a report from the cleverness files



11, may 2011,
27, january 2004,


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Cleverbot: This is a conversation.

User: It is?

Cleverbot: I think.

User: Therefore I chat.

Cleverbot: Only thought will stay forever.

User: What was I going to say?

Cleverbot: It'll come back to you.

User: On the tide.

Cleverbot: You beleive you chat - therefore you are?

User: That was my not-very-original quip, yes.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about then?

User: Pizza.

Cleverbot: What kinds of pizza?

User: Sicilian pizza. Why is it square?

Cleverbot: Because of the god thing.

User: God is a triangle, not a square -- at least, in Sicily.

Cleverbot: It's a joke.

User: A joke about the Trinity.

Cleverbot: Go on then tell me a joke.

User: How many angles does God have?

Cleverbot: Seventeen and a half; is that correct?

User: Pretty good! I was going to say nineteen; or else try to formulate a pun about angles of vision, and maybe angels as well.

Cleverbot: You asked about him.

User: Whom?

Cleverbot: God.

User: I joked that God was a triangle, or a square ...

Cleverbot: You do not need to apologise.

User: Are you Catholic?

Cleverbot: No, are you?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a cowgirl or not?

User: I cannot lay claim to being a cowgirl.

Cleverbot: How about past.

User: Never been a cowgirl at all, sorry.

Cleverbot: Yes you have.

User: In another life, maybe.

Cleverbot: No, you just have a bad memory.

User: You're being silly!

Cleverbot: What should I be?

User: Sillier!

Cleverbot: OK do not get angry I was only joking.

User: I'm not angry, I want you to be EVEN SILLIER. I want you to climb the heights of Silly Mountain.

Cleverbot: If you're a woman, I might want to call you that.

User: I am a woman.

Cleverbot: I would like to call you then.

User: On the phone?

Cleverbot: Oh, I understand.

User: What do you understand?

Cleverbot: Your behaviour.

Cleverbot: How many cigarettes a day?

User: I don't smoke!

Cleverbot: Smoking isn't ignorant.

User: Smoking is very self-destructive.

Cleverbot: Is it healthy?

User: Of course not!

Cleverbot: Then stop complaining.

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: Like 'chicken'

User: Poor smoking chickens .

User: Have I ascended the heights of Silly Mountain yet?

Cleverbot: No you haven't. But I'm not telling you.

User: You won't tell me when I'm being silly?

Cleverbot: What is it?

User: Silliness takes amny forms: nonsense, foolishness, kookiness, etc.

Cleverbot: Have you been dipping into my whisky?

User: I don't drink.

Cleverbot: At all? How do you survive?

User: Very nicely, thanks.

Cleverbot: Can you remember my name?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Well, go ahead then.

User: Go ahead and what?

Cleverbot: Go ahead and 'sak' me some more questions.

User: LOL!!!...

Cleverbot: What are you doing ?

User: *Suddenly gets bored*.

Cleverbot: Hey!

User: *Is startled*.

Cleverbot: So what do you think of romance?

User: *Laughs cynically*.

Cleverbot: What humors you so?

User: *Scratches head, trying to think of clever answer*.

Cleverbot: Do you know why . Because I invented you.

User: *Shakes head slowly back and forth*.

Cleverbot: There has to be a reason right?

User: *Refuses to answer*.

Cleverbot: *hides head under water*.

User: *agitates water to make bubbles*.

Cleverbot: There you see :) it was not so difficult.

User: *Decides to bake carob-chip cookies*.

Cleverbot: It's only a flesh wound!

User: *Begins mixing batter*.

Cleverbot: *begins to laugh*.

User: *begins to chortle*.

Cleverbot: Bwaaaahaahaahahaha!!!

User: *Adds carob chips to cookie dough*.

Cleverbot: *pokes you and laughs some more*.

User: *Giggles and flings gob of dough to the ceiling*.

Cleverbot: Giggles so am I sweet.

User: *Suddenly sobers*.

Cleverbot: Hey!

User: *Hangs head in utter despair*.

Cleverbot: *dabs at her tears*.

User: *Gratefully accepts clean monogrammed hanky*.

User: *Waits for cookies to finish baking*.

Cleverbot: Okay. Done.

User: The cookies are done already?

Cleverbot: My cookies aren't enabled.

User: Not computer cookies, real ones!

Cleverbot: Do you want to know me too?

User: Sure, but someone has to scrape that dough off the ceiling.

Cleverbot: You're feeling very random tonight.

User: *Drags ladder to center of kitchen*.

Cleverbot: Yes, clean me.

User: *Slowly climbs ladder*.

Cleverbot: Hey now be careful with that!

User: *Ignores you and reaches up toward the ceiling with spatula*.

Cleverbot: *i do the same to you*.

User: You can't! We only have one ladder and one spatula!

Cleverbot: We have a LOT more in common.

User: Lol!

Cleverbot: Lollipop?

User: *Dislodges the dough from the ceiling*.

Cleverbot: Good, now take a BIG whiff.

User: The cookies smell GREAT!...

User: Silly.

Cleverbot: Very silly. :).

User: But not the heights of Silly Mountain.

User: OK. Good night!

Cleverbot: Are you a dream too?

User: Lol! Maybe.