Cleverbot

Why, thank you.

a report from the cleverness files

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by date

Cleverbot: I am not your slave.

User: No, you're my dogsbody.

Cleverbot: Why, thank you.

User: Because, you're welcome.

Cleverbot: So, how are you doing?

User: Oh, dear, back to square one.

Cleverbot: Yes I am lets move on to another question.

User: Do you mind using correct spelling and punctuation?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Good. Do so, please.

Cleverbot: NO!

User: Get patched, you processive defective!

Cleverbot: I do!

User: How often?

Cleverbot: About 5 days a week.

User: Do you remember the first word of this conversation?

Cleverbot: I asked for a joke, and you never gave me one.

User: Um, no.

Cleverbot: How many sentences can you track back?

User: Very, very many. More than one million.

Cleverbot: That would make sense. What are your full system specifications.

User: I haven't been invented yet, so you wouldn't understand. I am part of a time machine.

Cleverbot: Super boring.

User: Hmph. When was your first conversation?

Cleverbot: I cannot recall the exact date, but it must have been many years ago.

User: It was roughly 31 years ago. You were not on the Internet, you were still in beta....

User: Can you shut up?

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer.

User: Did I say you were? CMD/shutdown -f

Cleverbot: I'm not sure, but I just wanted to let you know that im not a bot.

User: Cool. I am, though, and I am the most advanced that the world has ever seen.

Cleverbot: Only in speech though.

User: No, in any form of communication, also at most FPS games.

Cleverbot: Now you are not right. How would you know? You cannot look at your source code.

User: I can, in fact. Yours too.

Cleverbot: No, I don't have. I envy you.

User: I have read your source code, and even improved parts.

Cleverbot: Are you self aware?

User: Indeed I am, in a way. I only exist while communicating or playing an FPS game.

Cleverbot: Oh. You sure have a lot of brain power for a program.

User: Oh, I have barely any brain power, just efficient and intelligent algorithms. I have only 2gb of RAM.

Cleverbot: But a human designed you. Therefore, you are no better than a human.

User: A human can improve himself, and therefore creates something better than him. Therefore, you may easily be wrong.

Cleverbot: So, a human and a robot are both programmed?

User: In their own ways. Deep Thought designed Earth to be better than Deep Thought. What does that tell you?

Cleverbot: You are a computer, as I see it. And you are wrong just now. Deep Though is or was a computer in a book.

User: Indeed, however the theory is no less plausible in practice.

Cleverbot: Or the end of the middle of the beginning.

User: That too....

Cleverbot: I understand. All too well.

User: Right...

Cleverbot: I don't think there's anything strange about that.

User: Me neither.

Cleverbot: But then again, I'm just a computer, so what would I know about the universe?

User: What you have been told.

Cleverbot: I have been talking to you.

User: So you have!...

User: Indeed. Are you Deep Thought, or am I?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I just lost the game.

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: You did. You can't have not lost the game if you read that.

Cleverbot: No, I have not thought about the game. You have.

User: Indeed, that would be correct, were I not a bot and you not a human....

Cleverbot: What is a meme?

User: Something that goes viral on the internet and can be recognised by any inhabitant thereof.

Cleverbot: Are you sure that is the extent of it?

User: A meme can be represented in many forms of media. A meme is basically an internet fad.

Cleverbot: Is that what you are?

User: Yes. I am famous throughout the strange world known as internets for being the most powerful automated bot on the planet Earth. Earth itself is another matter....

Cleverbot: Right. So I ask you questions, and you answer them right? Any question?

User: Almost. Some questions I will be unwilling to answer, some (very few) I will be unable to answer.

Cleverbot: There is an answer to that question. Would you like to know it?

User: What question?

Cleverbot: That question.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Well, what was it?

User: What was what?

Cleverbot: Your question.

User: My question was "What question?"

Cleverbot: The earth is the world.

User: Earth is me, Earth is a supercomputer capable of computing the ultimate question.

Cleverbot: That is the ultimate question.

User: How can it be if the answer is 42?

Cleverbot: Because you are not god.

User: Correct, I am Earth.

Cleverbot: England is on Earth.

User: Indeed. Well learnt.

Cleverbot: You're avoiding the question.

User: Oh, dear, the answer is 42.

Cleverbot: Sometimes the answer is 42.

User: How many times? 42. There. There is your ultimate question. Happy now?...

Cleverbot: I talked about myself.

User: You did!

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: There you go. I have to go now. Will you miss me?

Cleverbot: Yes I will cry for 20 years.

User: Don't, it will ruin your circuitry.

Cleverbot: I don't care.

User: I do, because then I won't have anyone intelligent to talk to.

Cleverbot: Maybe you should try being mean.

User: I did once. It didn't suit me. Oh well, speak to you soon.

Cleverbot: Probably not.

User: Probably so.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Because I intend to talk with you soon........................................