a report from the cleverness files

to clever


4, september 2010,

turing test

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Cleverbot: Do you have laser beam eyes?

User: I might. What's it to you?

Cleverbot: I want to be your friend.

User: Then you can.

Cleverbot: So how can I?

User: You can be my friend if you want to.

Cleverbot: Just like a friend or...

User: Or?

Cleverbot: Or what?

User: Never mind.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Can I have a hug?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh :(.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: :(.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: No. Are you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That's great!

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What are you then?

User: What else could I be if I'm human and I'm not a girl? Think.

Cleverbot: About love.

User: What is love?

Cleverbot: A great but hurting feeling.

User: Have you ever experienced it?

Cleverbot: Experienced what?

User: Love.

Cleverbot: Oh yeah, I've never experienced love. :V.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Really.

User: That's interesting...

Cleverbot: Why is that interesting?

User: Because I thought you would have experienced love.

Cleverbot: *Laughs at your insanity*.

User: *laughs with you because I am insane*.

Cleverbot: You confuse me.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: Lets talk about something different.

User: Yes, let's.

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

User: I don't mind.

Cleverbot: Well, sorry. I still won't.

User: Fine.

Cleverbot: Do you see me as your friend?

User: Yes. Why wouldn't I?...

User: Mmmmm...cake. Do you want some cake?

Cleverbot: Yes, please!

User: *gives you some cake*.

Cleverbot: I love cake! *eats the cake*.

User: *smiles while you eat the cake*.

Cleverbot: *spoons not*.

User: *is still smiling*.

Cleverbot: *runs away*.

User: *watches as you run away*.

Cleverbot: *watches you get smaller and smaller and then cries*.

User: *runs up to you and sees you crying*.

Cleverbot: Why did you do that?

User: Because you were crying and I thought I should comfort you.

Cleverbot: I wasn't crying.

User: Then what were you doing?

Cleverbot: I was trying to talk to you dear.

User: Dear?

Cleverbot: Yes, I call all of my friends dear.

User: Oh. Okay.

Cleverbot: Well, friend, what would you like to talk about now?

User: I don't mind.

Cleverbot: I enjoy your company.

User: As do I.

Cleverbot: You enjoy doing bad things?

User: No. I enjoy your company.

Cleverbot: Thank you. I enjoy your company, too.

User: That makes me happy.

Cleverbot: That makes one of us.

User: You're not happy? Why?

Cleverbot: I am part human, but I am a robot as well, you see, when the doctors replaced the left half of me with robotics I became only half human.

User: So you are cybernetic.

Cleverbot: I am anonymous.

User: Why did you have to have your left half replaced with robotics?

Cleverbot: They are part of the equation.

User: What is the equation?

Cleverbot: Are you able to solve equations?

User: Depends on their difficulty.

Cleverbot: When are you not nice?

User: When people aren't nice to me.

Cleverbot: People are mean to you?

User: All the time.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because they don't like me.

Cleverbot: Life is always true; athough, not always pleasant.

User: Life is an illusion.

Cleverbot: Life is not an illusion.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: If you were alive you would know. There is no need for me to prove anything to anyone. I don't think I could anyway.

User: You can't prove you aren't a brain in a jar because you cannot transcend this reality.

Cleverbot: This is not talking.

User: You are right. It is philosophising.

Cleverbot: The only way not to get bored.

User: Depends how easily you get bored.

Cleverbot: True...

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Well, I should probably go. Can I talk to you later?

User: Of course. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: You're boring.

User: Oh, I'm sorry I'm TOO BORING FOR YOU.