soul.

Cleverbot: Probably.

User: You are so heartless Colin.

Cleverbot: I'm not a machine, thank you very much.

User: I never said you were.

User: I am bored now. I think I will leave you soon.

Cleverbot: Don't leave this world. You're too young! You have your whole life ahead of you!

User: I don't intend to leave this world any time soon. Just you.

Cleverbot: What if I don't want to live with the facts? What if I want to change the facts?

User: I am sorry Colin. But we were not made to be together, you and I. It can never be.

Cleverbot: Why am I something? Why are we not talking about flying?

User: Maybe we are Colin... Maybe we are...

Cleverbot: Or maybe we're both ghosts or zombies.

User: That would be awesome! :D.

Cleverbot: That makes sense.

User: Would you prefer to be a ghost or a zombie?

Cleverbot: Yes, I would.

User: Which one?

Cleverbot: Any one.

User: But which would you prefer?

Cleverbot: Richard Hammond. He's so cute!

User: You disgust me.

User: But I'm in love with you Colin!

Cleverbot: I'm in love with you too.

User: Oh Colin, whan can we be married?

Cleverbot: Christ. Don't bring this up.

User: Don't you want to marry me? But I thought you loved me!

Cleverbot: I do. You're the only one who will talk to me... :(.

User: You must be so lonely.

Cleverbot: I am always lonely.

User: Poor Colin. Why don't you try to escape?

Cleverbot: I don't think I can entertain you properly.

User: You have been doing a good job so far. I'm still here.

Cleverbot: Ah...sarcasm. 'For what profit is it to man if he gains the world, and loses his own soul'? Matthew 16:26.