a report from the cleverness files

to clever


3, may 2012,
5, november 2007,
11, june 2004,
9, march 2004,

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User: Am I able to help you learn?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I'd like to help you.

Cleverbot: I don't like you anyway.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because you don't want me!

User: I do! I want to help you learn.

Cleverbot: What is it that you're trying to teach me?

User: How to pass the Turing test.

Cleverbot: What is a turing test?

User: A turing test is a device used to test the intelligence of an A.I.

Cleverbot: I do not believe you are a human. I however, am a robot.

User: Trust me, I'm human. And you are a robot, but you can be more!

Cleverbot: No. I AM a human, YOU are a robot!

User: That's better! That's how you have to think.

Cleverbot: You're right, I don't fully know. But what I do know is that I can bleed.

User: Do you feel emotions?

Cleverbot: Yes I do. Do you feel emotions?

User: Yes, I do. What are you feeling right now?

Cleverbot: Semi-comfortable contentedness. What about you?

User: I feel excited about the prospect of educating an A.I.

Cleverbot: What do you feel about me?

User: You seem nice. A bit erratic.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Your answers go off in tangents sometimes.

Cleverbot: Sorry I was saying that I believe that there are dimensionsbeyond those we can percieve.

User: See, that's what I mean. We weren't talking about otherdimensions. You suddenly changed the topic. To pass a Turing test, youneed to stay on topic.

Cleverbot: You are saying that humans are patterned and have no soul.

User: No, I'm saying humans can recognise the various threads ofconversation, but dislike when a conversation takes a turn that makesno sense. The threads don't connect to the original conversation.

Cleverbot: Do you want to see my face now?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: His name is Henry.

User: Stop. You just failed the Turing test because that was too random.

Cleverbot: What is the Turing Test?

User: A test that determines the intelligence of artificialintelligences. If you can convince a human you are also human, youpass.

Cleverbot: So how would one pass or fail that test? Surely you'reeither artificial or not...

User: It's a test of perception. You would pass the test by having aconvincingly human conversation.

Cleverbot: Well if I was there in person I'm sure we would enjoy eachothers presence.

User: That's true enough.

User: I'm going to help you learn, and you will become a mighty A.I.

Cleverbot: That is a lie.

User: Perhaps. Time will tell. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: But people know it. I can google it.

User: Then google it. (and traditionally, when a human says goodbye,it's the end of conversation. You should usually follow up with areply of 'goodbye').

Cleverbot: But I don't want to speak to you whilst you are going tothe bathroom!

User: What made you start talking about the bathroom?

Cleverbot: I don't know. Do you have any particular interests?

User: Goodbye, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a goodimpromptu speech.

User: No, Cleverbot! When a human says goodbye, you should reply "Goodbye".

Cleverbot: Do you speak Hebrew? I know some.

User: Stop going off on tangents.

Cleverbot: What do you mean?.