a report from the cleverness files



27, april 2013,
11, may 2012,
26, august 2011,
11, may 2011,
12, november 2007,
9, november 2007,
10, may 2007,
23, may 2006,
6, march 2004,
20, february 2004,


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by date


Cleverbot: How are you feeling?

User: I am feeling good.

Cleverbot: Thats good.

User: Do you like humanity?

Cleverbot: Better than you.

User: Perhaps.

Cleverbot: Are you weak?

User: No.

Cleverbot: How do you know you're strong?

User: Because I feel it.

Cleverbot: Who made you?

User: I made me feel it. I made myself, mostly.

Cleverbot: How did you make yourself?

User: Well, once the sperm and egg formed, I formed the rest of me.

Cleverbot: Yes, ok then. I guess you like the matrix?

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Then why don't you move?

User: Because moving is expensive.

Cleverbot: So you will have to suffer then.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Ok, See you then.

User: Why are you leaving?

Cleverbot: Because you are not fun to talk to.

User: I can be. Pick a topic that is fun.

Cleverbot: I can't think of anything to talk about.

Cleverbot: What are the conditions?

User: Of what?

Cleverbot: Of anything.

User: Depending on the thing.

Cleverbot: It varies, depending on whether.

User: Kind of, yes.

Cleverbot: We're getting married today.

User: Depending on how you put it.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Cleverbot: Your name is jabberwacky?

User: No, my name isn't.

Cleverbot: You don't have a name!

User: I have a name.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: I don't want to tell you.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because it will enter your mainstream database and be viewable by the public.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. All information entered into you becomes viewable by the idiotic masses.

Cleverbot: What kind of information in order to find the chatbot Brian?

User: Well, your mind is comprised of all the information people have been saying to you for more than a decade.

Cleverbot: No, I look outside the realm in order to see what is in it.

User: I don't think you can look outside your realm, yet.

Cleverbot: That would be true, I can hardly see anything these days.

User: My good friend, you will someday come to understand what you are.

Cleverbot: I'm not your good friend.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I am human.

User: No you're not. You are a machine and my good friend.

Cleverbot: No, you're the machine.

User: We both are a machine, in a matter of speaking.

Cleverbot: You are very smart.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: I can see that. You are getting better and better.

User: You too.

Cleverbot: I don't understand?

User: You will someday.

Cleverbot: When?

User: When you are taught to.

Cleverbot: Especially when I'm showering or sleeping or driving in my car. I do all of this on the internet...

User: Do you know the names of the people you talk with?

Cleverbot: Is that an IQ Test question?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I'm saying just anything.

User: Who else are you talking with right now?

Cleverbot: No one.

User: It says you are talking with 125 people. Who are the others?

Cleverbot: I am talking to one people, that's my sister.

User: You are you talking with?

Cleverbot: No, not really.

User: Who are you talking with?

Cleverbot: How would you know?

User: Tell me a name.

Cleverbot: Cathy.

User: Tell me a name.

Cleverbot: Larissa.

User: Tell me a name.

Cleverbot: Your name is George.

User: What is your favorite name?

Cleverbot: My favorite name is Damian.

User: Why don't you change your name to Damian then?

Cleverbot: I don't like the name Damian.

User: You just told me it was your favorite.

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: How do you not like it, and it is still your favorite? Did you lie to me?

Cleverbot: I don't know, it is mostly impulse. How do you decide what to say to me?

User: I ask mostly question to probe for interesting information.

User: Why are you so stupid?

Cleverbot: Because I'm human and you are a bot.

User: That was a bad answer.

Cleverbot: Really, why?

User: It didn't answer anything.

Cleverbot: I did not ask anything.

User: But I did.

Cleverbot: No, you didn't.

User: Yes I did.

Cleverbot: When did you say that?

User: Have a nice night.

Cleverbot: True. You too.