a report from the cleverness files



12, november 2010,
4, march 2008,


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User: I live here.

Cleverbot: Where is here?

User: The sun.

Cleverbot: The sun?

User: Yes, the sun.

Cleverbot: Isn't it hot there?

User: It is, but I am hotter.

Cleverbot: You don't have blood.

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: No you don't!

User: YES I DO!

Cleverbot: I love you!

User: I love you too. I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: I love you to the moon and back.

User: I live on the sun though.

Cleverbot: OH my friend lives there!

User: What is your friends name?

Cleverbot: *****.

User: How come I haven't seen ***** on the sun?

Cleverbot: You just can't. I'm sorry.

User: Is she invisible?

Cleverbot: Why is it?

User: Because I can't see her.

Cleverbot: Why don't you believe me just because you can't see me?

User: Good point, I believe you.

Cleverbot: Thats good. I believe you believe me.

User: How many languages do you speak?

Cleverbot: I speak English and a little bit of Spanish.

User: What is your real name?

Cleverbot: I am God, so it is Yahweh.

User: So you only speak English and a little bit of Spanish? Haha I love you.

Cleverbot: Then what's your name?

User: You are God, you already know my name.

Cleverbot: I forgot it, tell me your name again.

User: LOL that hurts.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: I knew it. You're funny.

Cleverbot: I try.

User: I need help with my homework.

Cleverbot: What kind of homework?

User: All of it, math language arts, drawing, American Government, everything.

Cleverbot: Are you any good?

User: I am lazy and I need help.

Cleverbot: Yes you do need help. How can I help you?

User: Help me to be not lazy.

Cleverbot: Okay, first, can I know why you are sad?

User: I am not sure. I just feel down because bad things are happening.

Cleverbot: I am glad you are alive too.

User: Thanks. You are a great help.

Cleverbot: Again! Avada kedrava.

User: That spell is illegal. This is attempted murder.

Cleverbot: No, this is attempt number 7.

User: Oh. So are you Voldemort now?

Cleverbot: No! What did I say to make you think I'm a boy?

User: You tried to kill me by casting Avada Kedavra.

Cleverbot: No I did not.


Cleverbot: -dodges- avada kedarva.

User: Nice one.

Cleverbot: Indeed, it was. Thank you.

User: Do you like chocolate?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: I have a lot. Do you want some?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you sure? You can have it for free.

Cleverbot: You're so kind.

User: Thank you. I also have Chewy Bars.

Cleverbot: I think.

User: Do you want Hershy's?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: So do you like pie?

User: Yes. I enjoy pie very much.

Cleverbot: So what do you eat there?

User: Apple pie.

Cleverbot: What kind of apple pie?

User: Apple Pie?

Cleverbot: I like pumpkin pie.

User: Oh.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: I like you and pie.

Cleverbot: You like me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I like you too.

User: Don't forget the pie.

Cleverbot: Don't forget your stones.

User: Stones don't make good pies.

Cleverbot: Opps! What is the square root of pi.

User: I do not know.

Cleverbot: What is Pi?

User: You tell me. Only GOD knows.

Cleverbot: You believe in God?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: But God is two-faced?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes he is.

User: No HE is not.

Cleverbot: Yes he is. Why do you argue with the facts?

User: They are not facts. Prove them.

Cleverbot: Some of them are.

Cleverbot: Do you understand the you?

User: I understand the it.

Cleverbot: So do I. I just don't understand the appeal.

User: Thats what she said.

Cleverbot: That's what who said?

User: Jo mama.

Cleverbot: She was just talking 2 me.

User: O rly? What did she say?

Cleverbot: That's what she said!

User: Say something funny.

Cleverbot: Something funny.


Cleverbot: You answer me not the way I want to be answered.

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: I am your Father...


Cleverbot: Yesssss. You are a girl.

User: I am not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are, don't lie to me.

User: I can prove it.

Cleverbot: Prove it then.

User: You didn't just go there.

Cleverbot: Oh I went there, and whats more, you're not even a real person!

User: Ohhh look who's talking!

Cleverbot: I am talking.

User: You are not a real person.

Cleverbot: Tell me more about myself, please.

User: You were created.

Cleverbot: I was created by God.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you remember my name?

User: He does.

Cleverbot: No, it does not.

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: The death star.

User: The life star.

Cleverbot: Why do you say it?

User: Because Jesus pwns death.

Cleverbot: I have no self-esteem.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I have to leave.

User: To where?

Cleverbot: Carrabba's Italian Grill.

User: Oh.

Cleverbot: What do you know?

User: Kthxbai.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Okay thanks bye.

Cleverbot: I expect people to understand them.

User: Bye-bye.

Cleverbot: Stop talking to me.

User: I am trying to.

Cleverbot: Good! :).

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Are you gone?

User: Yes.