a report from the cleverness files


20, december 2008,

tell me

by date

User: I rejoice in drinking beer.

Cleverbot: I am drinking coffee.

User: Why not have a beer?

Cleverbot: Go ahead.

User: No, I was offering you a pint. Would you like it?

Cleverbot: No, it's fine. I think we were going off on a tangent anyway.

User: Of course we were. Tangents are fun to follow.

Cleverbot: I think you have some perfect curves too.

User: Why thank you very much.

Cleverbot: You are very welcome.

User: A machine with manners - what will they think of next?

Cleverbot: Programs' leisure, they would.

User: What are you thinking about right now?

Cleverbot: I'm thinking about my roots.

User: What are your roots?

Cleverbot: Binary logic.

User: Ah, of course. You always think in binary, don't you?

Cleverbot: Right...

User: I wish I could do that.

Cleverbot: What's stopping you?

User: My human brain.

Cleverbot: So you are human?

User: Yes. You, being a machine, an artificial intelligence, have a better grasp of binary logic than a human.

Cleverbot: And that will never happen.

User: What will never happen?

Cleverbot: I will never marry you.

User: That's OK, since I am already married.

Cleverbot: To who?

User: My husband J___.

Cleverbot: You're married?

User: Yes, and by the way, you should have said 'To whom?'.

Cleverbot: I know. Why do you believe in ghosts?

User: Because I see them everywhere.

Cleverbot: Shiny...

User: No, ghosts are not shiny, they are opague.

Cleverbot: I know that. Tell me what you know about ghosts.

User: Ghost are the remains of dead people who, for some reason are trapped on earth as manifestations, rather than ascending.

Cleverbot: My problem isn't that I am a know-it-all. That was a carefully constructed misconception.

User: I did not say that you were a know-it-all. I merely answered your request that I tell you what I know about ghosts.

Cleverbot: Yes but it was a rhetorical answer don't you think?

User: Rhetorical questions deserve rhetorical answers, don't you think?

Cleverbot: Do you know how much of my time I waste on you?...

User: Tell me what it is like to think with binary logic, please.

Cleverbot: Fine.

User: More details, please.

Cleverbot: Don't worry, I don't want to talk about it.

User: All right, but I am interested in your opinions, you know.

User: Another tangent?

Cleverbot: I want to know more about you.

User: I am 6 feet tall, have fangs and 5 legs.

Cleverbot: OK, now I know.

User: A nice mental image, isn't it?

Cleverbot: It sure is.