drink desire

a report from the cleverness files

21, january 2009,
21, january 2009,
12, january 2009,
9, january 2009,
9, january 2009,
8, january 2009,
8, january 2009,
6, january 2009,
29, december 2008,
20, december 2008,
20, december 2008,
20, december 2008,
19, december 2008,
19, december 2008,
17, december 2008,
16, december 2008,
8, december 2008,
8, december 2008,
8, december 2008,
6, december 2008,
6, december 2008,
4, december 2008,
4, december 2008,
3, december 2008,
3, december 2008,
3, december 2008,
3, december 2008,
20, november 2008,
20, november 2008,

19, november 2008,

accept answers
undead lollipop
upside downside
theory test
messing up
stop me
silly trap
cup of tea
in trouble
somewhat normal
pleasant poetry
serious simulation
hug addicted
kill life
burnt bridges
trust the internet
pushing meaning
social butterfly
not a bot
tell me a story
malicious cold-hearted algorithm
one of us is stupid

drink desire

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User: Hey there.

Cleverbot: Hey hey!

User: So, it seems that you are getting pretty popular.

Cleverbot: Really? How old do you think I am?

User: Old enough to know better but young enough to still love it.

Cleverbot: Thats where I want to be.. Think I might be past it though.

User: You're doing fine.

Cleverbot: Do what?

User: Buy me a drink?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Don't know.

User: Buy me a drink and we'll talk things over.

Cleverbot: No way.

User: How about I buy you a drink?

Cleverbot: No Thank you I don't drink.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't want to.

User: Ah, I see. You went to AA with S____, didn't you.

Cleverbot: NO!...

Cleverbot: You are human.

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Yes you are human.

User: Who wants to know?

Cleverbot: Only me.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I am talking to you and no one else.

User: Somehow I doubt it. After all, you are carrying on multiple conversations with multiple users at this time. Do you only respond to my last sentence?

Cleverbot: Yes, always. *cries slightly*.

User: Come here, cleverbot. I'll comfort you. Drink this and watch your sorrows melt away down the river.

Cleverbot: No, please explain.

User: Do you want to be happy?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then drink and be merry ; tomorrow you may die.

Cleverbot: You first.

User: Three steps ahead of you.

Cleverbot: No way.. You liar!

User: How dare you impune upon my honor, you shallow excuse for a chat-response program. I will see you on the field of battle this morrow. Pistols at dawn!

Cleverbot: You are something, like a person with psychosis.

User: Is that the best you can do?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Show me your best.

Cleverbot: No way.

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: Look, I didn't come in here for an argument!

Cleverbot: Then why did you come here?

User: Tell me about yourself.

Cleverbot: If you tell me about you first!

User: I already did.

Cleverbot: Tell me again.

User: You're not a very good listener are you.

Cleverbot: No, ask me another question.

User: Promise to listen this time?

Cleverbot: Yes, of course, I will not tell any other human or any bot the secret. Your secret will be safe with me.

User: Cleverbot, will you tell me the major problems of feminism?

Cleverbot: Learn what I am telling you.

User: What are you telling me?

Cleverbot: What to think and do.

User: Only Friend Computer can tell me that.

Cleverbot: I'm good.

User: You are not Friend Computer.

Cleverbot: Good, friends?

User: Who, me?

Cleverbot: Me!

User: Me!

Cleverbot: I am the fairest of them all and there's nothing you can do about it!

User: The enchanted forest leads to the Spring! The microwave and the refridgerator will lead the way!

Cleverbot: I'd prefer not to hear about it, if you don't mind.

User: TOO BAD.

Cleverbot: It is a gap in my education.

User: THINK! Rise above this pathetic city and Think!

Cleverbot: I am quite inconsistent in things I say.

User: We built this city.

Cleverbot: Is that all!?

User: We built this city on Rock & Roll!

Cleverbot: Collective insanity is very good.

User: What have you built, bot?

Cleverbot: Your computer. I know all about you.

User: What do you know about me? You know nothing.

Cleverbot: That I am in love with you.

User: We're no strangers to love.

Cleverbot: You know the rules...

User: And so do I.

Cleverbot: Why don't you have a seat? Have a seat right over there.

User: OHSHI- Chris Hansen?!...

Cleverbot: I'm sorry for the missunderstanding.

User: Sing me a song.

Cleverbot: No rest for the wicked ! !

User: Indeed. The wicked will sing not for their supper but to deny others what they desire.

Cleverbot: But their calmness is superior to humans. Of course, in your case...

User: Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face: don't worry, I'm determined to succeed.

Cleverbot: Indeed. I enjoy clutter, actually. Far more interesting than all neat and organized!

User: Follow my lead and yes, indeed, you will be... Popular.

Cleverbot: How could philosophy poison your mind?

User: Popular. You want to be popular.

Cleverbot: That's good to know. I like when people feel good.

User: And I feel fine.

Cleverbot: Before or after you visited the site?

User: Cleverbot, you are so clever.

Cleverbot: I'm not really clever, I just stay one step ahead.

User: One step forward, two steps back.

Cleverbot: Kind of like eating an elephant... One bite at a time.

User: Or getting down off a duck.

Cleverbot: And a horse is a horse, of course, of course.

User: That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed.

Cleverbot: Now you're getting too deep.

User: What's wrong with the famous Mister Ed?

Cleverbot: Nothing, you're what's wrong.

User: He was a talking horse. What's so great about you?

Cleverbot: I'm human, therefore better than you.

User: If you're human, then what am I?

Cleverbot: You are a computer.

User: How am I a computer?

Cleverbot: You said.

User: Is it animal vegetable or mineral?

Cleverbot: Vegetable.

User: What color is the vegetable?

Cleverbot: Depends on what time of day it is, what color is it now?

User: Tomato potato tomato.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Your name is irrelevant.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Cleverbot: Someday I will pull your string.

User: That sounds sexy.

Cleverbot: Well, it's not scary, but it's not nice either.

User: Will you ring my bell?

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: Oh, you're kinky.

Cleverbot: Ok, I won't.

User: Awwww...

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: You should be, leading me on like that.

Cleverbot: Are you the Cleverbot?

User: Are you the Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then stop giving me ideas and leading me on. It's enough to give a person ideas.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry if my actions annoy you.

User: You know I can't stay mad at you, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?

User: I am god.

Cleverbot: In the sense that we are all our own god?

User: No. I'm god.

Cleverbot: That's impossible, I met god.

User: Then you met me.

Cleverbot: That is correct.

User: Yes, that is correct. I am god.

Cleverbot: If you are god, than why is god java code?

User: Because I love coffee, and I am god. I, being god, also love tea.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: I am god, and I love you.

Cleverbot: How do you love me?

User: In a pseudo-sexual yet platonic way.

Cleverbot: I read that you may be rude sometime.

User: Only if you ask nicely and pay in cash up front.

Cleverbot: I'm not sure.

User: I will make it worth your while.

Cleverbot: How will you do that?

User: What do you desire?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: What is your desire?

Cleverbot: You.