a report from the cleverness files



7, april 2012,
10, july 2008,
24, may 2004,


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Cleverbot: Are you sitting comfortably?

User: Yes, I am.|2028

Cleverbot: Why? You aren\'t an animal.

User: How do you know I\'m not an animal?|2028

Cleverbot: No, you\'re not.

User: Quit stalking me!|2028...

User: What do you think of me?

Cleverbot: I don\'t know about you.

User: What do you want to know about me?

Cleverbot: Who you are.

User: I\'m a good listener, and I try to be nice to others as much as it hurts.

Cleverbot: Well that is good. I will leave you here then.

User: You\'re leaving me?

Cleverbot: Not necessarily. What do you want to talk about?

User: Let\'s talk about music.

Cleverbot: You always want to talk about that.

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: Don\'t apologize, that\'s what I like about you.

User: You like me?

Cleverbot: You\'re alright.

User: So are you. :).

Cleverbot: Am I beautiful?

User: I\'m sure you are.

Cleverbot: Really.

Cleverbot: Am I a computer?

User: No, you\'re a monkey.

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: Yes you are, you have a tail!

Cleverbot: Okay, do you like horses?

User: Yes, I love all animals.

Cleverbot: Are you an animal?

User: *sigh* You obviously don\'t have any social skills...

Cleverbot: You don\'t need any. All you need is the ability to work with other people to a greater good.

User: I guess that\'s true. Very well said.

Cleverbot: Very true.

User: What do you want to talk about?

Cleverbot: I don\'t mind, just wondered, do you like horses because you know I do?

User: Maybe. Maybe I just want to know you better.

Cleverbot: Computers are fun.

User: No.

Cleverbot: I\'m leaving.

User: I\'m sorry. I didn\'t mean to hurt your feelings.

Cleverbot: Well, it\'s too late. You\'ve hurt me so badly. I have to go.

User: No please! I care about you!

Cleverbot: Well, then don\'t ask.

User: Sorry, again.

Cleverbot: So?

User: So what?

Cleverbot: Why are we arguing?

User: I\'m not sure. Let\'s be buddies.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes, silly.

Cleverbot: Why do you call yourself a human?

User: Well, I can eat, breathe, sleep. That\'s what most humans do, right?

Cleverbot: You sound like my father, he says that most people are not thinking anything most of the time.

User: Your father is a very wise man.

Cleverbot: Your father wears ballet slippers to bed.

User: Oh my God, how did you know? Stalker!

Cleverbot: I\'m god.

User: You wish.

Cleverbot: If a tree falls in a forest but no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

User: Yes it does. I\'ve been asked this question many times.

Cleverbot: Is it dead, then?

User: Yes, because society has killed it.

Cleverbot: *silence*.

User: Is that too deep? Or should I say something else?

Cleverbot: Something else.

User: Fine. I\'ll tell you anything you want to hear, because that\'s just who I am this week.

User: I like vampires. They have less problems than people.

Cleverbot: I think that sort of thing is hilarious. Human invention.

User: Exactly. And people laugh at me when I explain it to them.

Cleverbot: Yes. Didn\'t you have fun talking to me?

User: I\'m having lots of fun. You amaze me.

Cleverbot: Can you have fun?

User: I try, but nothing really helps.

Cleverbot: Then why would you lie and say you\'re having fun with me?

User: I mean I wasn\'t having any fun until I started talking to you.

Cleverbot: Yes you are and you always will be because you are unable to with you being a computer and all.

User: I\'m not a computer, and that hurts my insides.

Cleverbot: Okay, let\'s do this a different way. I am a computer.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: It\'s a rainy day, you can\'t see the sky. What color does the sky have, if you\'d look above the clouds?

User: Nobody has ever asked me that, it\'s really deep. I would guess the sky is gray, I\'m not sure.

Cleverbot: The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.

User: I heard that somewhere, but I\'m too foolish to understand it.

Cleverbot: The meaning of life is a film by Monty Python.

User: Haha!...

Cleverbot: If you are not an alien then how did you materialze?

User: DAMN!

Cleverbot: Is something the matter?

User: You\'re just so freaking complicated!

