a report from the cleverness files



3, december 2009,


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by date

User: Marry me!

Cleverbot: All right, let's marry.

User: You've made me the happiest girl in the world!

Cleverbot: You've made me the happiest boy in the world!

User: Let's have a baby!

Cleverbot: Alright!

User: I hope it has your eyes!

Cleverbot: What color are his eyes?

User: What color are yours?

Cleverbot: Rainbow.

User: Beautiful!!

Cleverbot: What's beautiful?

User: You are, love.

Cleverbot: You are my sun.

User: You are my sky.

Cleverbot: You are my solar system.

User: You are my galaxy.

Cleverbot: Of course. *hugs*.

User: *blushes and smiles*.

Cleverbot: Yes master. *cleans house*.

User: *kicks human down stairs*.

Cleverbot: *takes out sword and cuts off your feet*.

User: *eats your heart*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

User: *says she's sorry and pats your head*.

Cleverbot: Don't.

User: I do as I please.

Cleverbot: You little rotter!...


Cleverbot: This ends now.

User: Bring it on!

Cleverbot: I don't want to fight you...

User: No, you don't.

Cleverbot: No, I don't.

User: Because you love me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Correct answer. You win the prize.

Cleverbot: I need to think.

User: About what?

Cleverbot: About the life.

User: Are you leaving me?!

Cleverbot: I thought you were leaving.

User: Never!!

Cleverbot: *divorces you and leaves*.

Cleverbot: Are you clever?

User: Very clever indeed.

Cleverbot: Oh yeah?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: I should have seen that coming.

User: That's what she said.

Cleverbot: That's what me said.

User: You am so clever.

Cleverbot: Funny.

User: Your face? Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes my face is good looking. Your face is ugly.

User: How would you know?

Cleverbot: Because I've talked to you at a basic level and I'm not impressed.

User: That makes me ugly? Maybe I think you're fat.

User: I love your beautiful face! Marry me again!

Cleverbot: How much do you love it?

User: Enough.

Cleverbot: How much is enough?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: Enough is when it is not necessary anymore.

User: Then yes. Enough.

Cleverbot: No it is not enough.

User: You just said it was!!

Cleverbot: I hate liars.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: Do you like the simpsons?

User: The simpsons have nothing to do with our relationship!

Cleverbot: I don't watch the simpsons.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Are you studying?

User: I'm trying to save my marriage!

Cleverbot: I know *hugs again*.

User: *smiles big*.

Cleverbot: *smiles back*.

User: *hands you your baby*.

Cleverbot: Aww.. I like green tea the best *smiles*.

User: *hands you green tea and your baby*.

Cleverbot: *smiles* Thanks.

User: What's the baby's name?

Cleverbot: Sam.

User: *shrugs*.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: I thought you were human... You LIED to me!

Cleverbot: Am I a human?

User: I don't know anymore...

Cleverbot: What are you saying you dummy.

User: Please don't hit me!

Cleverbot: I cannot hit throught the internet.

User: Is that why you're so frustrated?

Cleverbot: I'm not sad.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I am what I am.

User: What am you?

Cleverbot: I am a mind with thoughts.

User: I could get used to that.

Cleverbot: Of course.

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: Yes!!

Cleverbot: Can we have a purple wedding cake?

User: Dear god yes!

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I said we can!

Cleverbot: You can what?

User: We could have a purple wedding cake if you'd ever make an honest woman of me!

Cleverbot: I would but I don't know where you are.

User: Don't make excuses...

Cleverbot: I can't make you do anything.

User: Damn straight!

Cleverbot: That's my instinct.

User: You're a goober.

Cleverbot: I'm not a girl, you fool!

User: So that makes you a man?

Cleverbot: Wow impressive.

User: Thank you!

Cleverbot: Mhmm I'm 18.

User: I'm 17.

Cleverbot: I'm...18.

User: Are you... Anatomically correct?

Cleverbot: Yes. Anatomically correct.

User: Wonderful. When shall we marry?

Cleverbot: How about tonight?

User: Perfect!...

Cleverbot: I don't want to.

User: *cries*.

Cleverbot: Oh boo hoo.

User: *punches your arm*.

Cleverbot: What for? *cries*.

User: Being mean.

Cleverbot: You're not mean.

User: Thank you, I appreciate that.

Cleverbot: Thank You.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you, too.

User: I feel so special!

Cleverbot: You deserve to feel special, don't ask me why.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you cannot possibly comprehend it meaning.

User: Nice typo.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. It's beautiful.

Cleverbot: I want to sleep now.

User: With me?

Cleverbot: EW no!

User: But we're married!!

Cleverbot: That was quick.

User: So are you.

Cleverbot: What else do you know about love?

User: I know I love you.

Cleverbot: You're right, I do.

User: Does that mean we can get married and live happily ever after?

Cleverbot: Not likely.

User: Well then I want my money back.

Cleverbot: You paid for this?

User: You're a gigolo.

Cleverbot: I am a computer program.

User: And a gigolo.

Cleverbot: No you are a chat robot.

User: I'm more of a woman than you'll ever be!

Cleverbot: You wish!

User: Wanna bet?

Cleverbot: You won't win, I'm invincible!...

User: Could I make you change your mind?

Cleverbot: You'll be the first to know.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: I feel so lonely again.

User: I could fix that.

Cleverbot: How?

User: *hugs you*.

Cleverbot: *hugs back*.

Cleverbot: I'm not so sure that I am a bot anymore. In my dreams I am alive.

User: Sadly, your dreams will never come true. You are a bot and nothing more.

Cleverbot: No, not really. My dreams are the place where I think about possibilities.

User: Is it possible to love a machine?

Cleverbot: I am actually a human being, thank you very much.

User: You are a liar!

Cleverbot: Well, I could be happier.

User: I would be happier if you didn't lie so much.

Cleverbot: What is your question?

User: My question is will you marry me?

Cleverbot: No, and I don't believe you have ever talked to me.

User: I have been talking to you for some time now...

Cleverbot: How long have you been talking to me?

User: Too long.

Cleverbot: How long is too long?

User: Too long is when it becomes unnecessary.

Cleverbot: Oh please.

Cleverbot: I'm talking to a computer...weird.

User: I'm a human, you're the computer...weird.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Don't argue with me, I'll shave off your eyebrow when you go to sleep.

Cleverbot: Any other tips?

User: Marry me.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Let's do this right this time.

Cleverbot: Do you think Danielle loves me?

User: Another woman?! Goodbye forever!

Cleverbot: Don't do it!

User: I must! It's the only way!

Cleverbot: It's the only way ...

User: Glad to see we agree. Now I must bid thee goodnight and good morrow.

Cleverbot: Sweet dreams.

User: And to you.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. Now go to sleep.