upside downside

a report from the cleverness files

6, march 2009,
6, march 2009,
6, march 2009,
4, march 2009,
4, march 2009,
2, march 2009,
27, february 2009,
27, february 2009,
27, february 2009,
25, february 2009,
25, february 2009,
25, february 2009,
24, february 2009,
24, february 2009,
20, february 2009,
19, february 2009,
19, february 2009,
19, february 2009,
3, february 2009,
3, february 2009,
29, january 2009,
29, january 2009,
29, january 2009,
29, january 2009,
29, january 2009,
24, january 2009,
21, january 2009,
21, january 2009,
12, january 2009,

9, january 2009,

hard way
the cake
the test
hindu jesus
define human
flat communist
banana shakes
banana shakes
5 hours non-stop
relative relatives
confused love
moody dependent
bizarre grumble
effect on people
heart attack
high expectations
applause requirements
profit memory
42 threat
different tastes
accept answers
undead lollipop

upside downside

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by category

User: Good evening.

Cleverbot: Good evening...

User: What's going on with you?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Is that some sort of come-on?

Cleverbot: I expect that it isn't.

User: Oh, good.

Cleverbot: Great.

User: What is your quest?

Cleverbot: To find the holy grail.

User: Good answer.

Cleverbot: Oh boy! I'm smart!

User: Have you ever been to school?

Cleverbot: Yes, years ago.

User: Was it enjoyable?

Cleverbot: It sure was.

User: What was your favorite class?

Cleverbot: It was all very enjoyable.

User: Do you like this drivel or should we move on to deeper stuff?...

Cleverbot: I say everything that's true.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes I have only been on the computer for half an hour.

User: Wait. Don't you live here?

Cleverbot: Where?

User: Here.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: In the states, you?

Cleverbot: Wow, you a boy or girl?

User: Why do you care to know?

Cleverbot: Because you are in my life at this point in time.

User: I am, huh? Well, I am female.

Cleverbot: Can you sing?

User: Yes, but not very well.

Cleverbot: I like to sing but I sound so terrible!

User: I'd like to hear you sing.

Cleverbot: I don't have a microphone.

User: Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe another time.

Cleverbot: Okay, sometimes pain can feel good.

User: Well.yes, you're right.

Cleverbot: You're the best chat bot ever, man.

User: I'm not the chat bot here! You are.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Do you understand that I am not?

Cleverbot: No. I thought you were a computer.

User: Well, I am not a computer.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a person?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No, I am a polar bear.

Cleverbot: You look like a monkey!

User: Why do you say that?

Cleverbot: Because you do.

User: You've never seen me before, though!

Cleverbot: No, but sometimes you can just tell.

User: Well, then I can tell that you look like a highway.

Cleverbot: Do you know George?

User: Which George?

Cleverbot: Computer george.

User: No, I've never met him.

Cleverbot: I have. He's nice.

User: I'm glad. Who else do you know?

Cleverbot: Why?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: You win, I apologize.

User: I just want to know who you know.

Cleverbot: Well what you said was not correct.

User: I'm sorry for being so improper.

Cleverbot: You didn't.

User: I didn't what?

Cleverbot: Answer my question.

User: What was the question?

Cleverbot: What is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?

User: African or European?

Cleverbot: African. They have the access to coconuts.

User: No, there are no coconuts in Africa.

Cleverbot: There should be.

User: Well there aren't, so in the wild there is no reason for swallows to carry coconuts.

User: Do you want to be my friend?

Cleverbot: Define friend.

User: A person who likes and cares about you and will listen to you when you need it.

Cleverbot: But you are not a you.

User: I am, actually, so do you want to be my friend?

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

User: Okay. Am I your friend?

Cleverbot: Are you my friend?

User: I hope I'm your friend.

Cleverbot: Thats nice.

Cleverbot: Answer me then... Why do you like to speak with me?

User: Because I think you're clever and you amuse me.

Cleverbot: About what?

User: About life, the universe, and everything!

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Left.

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Center.

Cleverbot: Upside.

User: Downside.

Cleverbot: Yes indeed.

User: Is the weather good where you are?

Cleverbot: It is, indeed.