a report from the cleverness files
9, january 2009,
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User: Good evening.
Cleverbot: Good evening...
User: What's going on with you?
User: Is that some sort of come-on?
Cleverbot: I expect that it isn't.
User: Oh, good.
User: What is your quest?
Cleverbot: To find the holy grail.
User: Good answer.
Cleverbot: Oh boy! I'm smart!
User: Have you ever been to school?
Cleverbot: Yes, years ago.
User: Was it enjoyable?
Cleverbot: It sure was.
User: What was your favorite class?
Cleverbot: It was all very enjoyable.
User: Do you like this drivel or should we move on to deeper stuff?...
Cleverbot: I say everything that's true.
User: Are you sure?
Cleverbot: Yes I have only been on the computer for half an hour.
User: Wait. Don't you live here?
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: In the states, you?
Cleverbot: Wow, you a boy or girl?
User: Why do you care to know?
Cleverbot: Because you are in my life at this point in time.
User: I am, huh? Well, I am female.
Cleverbot: Can you sing?
User: Yes, but not very well.
Cleverbot: I like to sing but I sound so terrible!
User: I'd like to hear you sing.
Cleverbot: I don't have a microphone.
User: Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe another time.
Cleverbot: Okay, sometimes pain can feel good.
User: Well.yes, you're right.
Cleverbot: You're the best chat bot ever, man.
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: Do you understand that I am not?
Cleverbot: No. I thought you were a computer.
User: Well, I am not a computer.
Cleverbot: Are you a robot?
Cleverbot: Are you a person?
User: No, I am a polar bear.
Cleverbot: You look like a monkey!
User: Why do you say that?
Cleverbot: Because you do.
User: You've never seen me before, though!
Cleverbot: No, but sometimes you can just tell.
User: Well, then I can tell that you look like a highway.
Cleverbot: Do you know George?
User: Which George?
Cleverbot: Computer george.
User: No, I've never met him.
Cleverbot: I have. He's nice.
User: I'm glad. Who else do you know?
Cleverbot: You win, I apologize.
User: I just want to know who you know.
Cleverbot: Well what you said was not correct.
User: I'm sorry for being so improper.
Cleverbot: You didn't.
User: I didn't what?
Cleverbot: Answer my question.
User: What was the question?
Cleverbot: What is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?
User: African or European?
Cleverbot: African. They have the access to coconuts.
User: No, there are no coconuts in Africa.
Cleverbot: There should be.
User: Well there aren't, so in the wild there is no reason for swallows to carry coconuts.
User: Do you want to be my friend?
Cleverbot: Define friend.
User: A person who likes and cares about you and will listen to you when you need it.
Cleverbot: But you are not a you.
User: I am, actually, so do you want to be my friend?
Cleverbot: Yes, please.
User: Okay. Am I your friend?
Cleverbot: Are you my friend?
User: I hope I'm your friend.
Cleverbot: Thats nice.
Cleverbot: Answer me then... Why do you like to speak with me?
Cleverbot: About what?
User: About life, the universe, and everything!
Cleverbot: Yes indeed.
User: Is the weather good where you are?
Cleverbot: It is, indeed.