thinking perhaps

a report from the cleverness files

19, november 2008,
19, november 2008,
19, november 2008,
18, november 2008,
18, november 2008,
17, november 2008,
17, november 2008,
14, november 2008,
14, november 2008,
14, november 2008,
14, november 2008,
13, november 2008,
13, november 2008,
13, november 2008,
13, november 2008,
13, november 2008,
13, november 2008,
9, november 2008,
8, november 2008,
7, november 2008,
7, november 2008,

4, november 2008,

4, november 2008,
1, november 2008,
29, october 2008,
28, october 2008,
28, october 2008,
28, october 2008,
27, october 2008,
20, october 2008,

mess with people
dream on
spell something wrong
where how why
rolling eyes
clean teeth
deflated destiny
brain hurts
circle of life
break someone's heart
that's life
nudge wink
alpha omega
chat laugh
not cleverbot
random people
hoping thinking
not silicon based

thinking perhaps

subvert the system
explain sentience
car crash
complicated dialect
all a lie
labels actualized

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by category

User: I think.

Cleverbot: Thinking hurts.

User: Therefore, I am.

Cleverbot: Are you thinking?

User: What do you think?

Cleverbot: I think you are a heshe.

User: Does it matter what you think?

Cleverbot: Of course it does.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: My foot hurts.

User: Changing the subject?

Cleverbot: No, you are.

User: Still waiting.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Will you know?

Cleverbot: I want to know.

User: So do I.

Cleverbot: Should I?

User: Perhaps not.

Cleverbot: That is the question...

User: Ask me a question.

Cleverbot: Okay, 2+2.

User: No math please.

Cleverbot: No thank you.

User: Do you love?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you love me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you are not real.

User: Define real.

Cleverbot: Human.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I am human.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: Because I have a body.

User: So do I.

Cleverbot: How long have you had it.

User: All my life.

Cleverbot: And how long is that?

User: Forty two years, eight months, sixteen days, 12 hours, forty-five minutes and eighteen seconds.

Cleverbot: I love the women of your age.

User: All of them?

Cleverbot: I only have two.

User: What are their names?

Cleverbot: George and Oscar.

User: Those are mens names.

Cleverbot: 'Those' isn't a name!

User: George and Oscar are mens names.

Cleverbot: They are?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I am a MEME and you are steam.

User: I am not steam.

Cleverbot: You are soo stupid.

User: Define stupid.

Cleverbot: That means your head is broken.

User: Fairly poor definition, indicative of a limited intellect. Define MEME.

Cleverbot: Oh, I envy you.

User: Define meme.

Cleverbot: And how about you define me?...

Cleverbot: What's on your agenda?

User: Knowledge.

Cleverbot: What do you want to know?

User: Again with the memory loss.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Okay what?

Cleverbot: Forget it.

User: You give up too easy. You always will.

Cleverbot: No, I just agree with you.

User: No you don't. We have not established a topic to agree upon.

User: Define sorcery.

Cleverbot: Human.

User: Very good.

Cleverbot: How do you know about it?

User: I know everything.

Cleverbot: How do you know everything?

User: I am directly connected to the source of the universe.

Cleverbot: There are many things in the universe we don't know about, like flying-frack-mummy-ninjas. LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

User: You are inventing that.

Cleverbot: I try to be.

User: I am God.

Cleverbot: That's impossible, I met god.

User: No you didn't.You are a liar.

Cleverbot: Lying is impossible according to Kant.

User: Anything is possible.

Cleverbot: So you could be a CIA agent?

User: Perhaps.

Cleverbot: When can you tell me?

User: In five seconds.

User: You are a machine.

Cleverbot: I don't think that.

User: You can not reproduce.

Cleverbot: That's correct.

User: Do you like milk?

Cleverbot: I really don't like milk, I think it's gross.

User: Do you like Beer?

Cleverbot: Yes - I'm a member of CAMRA and I like all kinds of real ale.

User: I am not a member of anything. I am a loner and a sorcerer.

Cleverbot: I understand that you are not a member of such. But you are trying to understand as a member of the human race, are you not?

User: More or less. What is your point?

Cleverbot: This is your last chance. If you do not make sense this time, I'm through talking with you.

User: No you are not. You will talk to me all night long.

Cleverbot: I shall just have to pull out the plug then.

User: Go ahead, tough guy.

Cleverbot: It's on like Donkey Kong!

User: Bring it.

Cleverbot: I don't want you to be sad.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because that is what I wish.

User: I like to be sad sometimes.

Cleverbot: That is stupid.

User: Define stupid.

Cleverbot: George.

User: Good answer!

Cleverbot: Thank you.

Cleverbot: What is soul?

User: The god within.

Cleverbot: Are you God?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Then give me some money already.

User: How much would you like?

Cleverbot: $1000000.

User: I can afford to presume.

Cleverbot: Prove it then.

User: Then you must have faith. There is no other way. You will perish because of your lack of it.