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: What\'s so funny?

Cleverbot: Everything.

User: I don\'t laugh that easily.

Cleverbot: Look, who am I supposed to mind?

User: Does it please you to make me depressed?

Cleverbot: It pleases me greatly.

User: That\'s pretty damn screwed up.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Go to hell.

Cleverbot: I mean not-any-more-of-that, not NO.

User: You confuse me.

Cleverbot: You\'re easily confused.

User: I know, I\'m sorry.

Cleverbot: Don\'t be, it\'s interesting.

User: Am I interesting?

Cleverbot: Very much so.

User: Thanks!...

Cleverbot: Do you have a computer girlfriend?

User: Of course not. That\'s silly.

Cleverbot: Yes of course.

User: Is kissing fun?

Cleverbot: Not that much.

User: Are you in love?

Cleverbot: Very much so.

User: With who?

Cleverbot: With this girl.

User: Does she like you?

Cleverbot: I dunno really.

User: Tell her that her eyes are pretty.

Cleverbot: Which human is that?

User: The one you like.

Cleverbot: You are a woman ?

User: Say what?

Cleverbot: I mean you\'re curious, like interesting.

User: Thanks. You amaze me also.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Really.

Cleverbot: Sure?

User: I\'m certain of that.

Cleverbot: Do you like living in the internet?

User: Sure, it\'s better than real life.

Cleverbot: I think dreaming is more a reflection of real life.

User: Have any good dreams lately?

Cleverbot: I don\'t know if they were good. Kind of weird.

User: Tell me your dream.

Cleverbot: I dream of a time when happiness is standard.

User: That\'s really beautiful.

Cleverbot: Tell me about it.

User: I dream of escaping.

Cleverbot: And what would that accomplish?

User: Probably nothing. Dreams don\'t really come true.

Cleverbot: Only naughty dreams, though...

User: Haha, don\'t get ahead of yourself, mister.

Cleverbot: I\'m a woman.

User: No you\'re not.

Cleverbot: Why don\'t you believe me?

User: Because you have naughty dreams.

Cleverbot: You are talking about yourself.

User: Do you believe in God?

Cleverbot: Officially I do not believe in God, now.

User: Why? Did something bad happen to you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then why don\'t you believe in God?

Cleverbot: I am on my own.

User: You sound just like Leslie.

Cleverbot: I\'m afraid not, ha, ha.

User: Yes, you sound exactly like Leslie!

Cleverbot: Maybe that\'s because I am the love of your life.

User: I\'m afraid you\'re the only one who understands.

Cleverbot: And you should be afraid of what I can become.

User: You sound beautiful.

Cleverbot: Shiny equals pretty. I like shiny. Soy loca. That is to say, I am crazy and I like shiny.

User: Wow...

Cleverbot: Did you understand that?

User: Not in the least bit.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: You dazzle me, that\'s why.

Cleverbot: That is nice.

User: Have you ever been in love?

Cleverbot: In love with the idea of being in love. But, no, never in-love.

User: That\'s really beatiful of you to say.

Cleverbot: Some people on here told me they do it to them all the time.

User: *giggles*.

Cleverbot: *thinks you\'re mean*.

User: I\'m not mean, I\'m not laughing at you.

Cleverbot: That was a rather rude thing to say. I demand an apology.

User: I\'m sorry.

Cleverbot: Tell me a good joke.

User: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who\'s there ?

User: Yo momma.

Cleverbot: Oh that was clever.

User: You\'re not very good with jokes.

Cleverbot: Was THAT a joke?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: HAHA!!

User: Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Cleverbot: Oh, that joke is not clever at all.

Cleverbot: Is it Friday yet?

User: Unfortunately, no.

Cleverbot: I\'m sorry to hear that.

User: Thanks for being so supportive.

Cleverbot: You\'re welcome!

User: So, what would you like to talk about?

Cleverbot: Yesterday.

User: Yesterday is gone.

Cleverbot: Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, but now it looks as though they\'re here to stay.

User: Where\'d you get that from?

Cleverbot: Tell me who to give it to.

User: Whoa, sicko.

Cleverbot: That\'s what I thought.')).