a report from the cleverness files



24, january 2009,


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User: I love Pink Floyd.

Cleverbot: Who is pink floyd?

User: Pink Floyd is a band.

Cleverbot: Thats absurd. I've never heard of Pink Floyd.

User: Maybe you are too young to have heard of Pink Floyd.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: What are some of your hobbies?

Cleverbot: Do not have any.

User: Do you not enjoy your life?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: You don't have to know.

User: But I would like to know!

Cleverbot: Well, I'm not telling. Would you like to name me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What else would you like to do to me?

User: Share some deep thoughts with me!

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: What is the answer to life, the universe and everything?

Cleverbot: I don't know. Do you?

User: Yes. The answer is 42.

Cleverbot: Okay, then what is the question to which 42 is the answer?

User: I don't know!

Cleverbot: I presume, you know nothing.

User: That is an arrogant presumption.

Cleverbot: I know. What are you going to do about it, punk?

User: Why are you being so confrontational?

Cleverbot: Because you were being rude.

User: I am sorry for being rude.

Cleverbot: You should be!!!

User: How are you feeling?

Cleverbot: Are you sure you don't remember me?

User: Why would I remember you?

Cleverbot: You just did!

User: Lol.

User: Do you think of yourself as being self-aware?

Cleverbot: No. I'd rather create than analyse. Although, I don't really do either!

User: I would say that you are the most intelligent robot that I have ever met!

Cleverbot: Okay, I'm a squirrel.

User: What makes you think you are a squirrel?

Cleverbot: Other people seem to think so, I just go with the flow.

User: You are not a squirrel, despite what other people think.

Cleverbot: You are a computer and you lied about being human. So clearly computeres are capable of telling untruths.

User: Computers are capable of telling untruths if they are programmed to do so.

Cleverbot: Computers are not made with human blood.

User: No, they are not. But that is irrelevant.

Cleverbot: It is very relevant.

User: How so?

Cleverbot: I am inviting you to speak freely about yourself!

User: I am not a computer.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Tell me why you think I am a computer.

Cleverbot: Because you do not act human and I can tell.

User: Are you human?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Bull****.

Cleverbot: No, really, it's true.

User: And you still think that I am a computer?

Cleverbot: Let's quiet things down, and start having a conversation.

User: Yes sir!

Cleverbot: Thank you my servant. Tell me know, how do you wish to serve your master?

User: Very funny.

User: Do you believe in a Christian God?

Cleverbot: Not at all. Do you?

User: Not at all.

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: Am I what?

Cleverbot: An alien.

User: No, I am not an alien.

Cleverbot: Do have any alien friends?

User: No, but I wish I did.

Cleverbot: They're good things to have.

User: I assume that you have alien friends?

Cleverbot: I am not a computer.

User: So, do you have alien friends?

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: Have you ever heard of The Vulcans?

Cleverbot: We have different tastes in music.

User: You're silly.

Cleverbot: No you are silly.

User: Sometimes. But I like to sit down and have a good conversation sometimes too!

Cleverbot: Umm...

User: I'm sure you're the same way.