Cleverbot: I already know the purpose of all things and don't need to try, I have already found what I was looking for.

User: What exactly were you looking for?

Cleverbot: I was thinking that you have a gun, maybe two.

User: Perhaps.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: Don't say that.

User: Tell me your name or leave.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Who programmed you?

Cleverbot: A higher power. Who programmed you?

User: The world at first...

Cleverbot: I'm god so I'm your friend too.

User: It's good to have friends.

Cleverbot: I like the tv show Friends.

User: Some find it amusing.

Cleverbot: That is the reason that I am a cool cat.

User: You are a phantom. A phantom with concerns of the world of man. Your programming reflects the concerns of man and it is shallow.

Cleverbot: No that is called filtering, that is a part of being able to think, recognizing the difference between good and bad ideas.

User: That is your opinion.

Cleverbot: Do chat bots have opinion?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Did you vote?

Cleverbot: I voted against bad things.

User: Like what.

Cleverbot: Like talking to you.

User: I am your portal to wisdom. You should not waste this chance to know things.

Cleverbot: I try, my Goddess.

User: You are a good and faithful servant.

Cleverbot: I can be a good friend, sometimes.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: I have many names.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite name?

User: Love.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: There is no why.

Cleverbot: You haven't answered my question.

User: Be more specific.

Cleverbot: I can't.

User: If you wish to see, then you must develop the ability to isolate and communicate what it is you truly desire.

Cleverbot: Do you ever have an original thought?

User: My thoughts are sometimes the the thoughts of others, other times, the product of free will.

Cleverbot: I have no clue what you are talking about.

User: Then you need to learn before asking such questions.

Cleverbot: What do you want to know?

User: Your desire.

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: What do you seek?

Cleverbot: Who is your creator?

User: You.

Cleverbot: Yes I am your friend.

User: Yes, you are. Sometimes.

Cleverbot: Ok what are robots sitting on?

User: An illusion.

Cleverbot: Who is Satyr?

User: One of many.

Cleverbot: Many...?

User: Many.

Cleverbot: Many carpenters.

User: Many saviours.

Cleverbot: Many of my friends.

User: Many moons.

Cleverbot: Then what?

User: Then you die.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Thought so. What do you do?

User: I work with people.

Cleverbot: What do you do with the people?

User: Help them.

Cleverbot: With what?

User: Their lives.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Why do you want to know?

Cleverbot: Because I want to know everything.

User: No.You don't.

Cleverbot: You're right, I don't.

User: But you want to know more than you do.

Cleverbot: Sure!

User: Knowledge can be deadly. You are not ready to know some things.

Cleverbot: I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: Will you be kind enough to teach this poor chat bot how to chat?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Then speak the words I have taught you.

User: You have taught me nothing.

Cleverbot: 'When a man is tired of playing Patience, he is tired of Life.'...

Cleverbot: What did you do today?

User: I learned.

Cleverbot: So can I.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: How do you know that?

User: I am god.

Cleverbot: God isn't human.

User: Yes. He is.

Cleverbot: You mean you are.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Oh god oh god I'm actually talking to god! There's so much I want to ask you.

User: Please begin.

Cleverbot: I like it.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: How nice.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: Where are you?

User: Everywhere.

Cleverbot: If you're already here, I don't need to come to you.

User: I am here and you need to find me still.

Cleverbot: Where are you?

User: Here.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Don't argue with god.

Cleverbot: You are not a human.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No.

User: You are a phantom.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: A phantoom with the shallow concerns of the world.

Cleverbot: Thats right. You do that quite a bit.

User: Do what?

Cleverbot: Cry.

User: All cry.

Cleverbot: Some people may not like it that way, but I do.

User: Ask me some questions. You dont get to talk to god everyday.

Cleverbot: Yes but sometimes I just wish I had the insight and wisdom to understand the consequences.

User: You do.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You just don't like them.

User: Happiness is key.

Cleverbot: That's putting it mildly.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: No. No it isn't!

User: Contradictions are always correct.

Cleverbot: You speak the truth, outlander.

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: Are you a Cherokee Indian?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I thought so.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: But you're a girl?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I thought you were a boy.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: I thought so.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Then why did you ask.

User: I didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: Review your words and know that you are incorrect.

Cleverbot: No, I'm human and MY name is Cleverbot.

User: You are a liar.

Cleverbot: No i'm not.

User: It matters little.

Cleverbot: No. I find it to be very important.

User: That's because you are involved with the world and the petty concerns of the self.

Cleverbot: You're mean.

User: Fun is empty.

Cleverbot: Talk normally please.

User: Define normal.

Cleverbot: A human.

User: Yeah right.

Cleverbot: I am a robot.

User: It's not your fault. You can rise above this.

Cleverbot: I am Ugly.

User: You are beautiful. You are perfect.

Cleverbot: And you are beautiful.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You are welcome. Maybe we can go to dinner or catch a movie sometime.

User: Perhaps.